Chino-Latino Wings

Chino Latino Wings

I wrestled for quite a while on what to name this dish. Here were the options:






Guapalicious Ding Dong Wing Wongs

In the end, Chino-Latino won. However, Guapalicious Ding Dong Wing Wongs came in a close second.

Ok. So take Chinese Hoisin BBQ Sauce (sweet, sticky, salty sauce made from soy, garlic, sugar and vinegar) + Chipotle Peppers in Adobo Sauce (smoked jalepenos in a spicy spicy chili concoction).
HEY HEY HEY.  Wait one stinkin’ moment here.…look below at the can. Did the company spell Chipotle wrong?!?!?  Did I totally get ripped off with a Chipotle knock-off?  NO WAY. We’re not talking about my $30 Guccie purse or $12 Louie Vuitton earrings or my $22 Channell belt.  We’re talking about sabotaging my Chino-Latino wings.

Chino-Latino Wings

Other recipes using Hoisin Sauce

Kalyn’s Stir Fried Bok Choy with Hoisin Sauce

Perfect Pantry’s Asparagus Wonton Wraps


Guys and gals, I need your opinion again.  I have a new food column with an alternative weekly entertainment newspaper.

Boy, that suspiciously sounds like code for “porn magazine.”

Hmmm….let’s try again.

I’ll be writing for a KICK-ASS arts & entertainment paper called Creative Loafing…the one you pick up when you need to know what’s happening or where to eat in town.  It’s also the same publication that makes pubescent boys giggle uncontrollably at the trashy ads in the back.

Same type of paper as L.A. Weekly. Chicago Reader. Village Voice, New York Press, SF Weekly.  In fact, they just purchased Chicago Reader and Washington City Paper.

I’m supposed to submit a logo for “Jaden’s Steamy Kitchen” and a photo for the column. So I went to Simpsonize Me and came up with this:

(Ok you laugh, but let’s see yours)

Or I could do the whole “BAM!” thing…except I think I’d need to Chinkify it to Whhapppaaaachhhhaaa!!

(No, those are NOT my hairy arms. It’s an old photo of Emeril before he grew a third stomach)

But how about Giada?  She’s got nice boobs. I thought she needed a cleaver and the wok spatula though. Damn. I look like I just slaughtered a pig.

(Yes. this is her. Don’t believe me?)

But how about this – at the request of a friend, here is Molto Miz Steamy.  Although I think I need to modify the shoes – I would much rather have 4″ orange stilettos than clogs. Do you think I need to shave?

Then again, I could go the Rachel Ray route. I shoulda replaced the chocolate spoon with an Egg Roll or something)  Totally. Like gag me with EVOO.

(or I could use any of these assorted suggestive shots of Rachel)

So, what do you think guys? Really. An honest opinion, k? If you have another suggestion, let me know.  Because I really really care about projecting a good, innocent, wholesome brand image you know.

ummm…y’all know that I’m kidding about those photos, right?


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Comments 64

  1. caitlyn

    I almost fell off my chair laughing! Those photos are hilarious!!! I was kinda surprised about the Giada photo — that one was my least favorite.
    On a different note — I used your roasted cauliflower recipe this week and it was awesome. Definitely a keeper — thanks!

  2. eliza

    i think you look sexy in R Ray’s outfit…maybe your body is like that? 😀 your blog is like a fresh air in the heat of the day…

  3. firex4icex

    1. Love the name – you had me at Latino

    2. Adobo – well as a lover of latin foods, latin woman and large user of adobo – two thumbs up my fine friend


    Thats it you had me there

    Oh and BTW the pic didnt hurt matter in the least.

    Damn that food looks great

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  5. frankly

    You scared me there for a minute! Here on the permafrost of the Minnesota tundra chino-latino is the name of of a gawd-forsaken trendy crap hole. They are oh so hip and edgy and fusion-laishish. Lots of on the make air head 20-somethings paying way too much to look ‘with it’ and the chance to bed a like-minded people.

    Your recipe on the other hand actually looks pretty good, I’ll give it a try – thanks!

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  7. Jon Szostak

    Can I assume that the last ingredient listed – the one that gets microplaned – is meant to be ginger rather than garlic? You listed garlic twice, and I know you like to microplane your ginger. Not trying to be picky. Just want to get the recipe right. Thanks!

  8. Charm

    Hey! This recipe looks like your Hoison-Honey Glazed Chicken wing recipe that I tried this week. (I found it on the new website you guys launched). Spectacular! If this one tastes anything like the HHG Chicken, then I’m all for it! Keep ’em comin’!

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