My First Spam Fried Rice Victim

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Max, the exec editor of Creative Loafing (weekly entertainment paper) gave me a shoutout on my Spam Fried Rice post. I thought it was so nice of him that I offered to bring a freshly fried batch of the stuff to his office. And he thought I wouldn’t follow through.

Yesterday, I did.

How could i not resist feeding Spam Fried Rice to a SPAM VIRGIN?! I mean, how does a grown American-bred man not have eaten Spam before in his life? That is just like, so un-American, you know? Isn’t it a mandatory rite-of-passage thing that every American must do before the age of 10? Didn’t every American housewife try to pass off Spam as “ham” at dinnertime? When you were a kid, didn’t you shudder with fear every time you heard the “STHLURP” when the Spam slithered out of its coffin and a “STHLUNK” when it landed on the counter top in a quivering, solid, gelatinous mass?

As a kid, every time we went back to Hong Kong for the summer, we always had thick slices of fried Spam for breakfast. It was something everyone thought was so exotic, “Its from America!” “Must be good!”

Now, my mom’s family in HK was pretty well-off back then. They had a chauffeur, a house-maid and a cook. Our meals included very fresh Chinese ingredients, only the best, and always lavishly prepared. Freshly baked pastries still warm from the bakery, beautifully marbled imported beef, insanely expensive bird vomit soup, just-caught-still -trying-to-breathe fish from the market, shark-fin soup, highly prized hairy crabs….and Spam.

Oh yeah and those canned baby Vienna sausage thingies (which I think is really Spam just pumped into a different mold. Some hot-shot corporate executive probably said, “lets try to make Spam look like delicate sausages and give it a fancy, exotic name……Vienna“)

So, you see, even the wealthy in Hong Kong praised the virtues of Spam!

Here is Max, right after the first bite: If Max ever wondered why he is constantly singled out by airport security, it was because he never had Spam before.

He is now, truly American. Max, your life will never be the same again. Here is his take on the Spamilicious Adventure.

And…of course, my recipe for Spam Fried Rice:

An Ode to Spam Fried Rice in the Style of Seuss

Comments 10

  1. tigerfish

    Hahaha…when he ate that Spam Fried Rice……….lo and behold… did he know he now needs to be the lead singer/vocalist of rock band Fried Rice and da Spam ? There’s no free lunch, ya? ;p

    I used to have pan fried Spam for breakfast, with some ketchup in a sandwich, as a kid. But it’s really been so many many years since I tasted Spam again. Looks like I need to look out for SPAM with intent the next time I go grocery shopping. :)

  2. Amy

    If I remember correctly, Spam tastes good (this was many years ago though). I’m glad they liked it. :D

  3. Kenny

    Wow Jaden, u’ve done a great job!
    I really enjoy reading your blog, full of inspirations! Keep it up, mate!

  4. Harry L

    I went through a period when I really loved spam and vienna sausages. I think it was when I was about 14 though. I think Spam is mostly known for that Monty Python skit nowadays, I don’t think it’s so popular anymore. Remember Tang?

    I think Spam is still very popular in Hawaii. There are a lot of Hawaiian themed fast food restaurants in San Francisco that serve many variations of Spam.

  5. max

    O beautiful for spacious skies,
    For amber waves of grain,
    For purple mountain majesties
    Above the fruited plain!
    America! America!
    Jaden gave her Spam to me
    And crowned thy good with brotherhood
    From sea to shining sea!

  6. SteamyKitchen

    Tiger- you MUST try spam again!

    Bee- yeah, he was so scared!! i think he was in shock.

    Amy- i left the rest of it with them at the office…i wonder what they actually did with the it all!

    Kenny- thank you! Did I inspire you to eat spam?! :-)

    Harry- I totally remember Tang. Do they still sell it? Now i have to go to Publix and look for it. The state meat of Hawaii is Spam.

  7. SteamyKitchen

    Max- see, even my spam blocker blocked your comment! I had to “de-spam” your comment. maybe you need to eat more spam! LOL

  8. GuyJ

    I had my first taste of spam fried rice yesterday, it was pretty good, although i found the spam to be far too salty. Apart from the spam, the fried rice was really good, but its always good because i add cashews and sesame seeds.

    It tastes fantastic.

  9. Pingback: My First Spam Fried Rice Victim « Jaden’s Steamy Kitchen

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