I wrestled for quite a while on what to name this dish. Here were the options:

Chinatina

Chin-amigo

Asia-tino

Chinka-tino

Mexinese

Guapalicious Ding Dong Wing Wongs

In the end, Chino-Latino won. However, Guapalicious Ding Dong Wing Wongs came in a close second.

Ok. So take Chinese Hoisin BBQ Sauce (sweet, sticky, salty sauce made from soy, garlic, sugar and vinegar) + Chipotle Peppers in Adobo Sauce (smoked jalepenos in a spicy spicy chili concoction).
HEY HEY HEY.  Wait one stinkin’ moment here.…look below at the can. Did the company spell Chipotle wrong?!?!?  Did I totally get ripped off with a Chipotle knock-off?  NO WAY. We’re not talking about my $30 Guccie purse or $12 Louie Vuitton earrings or my $22 Channell belt.  We’re talking about sabotaging my Chino-Latino wings.

Chino-Latino Wings

prep time: 3 minutes; cook time 20 minutes

2 lbs chicken wings

sesame seeds

Marinade ingredients

2 Chipotle peppers + 1 tablespoon Adobo sauce (each can should have about 10 peppers inside…start with 2)

1/4 cup Hoisin sauce

1/4 cup water

2 tablespoons brown sugar

1/2 lime, squeezed

1 teaspoon minced garlic

2 teaspoons fresh grated ginger (use microplane grater)

Combine marinade ingredients in blender or food processor. Puree until thickened.  Taste.  If you want spicier, add another chili and another tablespoon of adobo.  Press down on wings to flatten as much a possible.  Marinate chicken wings for at least 1 hour.

Grill on BBQ Grill - 8-10 minutes each side. Note that I like to grill my wings whole.  If you separate the wing joints, shave off a minute of cooking time as there will be more surface contact with grill grates.

or you can

Bake at 425F for 30- 35 minutes or until done (cook time depends on size of your wings. I had big mama sized wings) Check for doneness by cutting into the thick part of the drumette.

Sprinkle with sesame seeds and serve.

Other recipes using Hoisin Sauce

Kalyn’s Stir Fried Bok Choy with Hoisin Sauce

Perfect Pantry’s Asparagus Wonton Wraps

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Guys and gals, I need your opinion again.  I have a new food column with an alternative weekly entertainment newspaper.

Boy, that suspiciously sounds like code for “porn magazine.”

Hmmm….let’s try again.

I’ll be writing for a KICK-ASS arts & entertainment paper called Creative Loafing…the one you pick up when you need to know what’s happening or where to eat in town.  It’s also the same publication that makes pubescent boys giggle uncontrollably at the trashy ads in the back.

Same type of paper as L.A. Weekly. Chicago Reader. Village Voice, New York Press, SF Weekly.  In fact, they just purchased Chicago Reader and Washington City Paper.

I’m supposed to submit a logo for “Jaden’s Steamy Kitchen” and a photo for the column. So I went to Simpsonize Me and came up with this:

(Ok you laugh, but let’s see yours)

Or I could do the whole “BAM!” thing…except I think I’d need to Chinkify it to Whhapppaaaachhhhaaa!!

(No, those are NOT my hairy arms. It’s an old photo of Emeril before he grew a third stomach)

But how about Giada?  She’s got nice boobs. I thought she needed a cleaver and the wok spatula though. Damn. I look like I just slaughtered a pig.

(Yes. this is her. Don’t believe me?)

But how about this - at the request of a friend, here is Molto Miz Steamy.  Although I think I need to modify the shoes - I would much rather have 4″ orange stilettos than clogs. Do you think I need to shave?

Then again, I could go the Rachel Ray route. I shoulda replaced the chocolate spoon with an Egg Roll or something)  Totally. Like gag me with EVOO.

(or I could use any of these assorted suggestive shots of Rachel)

So, what do you think guys? Really. An honest opinion, k? If you have another suggestion, let me know.  Because I really really care about projecting a good, innocent, wholesome brand image you know.

ummm…y’all know that I’m kidding about those photos, right?