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SubscribeFriday, December 28, 2007
An Ode to Spam in the Style of Seuss
Before we tie a big, fat bow on this year’s box of ups, down and go-arounds, I‘d like to give props to Spam, the wondrous food that started my relationship with Creative Loafing (the newspaper that I write a weekly food column for) earlier this year when I dared editor Max to lose his spam virginity to me. And yes, I was gentle. I fed him luscious morsels of Spam nestled in mounds of snowy, fluffy, white rice.
It’s not an easy task, convincing people to willingly eat meat that comes in its own coffin, especially after hearing the “STHLURP” as it slithers out and the “STHLUNK” as it lands on the counter top in a quivering, solid, gelatinous mass.
But once you get over that part, it’s delicious, savory and like a pair of tight Levi’s, it goes with just about anything. Feed me a Spam wrapped as sushi, diced in an omelet or grilled between buns of a burger, and I’m as happy as gorilla in heat.
Outside of Hawaii, though, Spam is like the ugly step-child, banned to the tippy top shelf towards the back, so far out of my 5’2” reach that I have to ask for help. Everyone shopping within earshot of the supermarket bullhorn, “customer needs assistance reaching Spam in aisle two,” stares at me as if I had just asked to be spanked with a corn tortilla. But, come on, it’s just pork in a can with a pop-top. See that gorgonzola cheese in your cart? It’s really rotting mold from a cow’s tits. Don’t you dare judge me!
I betcha can’t name another food product that pairs well with Champagne, can spawn a Monty Python sketch and kept troops alive and well-fed during WWII. So, go ahead and pick up a can of Spam the next time you’re at the market. Just say aloud, “this would be great for the hurricane box,” if you’re embarrassed.
To get you in the mood, I’m re-posting my Ode to Spam in the Style of Seuss.
Jaden’s Ode to Spam in the Style of Seuss
Do you like Fried Rice and Spam?
Would you? Could you? In a wok?
Would you like them gently tossed?
Would you like them with fish sauce?
Would you like them cut up silly?
Would you like them with fried chilli?
Would you eat ‘em with a spork?
Would you eat ‘em with with roast pork?
You may like them, they’re not obscene
You may like them in chow mien.
Eat them! Eat them! There they are!
Eat them! Eat them! Be a Spam superstar!
Spam Fried Rice
Ingredients:
3 cups cold, cooked rice, chunks broken up so grains are loose & separate
1/2 can of Spam, cut into small dice
2 eggs, beaten
2 stalks green onion, minced
1 tsp minced garlic
1 tsp grated fresh ginger
2 cups fresh spinach leaves, finely chopped
1 tbl Chinese rice wine (or dry sherry)
2 tsp soy sauce (or 1 tsp fish sauce)
freshly ground black pepperDirections:
1. Heat cooking oil in large pan over medium high heat. When oil is hot, add eggs and gently stir to cook eggs. When eggs are about 80% cooked through (still a little runny), remove from pan and set aside. Wipe pan clean.
2. Turn heat to high. Add a little more cooking oil to pan. When hot, add diced Spam to the pan. Cook until spam is browned on all sides. Add green onions, ginger and garlic, fry until fragrant. Add spinach, fry until softened. Add rice and the cooked eggs and toss to incorporate all ingredients throughout rice.
3. Let it all just sit still in the pan so that the grains of rice have a chance to heat up, about 1 minute. Toss so that the rice that is on the top now is on the bottom. Add cooking wine and soy sauce and stir again. Season with fresh ground pepper. Cook until every grain of rice is heated through.
4. Taste...salty enough? If not, add a little more soy. But since the spam is salty already, you might want to go light on the soy.
Check out the “Toastvertising” video created by the authors of a very cool book, The Book of Spam
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This is a cake walk. My favorite way to have Spam is to simply cube it, fry it up, and toss it in with the macaroni and cheese that comes in a box and some frozen peas.
That kept me alive in college when my brain was working overtime. And, sometimes, even today, when faced with a daunting deadline, I will peel back the lid on a can of Spam and whip up some mac and cheese and voila! That deadline isn’t so terrifying.
That stuff’s like a freakin’ Scooby Snack to me.
I’ve never tried it because, frankly, it terrifies me. But if it came from you, I’d try to be brave.
Jaden,
I must admit, I have never been tempted to try SPAM until reading this recipe. I am working from home today, and I am very tempted to run out to the shop and pick up a tin full of the stuff!
Surely my boss won’t mind if I focus on food today instead of my work…
Thanks for the recipe!
Sliced thin and fried in a pan. That’s how my Grandfather served it to us. He suffered through the depression and served in a war, say no more! I bought spam sushi in the Hilo Farmers Market once. It was a pretty little package. I think it’d be perfect in fried rice, especially if I can’t find lap cheong.
Hi Jaden~
I really love Spam but haven’t had it in ages. I think since I’ve become more aware that eating heaps of sodium is not good for you, I’ve had a hard time picking it up off the supermarket shelf!
But my absolute favorite way to eat Spam is how my mom used to prepare it when I was younger. Cube it and stir fry it with onion and corn. Eat happily over a bowl of fresh steaming white rice. MmMMmMm.
I was in your area (Tampa) over Christmas visiting my in-laws but unfortunately you didn’t have any classes going on. I’m going to try to schedule our next visit so that I can attend one.
Hope I’ll get to visit you some time in the next year. Happy new year to you and your family!
I have never tried SPAM in my life. I think it may be due to the fact I have never really encountered it in a grocery store. I have no idea where they even keep it and truthfully I have never exerted much effort in looking for it. In fact, the only time I ever saw it on a shelf was in a seedy gas station in Gainesville right next to what seemed like a 45 year old can of franks and beans. Uncomfortable associatons aside, I would be willing to try any SPAM you sent me (as long as it wasn’t covered in dust and peppered with Flying J price tags
I ahve not tried the Spammy goodness. I avhe no reason why not. I just haven’t gotten around to it. Haven’t cooked with Saffron either – I’m just getting a chance to try a bunch of new stuff recently, sort of geting my culinary flex on so – SURE! I’d try to cook with Spam.
Spam musubi!! with the spam cooked in shoyu, sugar. With eggs and rice in the morning. In goya champuru with bittermelon, egg and tofu. Oh, and in corn chowder…what can I say, I grew up with Spam!
I like Spam, either pan fried and eaten with fried rice or in sandwiches. A while back, I went hiking with American friends and I brought Span sandwiches. They ate it then. And then a week later, I met up with another American girl and we got to talking about sandwiches. I mentioned that I like Spam sandwiches. And she said like it was yucky coming from cans, etc… At the back of my mind, I was embarrassed because of the Spam sandwiches I brought to the hiking and my two friends were just forced to eat the sandwich out of politeness.
Glad I read this post. Now I know that not all Americans dislike Spam.
I like it with mac and cheese, too! It has to be the boxed stuff with the powdery cheese packet. I haven’t had any of this stuff in years… brings back memories of high school! I had friends that carved the block of spam into the shape of a pig. That was a little disturbing.
Another Spam virgin here.. But I must admit – it looks very tempting. I have a feeling that it would pair wonderfully with leeks in a quiche…
I can’t remember ever having eaten SPAM. But you’ve demystified it here! Your fried rice sounds very delicious — except for the SPAM part — but I would try it (you don’t even have to send me a can; I’ll risk buying some!).
This post reminds me of a thing that Katie of Thyme for Cooking is doing called “Skeletons in the Closet,” in which you expose previously hidden facts about your gustatory past (or present). In the post I did for that event, I talked about the very non-haute things I used to eat (and still eat!). It was fun.
I like it sliced and pan fried. My mom use to make Spam sandwiches to take to school. Yeah, I was really popular at school with my Spam sandwiches and sardine sandwiches. I’m lucky that I didn’t get beat up at school!
I am a Spam virgin. I grew up in a home which knew no pork. But I’m willing to give it a try. There’s no need to send me a can though, thanks.
I love the Book of Spam toasted flip book video! And do you really like to be spanked with corn tortillas?
Jaden, you are one gifted writer. I’m so happy to see you are getting recognition in the local area. Now when is channel 7 going to give you a wider audience by featuring you on the News at Noon cooking segment?
Have not had it in a while, but in my youth I had Spam in numerous ways. Pan fried slices. In a sandwich with mustard. In quiche. A square on a toothpick as a salty snack. And in fried rice, of course! Also, have you noticed that in Gmail, the Google ads that pop up when you view your spam folder are all recipes for Spam?
Would not, could not hesitate, to put some more Spam on my plate.
So, after reading this post, I must say that I’m embarrassed to have not tried SPAM. Surely any food product that has its own cult following (what, with the Monty Python song and lovely t-shirts) deserves at least a taste, right?
Yes, Jaden, if you send it, I will eat it. The proposed meals you keep pushing on us feeble readers have not failed me yet, so why should SPAM Fried Rice? (Why do I keep all-capping SPAM?!? Make it stop!)
If it’s good enough for Jaden, it’s good enough for me, I always say. Or at least I say it now in hopes that I win the Book of SPAM!
Chris
I have not eaten Spam in years but when I was a child, my mom used to serve us fried spam sandwiches and I liked them. As a teenager I had a friend who grated the Spam, added mayo and relish, spread it on an english muffin, topped it with a slice of American cheese and broiled it until the cheese was melted and bubbly…..delish! I may have to go on a Spam run to the store today.
I don’t have a favorite way. I have had spam, but I honestly can’t remember HOW. It has been so long. Yes, I would try it – because I always try something twice.
wow. so many ways to enjoy. Naturally, there’s the traditional SPAM MUSUBI, I like to pair it with shoyu sugar and sometimes add some bonito flakes or furikake with it. Another way I like to have it is to fry it up into cubes & throw it in an omelette with veggies…or have it like it were sausage with eggs, overeasy, over a mound of white fluffy rice covered with shoyu. Lastly, I like to fry up a plain white mochi, dip that into shoyu sugar, place a square piece of fried spam (coated with shoyu sugar), and wrap it up with a thin piece of nori, as if it were the worlds largest piece of spam sushi!! YUM!!!! I could go on and on about spam but I think i may be embarrassing myself now…
No question, Spam hash. But a close second is that noodle soup I had all over Hawaii with those big, tasty pieces of Spam.
I remember having fried Spam sandwiches at
a friend’s house, when I was a kid. I was
thinking, “I’m not supposed to like this stuff,
but it tastes pretty good!”
*sigh* I’ve told no one about that, until now,
so let’s keep that between us, ok? Thanks!
I know I’ve had it and I *think* it was when I was a kid. I want to say we had fried spam for breakfast with the scrambled eggs and toast. (although it *could* have been in the Army also)
I haven’t tried your fried rice recipe with it yet (used shrimp, chicken and meatballs so far with that one) but would be more than willing to give it a go!
Spam and eggs is a popular dish at our house. Cut the Spam into small chunks and brown. Add beaten eggs and cook until set. Top with a little cheese if you want to get fancy. That’s it. Delicious!
We also like Spam and bean soup and Spam croquettes.
I’m not sure if I’ve had the true Spam brand of luncheon meat while I was in the States in 1986-88, but in Malaysia, since 40 or 50 years ago, someone has been importing a type from China with a white and dark green label and a picture of a real pig at the front. It might’ve been Great Wall brand. There’s a ‘key’ that comes stuck on top of the rectangular can. To open the can, you lift a small metal flap near the top, slip it through the ‘keyhole’ and start turning the key which rips away the band of metal.
My favourite way with ‘Spam’ is to fry it in a bit of butter with onions in scrambled egg – sort of an eggs benedict or egg foo-yong piggy-flavoured. Eaten on toast, it’s yumminee-yum!
http://www.spamarama.com/
Spam-virgin.
I think I’ve never tried it because I’ve never thought of trying it…
And why not? I’ll try anything* once.
*not poisonous, toxic, or otherwise posing a high risk of death-induction.
Ahh.Spam..
Cook up a pot of wide egg noodles, with chunks of cabbage in the water, then drain, reserving both.
At the same time, heat butter, garlic, milk and swiss cheese in a pot on low.
Add the Spam when the cheese is almost melted, let heat through, and add to the cabbage noodles.
Pure Pennsylvania Dutch Spam, yum.
Jaden, my family loves your Firecracker Shrimp, thanks for the recipe.
And yet another “Spam-virgin”.
Try it? Sure, although I am wondering if it’s one of those things that you have to acquire a taste for as a kid, kinda like peanut butter.
Jaden, I love your site. It’s made me the king of steaks with your sea salt recipe!
As for SPAM, I like cutting two thin slices from the big chunk, frying them up side-by-side golden brown, then adding a slice of American cheese on top. Once the cheese gets melty, I put them between two slices of toast for an absolutely delish sandwich. If you’re adventurous, add a swirl of ketchup for a taste of heaven.
Spam virgin here. I came close to trying Spam when living in Minnesota but never quite worked up the nerve.
Not sure what scares me about it… Maybe its the infinite shelf life of a meat product. But as I tell my boys — you can’t say you don’t like something unless you TRY it, so I’d give it a shot.
Eons ago, when I was a single mother of 5 struggling to survive on a nurses salary, Spam was a go-to for stretching the food budget. We had moved to California from Louisiana, so my cooking definitely had a cajun spin. Spam Creole is so fondly remembered by my children that when they “published” a “vanity” cookbook of my recipes a couple of years back, it was included AND heralded as a fav. The dish was simply a Shrimp Creole rip-off, but they didn’t know that.
1 medium onion, finely chopped
2 Tbsp margarine or butter
1 small bell pepper, chopped (large dice)
1 small stalk celery, finely chopped
1 bay leaf, crushed
1 tsp snipped parsely
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
1 Tbsp sugar (optional)
1 can (6 oz tomato paste)
2 cups water
1 can spam, diced (increase to 2 as children pass puberty)
3 cups hot cooked rice
Cook and stir onion in margarine in 2 quart saucepan until onion is tender.
Stir in remaining ingredients except Spam and rice. Cook over low heat, stirring occasionally, 30 minutes until sauce thickens.
Stir in Spam; heat through. Serve over rice.
6 servings
P.S. Weinies work too :p
I’m definitely a spam virgin. I’ve always thought that meat in a can was a little intimidating…
I do remember eating a little vienna sausage once when I was younger and I absolutely hated it. Maybe it fueled a subconscious fear of meat in a can?
I have never tried Spam. In the past, I’ve had other canned meat such as the meat in dinty moore stew and the lil hotdogs in the can, but not Spam. It always seemed a bit too slimy to be appealing.
But, now those are days have passed. I gave up pork over a year ago so now spam is “right out” as Monty Python would say. But I admire your use of such a cheap, versitle ingredient.
I like to make spam musubi with egg, only with the spam sauteed in Som Good sauce first. Mmm..
Everyone is always grossed out to hear that my favorite sandwich growing up was a spam and peanut butter sandwich. I haven’t had one in probably 15-20 years, but I should try it out again sometime just for kicks!
I think the only time I have tried SPAM was at Cafe 100 in Hilo – on our honeymoon. I think we ordered a loco moco each, though we probably could have split one, talk about a concoction that is over-the-top and delicious….
I have never eaten Spam, simply because I cannot get over its gelatinous state. In general, meat in a can scares me. I might try it if I didn’t have to touch it to cook it.
Heh… Mostly, I just drop it from the can, rinse the gelatin off, slice and eat. No toast, no condiments, no heating, just… SPAM. Not often, but about once a year, I’ll pick up a can or two because I’ve got the craving.
Usually, it’s been classic spam, but I’ve also tried turkey and “hot and spicy” with tabasco.
On occasion, when I’m in the mood to cook, I’ll sub it in for just about any meat, in any recipe. My personal fave, though, is a kind of dirty rice.
Cube the spam, with the gelatin still on, and drop it all into a medium skillet, start rendering some of the delicious fatty stuff out. When it’s all browned up a bit, drop in some diced onion (big dice for me), 2 cups water, one cup rice, stir, bring to a boil, cover for 5 minutes, turn the heat off and let sit for another 5 for the rice to finish absorbing. Fluff, and eat.
ha, ha! it does! it has it’s own little coffin! i don’t eat it anymore, because we ate sooooo much as a kid. even the smell is a bad memory for me! but if i had to choose, it would be sliced thin and fried also for me. (but your rice dish does look very appealing!) i think i told you before, they have a spam-carving contest at hubby’s school!? weird! i can only imagine the carnage!
I am a Spam virgin, and I haven’t tried it simply because I like to cook and I never think of Spam as a food that requires cooking. I’d definitely try it if the situation presented itself (I’ve lived on potted meats during camping trips), it just hasn’t yet.
Okay, and maybe because it’s a little embarrassing to buy it…
I do product tests for a survey company and had the opportunity to try the Spam singles before they hit the shelves. It’s the only time I’ve ever tried it, but I had it on a sandwich (as recommended on the package) and thought it was fine.
I’m intrigued by your recipes and have been checking out past winning recipes on the spam website as a result!
Can’t say I love it, but when we partake, it’s grilled then on toast with mayo. Grew up on it so I think I had my fill. My kids made the mistake of asking their dear Aunt for manufactured meat as a Christmas present, so every year they get some form of the meat in a coffin (I love that!). Lucky for us, we also got a loaf of homemade bread for Christmas…..
We have a family holiday brunch dish called Spam & Eggs, which is cubed spam and quartered hard-boiled eggs suspended in a cheddar-cheese bchamel sauce. (Originally it was Velveeta, yo.) All of this is scooped on top of freshly-toasted bread. Photographic evidence: http://marriedwithdinner.com/2006/10/22/spamalot-or-not/
I could say musubi, but my favorite is fried noodles: saimin/ramen/yakisoba noodles, napa cabbage, maybe carrots, kamaboko, cha siu, and Spam stir-fried with a couple packets of saimin flavoring. I taught my mainland-born husband to love my Hawaii food, and he routinely asks for fried noodles when we have the ingredients on hand.
Despite its ready availability here on the mainland, Spam is a taste of home for me. My college roommates and I actually ate fried Spam on 9/11 while watching the news–quick and easy for them, comforting for me. (Yeah, I think I lose the contest by bringing up 9/11, but the Spam thing is a vivid memory I have from that day.)
For all you Spam novices, you can think of it as a flavorful condiment, the way bacon or pancetta can be: a little diced and fried on rice or eggs or whatever is salty, porky goodness. Hm…maybe I’ll have some Spam today!
OMG, I can’t believe how many Spam virgins there are here! I, on the other hand, was for all practical reasons raised on the stuff. My favorite way? Just sliced thinly, pan-fried until the surfaces become brown and rather crispy, and eaten simply with a nice hot bowl of white rice – using my fingers. Yum.
Mmm, spam…
Growing up, my favorite way to eat Spam was sliced & fried (or straight out of the can) with cold white rice & kimchi. (My parents grew up in post-war Korea where wonderful American GIs introduced it.)
My current favorite way to eat Spam is Spam Musubi…although, due to the sodium content (& the ick-factor from my husband) it’s a rare treat.
I grew up eating fried Spam as the meat course for many a meal, as well as Spam and mustard sandwiches. When I first got married and was on a tight budget, I would slice it several times, nearly to the bottom, and put half slices of canned pineapple in between, then put a brown sugar glaze over it and bake it. It’s pretty good ground up with mayo & relish for sandwiches, too. (BTW, I’m from the northeast)
Here in Los Angeles, at our local Costco, they sell Spam by the case. I see people loading up their carts, with not 1 or 2 cases, but 5 or 6 at a time!! And we don’t even have hurricanes here!!
Fried Spam on white bread with mayo, was our Saturday lunch, as a child.
Yes, I am a spam virgin. Until reading your post spam had never moved me enough to take the plunge. If you sent me spam, I would have to try it…and post about it (if I ever get around to doing that again)!