While I was living in Belfast, Northern Ireland I bought a coconut in the grocery store for ten pence. Next day, I brought it to the lab for tea time. My colleagues asked me, how are you going to open it? Easy, I said, just hit it once in the middle of each of the three lines that go between the eyes. I drained the milk into a cup after punching a couple of the eyes out with a screw driver. I opened the window of the red brick building on the third floor. With the coconut in one hand, I smashed it into the stone window sill three times, bam, bam, bam. Turning the coconut 1/3 each time to strike the center of each line. The coconut cracked and split in half by the third strike.

At that moment, I looked like I knew what I was doing.

Now can you tell me how to open a hubbard (or other large) squash? I use a giant cleaver and it is a major production!

Why?

I have whipped out the powerdrill at the crack (no pun intended) of dawn for coconut pancakes for the inlaws.

Damn near killed myself.

You’re thinking high tech when you should be thinking low tech.
Forget the power tools, electricity, and all that stuff.

I’m sure you’ve got palm trees down there in Fla.

Go out and get your self a monkey.
They open those suckers up first time every time.

PS: Your kids will love you for it !