Desperately Seeking Distractions

Our schedules this week worked out just right. Scott is off competing at a Taekwondo tournament in Arkansas. He’s gonna kick some butt. The boys are in sports camp during the day, and by the time they get home, they are so exhausted that they voluntarily go to bed early.

And me? I’ve got a cookbook manuscript to edit. This is the time that I need as few distractions as possible, as it requires me to sit in one spot, stare at one screen, work on one document for an extended period of time. This is nearly impossible for me.

The past few years, the internet and gadgets have trained me to multitask like a I’m someone with a Red Bull iv hooked to my arm. My eyes can dart between iPhone, iPad, laptop, Twitter, Facebook, daily Gilt Taste  sales announcements, emails and Skype. In fact, I’ve developed this sort of 1.256-second routine that I call the “Swoop” where I can do all of the above in one eye swoop and can instantly determine if anything urgent has come up within the past 2 minutes that I Swooped last.

Writing is simpler. I can write one paragraph, do the Swoop and continue with next paragraph.

Editing is a bitch. I have to actually read, digest, evaluate and act on someone else’s comments and interpretation of what I wrote.

!!!! right!? It’s like this on every single page. Damn, my first draft must have really been horrible!!

I’m having trouble concentrating on with all this red on each page.

Just to confirm my writing suckage, I found this online grammer checker called Grammarly. Warning: do not go to that site if you have low self esteem about your writing skills. All you have to do is copy paste some text and Grammarly will go through checks for grammar rules, some of which I never knew even existed:

faulty parallelisms
squinting modifiers
wordiness caused by circumlocutions

Well, okay, so my modifiers squint (I’m Asian! omg just kidding!!!!) and my words are circumsized. Whatever.

But then Grammarly scored me.

 I’m not sure how I forgot all my grammar, punctuation, spelling that I learned in school (Ms. Purcell would be very very upset at me right now.)

So what do I do? I am actively seeking out distractions. This post today should suck up an hour of time. I’ll post a recipe today too. Tomorrow I have a friend coming over. Friday I hired a massage therapist to come over. Sunday and Monday I’ve planned a beach vacation with some friends. I’m still looking for something for Saturday, so please let me know if you have any good ideas.