How can you resist those pleading eyes, those eyes that say, “Mama, please don’t make me go to school…” as if it was the most horrible punishment I could ever dream up for a 5 year old.
When I was in kindergarten, I remember it was all fun and we’d spend our days playing in the dollhouse and dress up. There was no pressure to perform, there was no homework, no tests and certainly no report cards.*
When I was 5, I didn’t have a school uniform, nor a laptop, not even a backpack.**
Oh my, how things have changed.
We are raising a generation of super-kids, who are expected to learn calculus by the age of 6. Can you imagine the stress that these little tots go through at school? While I’m all for education, early learning and all the other shit that a responsible parent is supposed advocate, you’ve got to understand that my children are starting off with limited resources, namely my DNA, which yay for creativity but outta luck for anything to do with numbers, balancing a checkbook, logical reasoning or laundry.
So you can imagine that when Andrew came home from school and said “Mommy, math makes my head hurt,” I totally understood. Especially after seeing what was in his backpack:
Oh my poor baby! I got down on my knees to his eye level, held his shoulders and said to him, “Honey, we need to get a bit more efficient than drawing and counting circles. A long, long time ago, our peeps used something called an abacus. They were very, very smart and won lots of awards and ate as much candy as they wanted.”
And I tossed my mini calculator in his backpack.
On a happier note, I’m teaching my kids how to use my camera:
Yeah, it’s almost as big as his head!
And here’s Nathan – I love how he squishes his nose against the camera. Had to wipe like a ton of snot off the LCD screen after this guy used it:
Child, only Buddha can help you if you drop that camera.
I ended up giving them my really nice point and shoot camera to play with – much lighter and they had a blast playing with it.
*which is why I still use my fingers and toes for math
**I did have a cubbyhole with my teddybear and a box of cheapy 32 Crayola-knockoff crayons