‘m going to give you 6 letters, out of order and I bet I can show you just ONE IMAGE and in that image you’ll be able to see, hear, feel and smell EXACTLY what those 6 letters form.
Here are the letters….in random order:
H I S O T H
Ready? Ok….read on…
See?!?!? I TOLD YOU. Well, now that it’s happened, wanna see how far I can throw a digital SLR lens what the inside of a digital SLR lens looks like?
It was an accident by one of the kids, but really, it was my fault for not realizing that:
TALL TRIPOD + EXPENSIVE CAMERA + CHILD RUNNING AT 8 MPH BEING CHASED BY ANOTHER CHILD WEARING SUPERHERO COSTUME WITH FLASHING LIGHTSABER = DISASTER.
The good news is that of all my lenses, this one was the least expensive. I’ll just deduct it from the kid’s’ college fund. Since I’ve turned the spare bedroom into ‘the place where Mama takes pictures of dinner,’ it’s been off-limits to the kids, and they generally remember not to cross the electro-magnetic force field protecting my precious space.
But when somehow when they put on their superhero costumes, they think that rules don’t apply to them anymore. Which makes me think I should just go out and buy a Wonder Woman costume for myself:
DAMN. Do I look hot or not?! Like the angelic aura of innocence? I wish I looked like that for real! If I had a body like Wonder Woman, do you REALLY think I’d be in the FOOD business????
And let me just say, honey, any male villain being chased by two big bouncing boobs, stars pointing at a crotch, a gold whip and built-in wrist-cuffs, would hee-haw to the angels up above and surrender in a heartbeat. I’d kick ass with this costume body.
Note to husband: Sweetheart, this was PHOTOSHOPPED. Don’t you dare think I’d wear this costume, even for you.
***
Now, what were we talking about? Oh yes…I’m showing you the place where I take food photos…..a.k.a. my Food Porn Room.
The Steamy Kitchen Food Porn Room
which used to be the spare bedroom. See the guest bed? Self inflates in 3 minutes to a full-sized bed. Convenient. Comfy. But not too comfy so that guests to stay too long. 
KIDDING!
I’ve got a box of fake tropical flowers and greenery. A big box of dishes that I got on sale at CB2 (owned by Crate & Barrel but way cheaper)
My “set” is a small square “Table in a Bag” that my brother got for me from Crate & Barrel. The cool thing is that the table is very sturdy, but the legs screw off and the top rolls up. It comes with a duffel bag to sling over your shoulder so that you can set up a table at the beach. The wicker thigy that is propped up is really just a fancy placemat.
Those lights? AWESOME. I’ll tell you about them in my next post. (what’s a Porn Room with out a little tease???) Ok done teasing! Here are my lights.
I have black and white foamboards that I use for backgrounds or to reflect light. That shiny gold lame is not my wedding dress! Really. It’s used to reflect light onto the food. The other side is silvery. Do you want a warmish glow to the food (gold) – or a cool, white glow (silver or white). Of course I have a tripod too.
click on photo for larger image if you have a Flickr account
I shop at Target, Walmart, outlet stores, Home Goods, Pottery Barn, basically any place that has a sale. I usually just get one placemat and add that to my collection. The fabric stash includes yards of gorgeous material, usually I buy on-sale remnants from fabric stores. I use them for my food shots sometimes, especially if I want a nice subtle texture (linen) or bright Asian look (Chinese embroidered silk/brocade). If you get fabric, buy 1 yard. That should be enough for a food shot.
Ok. That’s all I have time for. Gotta go teach a Japanese cooking class!
Hey, so now that I’ve shown you my porn room SHOW ME YOURS!
{ 76 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh Bloody Hell!!!!
(Oh Shit is much nicer than what I would have said.)
Your pictures link to a private page on FLICKR that I can’t view.
I’m looking forward to the post on the lights!!!!!!!
Oh how I miss the days of just the ottaman and white board. At leasat then, the food-delay-time was only moments. But now that dinner has to make a detour through the entire steamy kitchen home, I’ve noticed a decrease in the average food serving temperature. While the kids think anything that’s not cold is too hot, we’re still ok. All of this for the readers of the Steamy Kitchen.
BTW, something just doesn’t seem right about this:
“Ok. That’s all I have time for. Gotta go teach a Japanese cooking class! Hey, so now that I’ve shown you . . . . SHOW ME YOURS!”
Baby, we can set up the dining table in the Porn Room! That should solve the problem!
kisses, wife
I was gonna say, when I saw the lens, at least it’s just a nifty fifty 1.8… that could have been much worse. Even the 1.4 is, what, 2 or 3 times the cost, for the same length? And of course, it could have been… a white lens….
(proud owner of a Rebel XTi, 50mm 1.8, 70-300mm Macro, multiple flashes, and cheap ebay radio triggers to get the flashes off camera….)
I need a porn room. And, dammit! I need to hear about those lights!
Oh, little 50mm 1.8!! Mine is my cheapest lens, too, but I would mourn for it if it were gone. Can’t wait for your post on the lights…I need to work on my food photography skillz. =)
I can’t believe you people are talking about the camera when what I want to know is … what did the dress look like originally?
Oh the husband invades
. Jaden, quick post your Valentines day wish list. stat ..lol
At least your reasons are valid enough for the camera mishap. My husband broke mine and I am camera-less till I find me a new one. Guess who is sleeping on the couch?
My setup is very simple… “there is no set up”.
cool set up!
Ouch! Condolences on the loss of your lens, Jaden. And congratulations on your Super Woman costume. I’ve outgrown mine — bigtime– thanks to your recipes!
man, I have to so increase my stash of things. Plenty of tips there-really appreciate all that effort you put in to have such gorgeous photos.
Mine is a white table in a corner next to an off-white wall (hence the reason why I tend to use white plates). I have been experimenting with wrapping paper as the backdrop (blue tac to the wall). It’s time to gather up various textures of cloths and discounted placements!
if i looked like that in ANY costume, i would wear it ALL the time! yes, i too, think you used tremendous restraint in your vocabulary after that camera disaster!
When I saw the random letters, I had a touch of dyslexia come over me. I yelled out ‘SHUSHI’, she’s going to make sushi… yeah!
I was wrong. So sorry you had carnage instead.
Very nice food porn room and implements. Loved the husbands added words! I think he was complaining in code.
I don’t have a porn room, only a new little digital camera and little talent to even set it properly.
Oh shit indeed!
hahaha! you are hilarious! i love that you guys are exchanging messages on your blog, as if you don’t see each other at home. i don’t see any comments from the hubby on the wonder woman thingee- did he like it? or better, did he think it was really you? hahaha!
Oh no! I hope that the camera is okay. Cool porn room! I’d be happy just to have some light in my house. I’m ready to get the axe and start chopping down some trees!
I go crazy at Home Goods. Any place that I can get Royal Doulton plates for $3.99 is okay with me! Have you been to the new Sur la Table down by Whole Foods yet? I found some good deals on cute little dishes there. They also have lots of pretty chopsticks and bamboo mats.
Bow-chica-wow-wow!
I have not set up the nice camera (I think we have the same model, actually) because you’ve given me some good tips that I haven’t had to much. So, I just use my little Kodak point-and-shoot and a white poster board (it’s more flexible than a foamboard, and I don’t keep my table super clean, so I need to be able to move it around to conceal things
).
However, I do want to find my charger for my other point-and-shoot because I think it has a custom white balance function that my dinky Kodak is lacking.
Love the Wonder Woman get up–I may have to blow it up life sized!
We’re here enjoying some of your wonderful CD’s and regretting the loss of the squatters room to pornagraphic purposes………..
Oops… Thats gotta hurt.. And, Jaden, I see your whole family here (kids don’t have access to the computer, I guess). Its actually a nice way to have a family conversation. You just have to talk about your ‘other costumes’, thats all
Sorry about the lens..and that’s a neat room there…..
I want to see a picture of the gold la’me wedding dress!
Those lights are awesome! Is that what you’re using nowadays instead of natural lighting because I can’t tell a difference. I should invest in some since lighting is so crappy during the Seattle winter. And omg I’m so envious of that fabric and placemat stash… I have no fabric or placemats. *sob*
Since I moved house I don’t have a porn room anymore. Because we were also moving countries I gave away all my fabric. I’m thinking to replace them with wallpaper. got tired of ironing the fabraic when I needed to use them.
Bummer about the lens!
CostPlus World Market and Tuesday Morning are also excellent places to buy cheap dishes and placemats.
I loved the little peek inside your food porn room!!! I actually don’t have one but the time is coming….winter is terrible for taking photos in Italy – I only have a couple of hours of natural light!!
I think “Oh, Shit” would be the least of what would come out of my mouth!
Thanks for the peek into the porn room. My setup is much more primitive – a heavy-duty sheet of plastic, spray painted white on one side, laid down on the floor in front of the sliding glass door. Lights? Not yet. (Looking forward to the next installment.) Need to replace the macro that got stolen!
BTW, thanks for the herbs!!!
Ah, I knew it was ‘Oh shit’! Coz that’s one of your fav phrases, haha.
Yes, if only we had that Linda Whatshername’s body AND still eat whatever we wanted, sigh…
My ‘photo room’ is the top of a sideboard, on an Ottoman or on the floor by the glass sliding door. That’s how the dog got her paws in the act (in my header pic).
I loved the wonder woman.
And also the comment from Mr.Wonder Woman.
Thanks for sharing the set up. I stay in a not-too-big apartment so there really isn’t a proper place for me to take photos. I have to set up the table with the necessary backdrop etc at the balcony EVERY TIME I need to take photos, and then immediately disassemble it after that so that my little monster won’t have any chance to invade. That’s a lot of work.
That’s a nice little food porn room! I’ve always like to see how you professionals take your nice food shots. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for the peek into “The Real Steamy Kitchen’s Life”:)
So? Tell us what we really want to know…
How long did you steam the freshly killed lens?
Did you use a red laquer treatment like making duck?
Slow Braised in ceramic pot, 5 spice powder, Oyster sauce and baby bok choy?
Break it down into smaller pieces and use it like pork in some other kind of exotic dish? (First throwing away the sharp metal bones of course)
Facts – We want facts.
Inquiring foodies want to know !
Eek, sorry to hear about the lens–I could only imagine the words that would come out of my mouth. :-/ I constantly have two dogs running around (especially with the prospect of crumbs while I’m cooking–what a prize!), so I’ll put the camera on the tripod, take a photo, take it off the tripod, and put the camera on a counter or somewhere un-bumpable. Incredibly inconvenient and some things have overcooked as a result, but I guess in the end, its for the best…(especially seeing how its my wife’s camera…
)
Interesting to see where you take all the money shots! Its got me thinking that I need to get a more photo friendly set up going on. My current set up is:
(1) turn on all the lights in the kitchen near the stove
(2) wipe spills, crumbs, and other crap off the counter
(3) make some attempt at plating nicely and move it off of the stove and on the counter
(4) hope for the best
(5) photoshop to make up for (4)
Oh, boo hoo on the lens! Well, at least that gives you an excuse to go buy a bigger, better, more expensive one, right? And it’s a tax deduction, too!
My food porn studio is my dining room table. Think what a delay that makes for dinner! We can’t eat at the table because there’s too much blog garbage all over it!
you cracked me up with this one, “I’ll just deduct it from the kid’s’ college fund.”
Even when I did product photography when I had my shop going, I wasn’t fortunate to have a permanent setup for it. I had to take it down each time and set it back. I miss doing the photography though.
Good God Jaden!!! you are just too good!!:) that’s a heck of a post:D
is that your handwriting in the photos or a specific font you used?
Wicked cool!
Aren’t fake flowers bad luck??
Man my rig sucks. It’s basically a dining room light attached to a ceiling and my glass dining table. I need to invest in a food porn set up.
Hey Scott, got one word for ya’; Microwave.
Ok, challenge taken. Gotta go take a pic of the cats’ food cart …
Oh i am tres jealous of your cool porn room. I take most of the pictures in the kitchen – where that’s about the only time/space/room/moment we can have our food somewhat well laid out before we inhale it… nicely done. Sorry about the camera whacking.. seriously! I did that in November right on Thanksgiving so no pretty pictures of the turkey that we made… sigh… I hope you get the camera fixed soon… otherwise, there’s a very sexy D300 that just made it to the market. And you know you want to go over to the dark side and use a Nikon
Just using my friend’s semi-expensive Kodak for the weekend made me nervous, especially since the lens cap fell off every time I put the camera inside its bag. I would have given myself hives if things actually came off it.
Ouch, sorry about the camera. Was little Nate looking for tp for his bunghole?
Sorry, I don’t have food porn room. I usually just take pics of the food on the stove, kitchen counter, or table. I’ve invested in one of those $3 foam boards though!
I tried clicking for larger images (cause I’m nosy like that), and though I have a flickr account, it still said your page/images are “private”…
Please tell me you didn’t e-mail this link to Jack Perkins.
Poor, grey geezer would probably have spooed at the idea of you in a Wonder Woman outfit.
I wish I had been married in a gold lame wedding dress – I wouldn’t need to use gold wrapping paper scraps!
I love the peek into your food porn room – very nice.
Man oh man, them’s a lot ‘o purty lights. Y’all must use up heaps ‘o ‘lectricity in that there porno room. An’ I gots to show the wife that there get up y’all had on. Wonder Woman? Ah shucks, now don’t that beat all?? does it come with all them whips ‘n boobs ‘n stuff??
Hahaha..i just moved to a new house last weekend and lots of stuff and boxes unpacked. I am sure mine beat yours. Hehe.
Wow! I wish I had a food porn room! I’m still a junior blogger so I take my pix on the fly and feebly try to fix them up in photoshop. I covet your lights. Sorry about the lens. Too sad!
Thanks for posting this. It is really helpful to see a nice photo setup. I have been wondering about lighting for a while now. Those “cool lights” look like they would really help. I will have to look for them.