Size DOES Matter.

I’m not on the front page, thankfully. But I am in the food section!

This is my debut as a weekly columnist in the Tampa Tribune newspaper! I’ll be in there once a week with a “Steamy Kitchen” column.

Boy, is this ever awkward. I just wrote a “Dear John” letter in Tampa’s Creative Loafing, and I’m here at your doorstep already. Breakups are never easy to do, so I simply told truth: I’m leaving for someone more sophisticated, older and who has a larger masthead.

So what do I say to begin our relationship? Nice to meet you? Hope you like me? I don’t do ironing but I sure fry up a mean Pad Thai? Because you’re stuck with me for awhile, as I’m not the kind of gal that goes begging back to an old boyfriend. I’d rather be flogged with a snappy octopus tentacle than to have to endure the shame of saying, “I’m sorry. Take me back. Masthead size doesn’t really matter.”

Well, here we go. My name is Jaden, I’m the author of the dee-luscious SteamyKitchen.com food blog and an absolute raving lunatic, a.k.a. mother of 2 boys above the age of diapers but under the age of reasonable negotiation. I teach hands-on Asian cooking classes at The Rolling Pin in Brandon, Chef’s Table/MT’s in Sarasota and The Epicurean Culinary Academy in Los Angeles.

You might have seen me in the Trib last summer, where I danced across a 2-page spread in the food section or perhaps you heard me on Jeff Houck’s Table Conversations podcast where for some reason, my voice was warped insanely low. While Jeff sounded like the manly lumberjack in the Brawny paper towel commercial, I ended up like one of Marge Simpson’s chain-smoking sisters. That’s hot.

So, you can definitely say that I’m not your traditional food writer or chef, and terms like “foodie“ and “gourmand of refined taste” make me want to turn around and fake barf on your shoes. Like, gag me with a chopstick, do you really mean that you like eating food that tastes good?

Every week in my column, I’ll share with you a modern Asian recipe that’s fast, fresh and simple enough for tonight’s supper. Of course you also get a drool-worthy photo of the dish, because what good is writing a recipe if I can’t make you want to immediately drop that soggy cheeseburger, lick the ink off the newspaper or the pixels off the screen?

Oh yes, masthead size does matter.

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hmmmmm…berry berry suspicious…

Stripper	Food Pornographer
Lips: MAC Ruby Woo	Lips: Maybelline ShinyLicious
Makes $100K+ stripping & dancing	Would make about $10 in pity money if I ever tried pole dancing
House in Hawaii	Not
Travels the world getting plastic surgery with boyfriends money	Needs a boob job badly
Trying to extort money from rich Papa-san judge	I have an online stalker (oh yes I really do)

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The recipe for Fried Egg with Oyster Sauce and Chilies is here:

 Fried Egg with Oyster Sauce and Chilies