Fighting over the Butt-Bowl + Winners

Two Christmases ago, I asked for a Buddha Bowl, a beautiful and organically designed bowl that has a clever hook for your thumb so that it snuggles firmly in the palm of your hand. Perfect for eating a bowl of ice cream or drinking some warm miso soup while lounging on the couch, making good use of the extra $125 we paid to get the couch sprayed with Scotchguard stain repellent. I was very protective of my Buddha Bowl, certainly something with my god’s name attached to it deserved some sort of exclusivity in my household, meaning ONLY I MAY USE IT since it was my little precious thing. Ok, so I wasn’t quite aligned with the spirit of Buddhism, but hey, kitchen stuff trumps religion.

All year long I took care of that bowl, always hand-washing it, drying it thoroughly with a clean, lint-free towel and placing the bowl on one of my higher shelves where the boys couldn’t reach.

Well, on New Year’s Day, as you can see from the photo, Andrew insisted he wear his Halloween costume, Buzz Lightyear. Nathan wore his Incredibles costume and the combined forces of these two superheroes were just too much for my fresh hangover to argue with.

Because I didn’t put up a fight about the costumes, this rush of fearless audacity overcame him and Andrew declared he was going eat oatmeal out of MY Buddha Bowl. I started objecting, and he pushed back with, “BUT I’M BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!!!” in that shrieking 6:17am morning after New Year’s Eve sorta way. My inner hangover was no match for Buzz..

“FINE. Eat from the Buddha Bowl. Just slurp your oatmeal quietly and don’t bang your spoon on the side of the bowl,” as I handed him his breakfast.

Andrew set the bowl down on his little kiddie table, plopped in his little kiddie chair and ate as if this oatmeal was his fuel for household domination. After stuffing 4 straight spoonfuls, he took a moment to chew, reflect on his recent power the costume gave him and then just stopped with his eyes wide open.

“BUTT-BOWL!!! aaahhhaaaa! BUTT-BOWL!!! hhhaaahaaa!”

Nathan zipped over to see what Buzz was laughing about, “HAHAHAHAHAHAH! BUTT-BOWL! FUNNY!”

You may remember that my kids have a thing for saying BUTT really loudly and laughing uncontrollably as if that one word summed up the meaning of life and THEY were the only ones in on the joke.

Upon closer inspection, yeah, it did look like a butt, right where the bowl was pinched together to form the handle on the outside. Great mother of sea whales! How did I not notice this before? Surely I would have been grossed out eating out of a bowl with an TIGHT ASSHOLE staring at me!

ONE Butt-Bowl. TWO superheroes. Do you understand the problem here?

Everyday since New Year’s, they have been arguing about who gets to eat from the famed bowl.

There is NO WAY IN HELL I’m going to spend $20 on another Tight Asshole bowl. But curious to see if the makers had an explanation for the butt, I went onto their site:

Enjoy a moment of Zen with the handmade Buddha Bowl. Nestled naturally in your palm, this bowl allows you to enjoy rice, soup, cereal and hot cocoa with ease. Its comforting shape washed in soothing color, this dish brings a touch of tranquility to your daily routine. Who knows-maybe you’ll find enlightenment in your morning latte.

Hmmmm…maybe Buddha is hinting that “BUTT!!! HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!” really is the answer to life.

***

Spam Book + Steamy Kitchen Care Package Winners

I’ve got 2 winners. The first one is the random pick, Lisa of La Mia Cucina

Actually, you’ve already summed up the reasons why I just can not force myself to try SPAM, even though the Hubbs loves it (pan fried, between bread with mustard).

And I quote “STHLURP slithers STHLUNK quivering, solid, gelatinous mass”

Thank you and good night!
xoxo

The second winner is Sharon, whom I personally picked just because I thought her poem was so cool:

My favorite is Spam fajitas – slice the Spam, julienne it, add to sliced onions and green & red pepper strips and sautee, serve on tortillas with usual fajita accoutrements. Yum.
So you’ve had a couple of other poems in the comments – here’s mine :)

Whenever mealtime’s in a jam
I pull out my can of Spam
It gives me something I can munch
For a speedy kind of lunch

So when the cupboard’s nearly bare
And you find a can of Spam in there
You can be rest assured for one
That your next meal is nearly done

If to Hawaii you should go
To learn to hula fast (or slow)
They’ll never serve you eggs with ham
They’ll say Aloha – have some Spam!

I eat Spam morning, noon and night
For any meal it’s quite alright
I think it’s truly very good
Have you tried a can of Spam? You should!

Sometimes the Spam runs out my ears
And I think I will live four hundred years
But I’ll be happy as a clam
In my pantry with my cans of Spam.

Send me your full name and addresses so I can mail your prize to you!!  My email is jaden (at) steamykitchen (dot) com.

———- a little note from Overstock.com ———-

Cooking delicious food can be done with the help of the right cookware and cutlery. Sharp knives make cutting and chopping food easier and faster. Be sure to know your knife safety, especially if you have small children. Eating delicious food can be made even better with quality flatware that won’t bend while you eat.

———- end of little note from Overstock.com ———-

Simple 10-Minute Miso Soup

Vietnamese Chicken Noodle Soup – Pho Ga

Roasted Baby Eggplant

Comments 32

  1. joanne

    I’m gonna have to get a butt-bowl or two now. Boys and their potty humor never go away. I think it intensifies and they become college frat boys, then when they are finally in their late 40’s early 50’s it subsides to a manageable level. This is the dividing line that separates men and women.

  2. LunaPierCook

    “Enjoy a moment of Zen … Nestled naturally in your palm … Its comforting shape washed in soothing color … maybe you’ll find enlightenment …”

    Butt-bowl. Works for me. ;-)

  3. syd

    I’m shocked that you didn’t make the Ass connection right away. Thank God for superheros.

    Very cute story.

  4. Jessica

    I’ve been coveting a buddha bowl from uncommongood.com for years now… and after reading this post I don’t think I can get one. But it would be SO nice for curling up on the couch with soup or ice crem or noodles or whatever, like you mentioned…

    But all I would ever think of is “BUTT-BOWL!” And i’m sure my husband, who has the mind of a 10 year old, would have the same though. *sigh*

  5. amanda

    i have never seen the attraction to the buddha bowl, yet after reading this post, curiously I now want one.

  6. Burnt Lumpia

    I must get me an Ass Bowl from which to eat chocolate ice cream! From your picture, the bowl looks fairly large. I may have to opt for the Lil Ass Bowl.

  7. Ady

    Happy new year Jaden I wish for you an year full of joy and happiness but first full of health
    Kisses

  8. Lyrical Lemongrass

    I almost twisted my hand trying to figure out how to hold the bowl(imaginary bowl, but not an imaginary pain).

    Nestled naturally in your palm..? Not in mine. Is it me, the bowl, or just a lack of proper imagination?

  9. Lynn

    This “butt” hilarity will only increase, cresting (hopefully), in junior high. That’s when you need to be on extra good terms with your physician (food bribes here) so your flow of coping pharmaceuticals is uninterrupted. :-)

  10. bb

    Being a blogger of a “certain age” I feel compelled to respond to Lynn’s thoughtful, but futile, hypothesis that “This butt ‘hilarity’ will only increase, cresting (hopefully) in junior high.” In case you haven’t noticed in the men around you, and as myself and others of my gender have often been accused, sadly our humor doesn’t “crest” (which implies that it recedes), but seems to “freeze” (which implies same old shit, different situation).
    By the way J…you said “Tight Asshole”…heh-heh-heh-heh….oh, sorry…….

  11. Single Guy Chef

    Your post got me all curious about how the ass got shaped inside the bowl. The 10-year-old inside me wanted to see what a butt would look like inside a bowl? Can you take a picture of the inside to show us? I tried to go to the site to see if they had an interior shot but they didn’t.

    BTW, you weld such marketing powers, Miss Steamy Kitchen. I see that the butt bowl, uh, buddha bowl, is out of stock. Your readers must have snatched it all up after reading this post! I actually think its made ideally for eating rice so you can push it in with your chopsticks from the bowl. I don’t know if I’d want to drink soup from it because I’m still a bit unbalanced.

    Anywho, tell your kids the butt bowl now gives new meaning to kissing butt. ;-)

  12. Lisa

    squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

    I’m terribly excited and slightly sickened (STHLURP) at the same time! Yay!

    Thank you! I can’t wait to see my surprise! :D

    xoxo

  13. Bopabob

    Hi Steamy,
    Why not make your buttbowls from sourdough…..then you can eat the lot!!!!
    Regards
    Bopa

  14. Sharon

    whoo hoo –
    I emailed you!!

    And if the bowl looks like a butt, does the handle that curves around look like a curly tail? :)

  15. meeso

    :)) Butt-bowl! I love it! Kids say the funniest things, I get a kick out of all the things I hear from my daughter…I called her a butt-head the other day, and she replied back with an atomically correct name for me :)) I love it! I’m glad you can see the humor in it…some people cant :(

  16. meeso

    :D Oh…I also can’t spell any better than kids…that would be anatomically correct name! Hehehe!

  17. wmw

    Butt-bowl…hahahaha, drinking straight out from that bowl will never be the same again :o)

  18. Meryl

    Jaden, your boys are too cute!! I love your stories about them :-)

  19. Katie

    The eyes of children…paricularly the usual self-absorbed see a butt in anything child… Sometimes they can take the fun out of it for us grown-ups…butt more often they put it back in….
    I ‘heart’ a butt, er, I mean, a buddha bowl. I could eat spam and macaroni and cheese from it…with great pleasure…

  20. Cynthia

    What is it with little boys and going through that phase where they find a word and find it so hilarious :)

  21. TBC

    Butt-bowl-LOL :-)
    Your son is adorable!
    I love the look of that bowl and am almost tempted to buy one.

  22. joey

    I love your sons! Yes, even post-hangover :) Nothing puts life in perspective like kids in costume discovering a butt-hole in a zen bowl! Gosh, they have it all figured out don’t they? ;)

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