I wrestled for quite a while on what to name this dish. Here were the options:
Chinatina
Chin-amigo
Asia-tino
Chinka-tino
Mexinese
Guapalicious Ding Dong Wing Wongs
In the end, Chino-Latino won. However, Guapalicious Ding Dong Wing Wongs came in a close second.
Ok. So take Chinese Hoisin BBQ Sauce (sweet, sticky, salty sauce made from soy, garlic, sugar and vinegar) + Chipotle Peppers in Adobo Sauce (smoked jalepenos in a spicy spicy chili concoction).
HEY HEY HEY. Wait one stinkin’ moment here.…look below at the can. Did the company spell Chipotle wrong?!?!? Did I totally get ripped off with a Chipotle knock-off? NO WAY. We’re not talking about my $30 Guccie purse or $12 Louie Vuitton earrings or my $22 Channell belt. We’re talking about sabotaging my Chino-Latino wings.
Chino-Latino Wings
prep time: 3 minutes; cook time 20 minutes
2 lbs chicken wings
sesame seeds
Marinade ingredients
2 Chipotle peppers + 1 tablespoon Adobo sauce (each can should have about 10 peppers inside…start with 2)
1/4 cup Hoisin sauce
1/4 cup water
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1/2 lime, squeezed
1 teaspoon minced garlic
2 teaspoons fresh grated ginger (use microplane grater)
Combine marinade ingredients in blender or food processor. Puree until thickened. Taste. If you want spicier, add another chili and another tablespoon of adobo. Press down on wings to flatten as much a possible. Marinate chicken wings for at least 1 hour.
Grill on BBQ Grill - 8-10 minutes each side. Note that I like to grill my wings whole. If you separate the wing joints, shave off a minute of cooking time as there will be more surface contact with grill grates.
or you can
Bake at 425F for 30- 35 minutes or until done (cook time depends on size of your wings. I had big mama sized wings) Check for doneness by cutting into the thick part of the drumette.
Sprinkle with sesame seeds and serve.
Other recipes using Hoisin Sauce
Kalyn’s Stir Fried Bok Choy with Hoisin Sauce
Perfect Pantry’s Asparagus Wonton Wraps
================
Guys and gals, I need your opinion again. I have a new food column with an alternative weekly entertainment newspaper.
Boy, that suspiciously sounds like code for “porn magazine.”
Hmmm….let’s try again.
I’ll be writing for a KICK-ASS arts & entertainment paper called Creative Loafing…the one you pick up when you need to know what’s happening or where to eat in town. It’s also the same publication that makes pubescent boys giggle uncontrollably at the trashy ads in the back.
Same type of paper as L.A. Weekly. Chicago Reader. Village Voice, New York Press, SF Weekly. In fact, they just purchased Chicago Reader and Washington City Paper.
I’m supposed to submit a logo for “Jaden’s Steamy Kitchen” and a photo for the column. So I went to Simpsonize Me and came up with this:
(Ok you laugh, but let’s see yours)
Or I could do the whole “BAM!” thing…except I think I’d need to Chinkify it to Whhapppaaaachhhhaaa!!
(No, those are NOT my hairy arms. It’s an old photo of Emeril before he grew a third stomach)
But how about Giada? She’s got nice boobs. I thought she needed a cleaver and the wok spatula though. Damn. I look like I just slaughtered a pig.
(Yes. this is her. Don’t believe me?)
But how about this - at the request of a friend, here is Molto Miz Steamy. Although I think I need to modify the shoes - I would much rather have 4″ orange stilettos than clogs. Do you think I need to shave?
Then again, I could go the Rachel Ray route. I shoulda replaced the chocolate spoon with an Egg Roll or something) Totally. Like gag me with EVOO.
(or I could use any of these assorted suggestive shots of Rachel)
So, what do you think guys? Really. An honest opinion, k? If you have another suggestion, let me know. Because I really really care about projecting a good, innocent, wholesome brand image you know.
ummm…y’all know that I’m kidding about those photos, right?
August 10th, 2007 at 5:19 pm
I want Steamy just out of a steam-bath, in bikini (FHM-style), holding on to a cleaver(like Giada) and do the whole whhapacha (like Emeril) !!!
Tie up a ponytail (like Morimoto) or get a punkish cut (da REAL SIMPSON, mr. bart)!
Plus, choose to go barefooted (like Contessa) or wear orange crocs (like Mario).
Ding Dong meets Wing Wongs on the grill (like Bobby) and YO the way (like Paula).
It’s really wholesome (all the stars are in you)
August 10th, 2007 at 5:24 pm
Hi! Swanky blog. Love the writing style. Curiously, chino-latino is also a hot spot in Minneapolis for the urban hipsters to hang out at. Pretty decent food as well. Check it out the next time you’re in these parts. Just be sure to drive fast over our bridges! (just in case…)
August 10th, 2007 at 5:26 pm
Definitely not Giada…you look like a Lizzie Borden with those cleavers! I like you as Jabba the Hutt. That was funny.
August 10th, 2007 at 6:09 pm
FHM looks the best
August 10th, 2007 at 7:14 pm
You know what I think would be great, just to go totally against the whole “steamy” image and be funny about it at the same time? I believe it’s time for you to go the Etta May route … plus a dusting of flour …
August 10th, 2007 at 7:17 pm
Wow. Those are all … frightening. Except the Simpsons one. You’re having too much fun with Photoshop. How about a South Park version?
August 10th, 2007 at 8:08 pm
Those photos — hysterical!!! You make a great Emeril! I’ve never tried combining hoisin and chipotles, but I’ve got some chicken thighs in the freezer, and half a can of chipotles in the fridge…. I feel some grilling coming on. BAM!
August 10th, 2007 at 9:34 pm
Too funny: I saw the post on Tastespotting, and I thought “chino-latino!” Great minds obviously do think alike.
August 10th, 2007 at 9:46 pm
I thought the same thing about the chino-latino in Minneapolis when I saw those wings. They look really great!
August 10th, 2007 at 11:41 pm
You are toooo funny! Can’t wait to see what you decide upon (my guess is that you’ll surprise us with something witty & wonderful)
Love the wing recipe…
August 11th, 2007 at 12:15 am
Just stick with Chino since it’s the Spanish word for Chinese. Kill two birds with one stone.
BTW lady, I remember the last time you sent me that Rachel Ray-ish picture of you. Got sent straight to my spam folder!
August 11th, 2007 at 2:17 am
Excellent usage of the word “chink.”
August 11th, 2007 at 7:14 am
HA ha ha, Jaden, you make me laught it death! =))
August 11th, 2007 at 8:01 am
Those wings look droof-a-riffic! And I lved the pics of you… I would vote for the Emeril version, if it was a serious content.
B
http://handtomouthkitchen.wordpress.com
August 11th, 2007 at 10:26 am
Not too Chinese, a bit glam — that’s you, Mrs Steamy.
So please do a Martha Stewart with humour, figure and Asian savvy. For props (if you must) try a dark grey mortar and pestle, or a coconut and chopper. (Your pic at the top right is very nice.)
August 11th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
Yes, we know you’re kidding. Still it was good for a laugh. I think you are as cute as can be, just the way you are! Thanks for including my bok coy recipe too, must make that again sometime! (One of the pitfalls of food blogging, I seem to never cook the same thing twice.)
August 11th, 2007 at 12:35 pm
You could always just submit a photo of pork vagina.
August 11th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
I love the Whapppacha!
August 11th, 2007 at 1:11 pm
Oh my those wings look gorgeous….. yummy…. just the right taste I would have my done. The boys prefer the FHM brand image, look even gorgeous than the wings.
Big Boys Oven
August 11th, 2007 at 1:12 pm
Ugh! I love wings! ANY wings!!!
August 11th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
So funny! I don’t think you need to be anyone else because things seem to be working out quite well with Jaden as Jaden. Movie star good looks, amazing skills in the kitchen, and a wicked sense of humor. I’d tune it to Whappacha with Jaden!
August 11th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
ROFL….this is great stuff. I would have gone for the Wing Wongs…and how about a pic by the poolside in your bikini, cooking sausages in the BBQ grill??? ROFL…..
August 11th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Hey, Jaden! Love your blog. I’m getting to be a Jaden Junkie, now. So pathetic!
“Chilpotle” is probably the more correct way to spell it. It comes from “chile” and “poctli”. But the name gets butchered all the time. Chipolte is the most common misspelling I’ve seen.
I go through a lot of those things and I finally resorted to popping open a few cans and running them through my food processor. I keep them in a larger jar in the fridge for easy reuse.
I like this because I can predict the heat level a lot better.
Keep up the great writing, Jaden. Great stuff! (Really!)
Oh! And, I like the Gory Giada best! But, I might replace the carnage with a slain coconut and a couple of power tools from your ‘ubby in the background!
–Chip
August 11th, 2007 at 7:32 pm
Okay…you seriously could not be any funnier….you kill me!!
August 11th, 2007 at 9:49 pm
BAHAHAHAHAHHA.
Love it.
August 12th, 2007 at 12:18 am
“Guapalicious Ding Dong Wing Wongs?” Sold!
August 12th, 2007 at 6:57 am
I love your pics, Jaden, especially the Simpsonized one! It does actually resemble you some! And Guapalicios Wing Wong Ding Dongs is a really catchy name, I like it, too much I think! HA!HA!
August 12th, 2007 at 7:48 am
I love your “fusion” wings and they sound terrific. I definitely think you picked the right name!
August 12th, 2007 at 9:07 am
I love the name and I love the flavours. These sound absolutely brilliant.
August 12th, 2007 at 9:10 am
Even if you had horrible recipes (which you don’t) I would have to stop by just to get a great laugh!!! Love the name that you picked too!
August 12th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
I don’t care what you call those chicken wings, I’ll have them any day. They looks oh so finger-licking good. The pictures are too funny!
August 12th, 2007 at 4:20 pm
Oh, my vote was for Gupalicious Ding Dong Wing Wongs!
I lurvve chicki wings.
By the way, that smiling serial killer photoshopped pic is still giving me nightmares, Steamy.
August 12th, 2007 at 5:09 pm
Ok, here’s an idea for your logo/picture for your new column:
How about a picture of you from behind a kitchen window, you’re holding a hot steaming dish of something, and this hot steaming dish is fogging up said kitchen window. Then, written in the steam of the window, it says “Steamy Kitchen”.
I’m not sure how easy that would be to photograph, but maybe some photoshopping would work too. And depending on how much you wanted to, ahem, “chinkify” everything, you could be holding a hot wok, a bowl of hot noodles, or [insert hot asian food here].
What do you think?
August 13th, 2007 at 2:41 am
Hi Jaden,
I´m back from holiday, just one week at the spanish island of Mallorca, and I have soo much fun with your photos. Chapeau,
very clever sense of humor!
Greetings from Germany,
Martin “BerlinKitchen”
August 13th, 2007 at 5:49 am
Jaden, somehow Chino-latino sounds pretty natural to me
The wings sound wonderful, the next time the weather becomes suitable for bbqs I will definitely give this ago.
Re: photos, the fhm thing is just doesn’t cut it for me but I spy a photo of you in your flickr widget that looks like it’s perfect for the column.
August 13th, 2007 at 7:10 am
what a yummy wings, luv all those pics hehehe…
August 13th, 2007 at 10:11 am
I have that same brand of chipotle peppers and yes! it’s misspelled on my can as well. (Though honestly, I never noticed until you pointed it out.) Methinks a canned-chile conspiracy indeed!
August 13th, 2007 at 2:01 pm
the wings look awesome!
maybe you should slather yourself in butter, tan on the roof, and take a shot like this one of kramer:
August 13th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
boo - my photo didn’t post (http://www.deanesmay.com/files/Turkey.jpg)
August 13th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
Chino latino definitely has a nice ring to it. All of those pictures were hilarious but the photo of you in flickr and the about me is perfect already.
August 13th, 2007 at 11:59 pm
ha, ha! i liked ‘guadalupicious ding dong wing wongs’ best, but it’s too hard to say when your mouth is full of yummy wings! we have one of those publications too, ours is called ‘the stranger’, so it sounds funny when i tell my daughter, “i picked up a stranger on the way home!” it always has the best fun stuff to do on the weekend though!
August 14th, 2007 at 8:00 am
Hey guys,
I think I should make a general rule about posting. Take my antishitzo medication before hitting the POST button.
Oh I’m just KIDDING!
xoxo
j
August 14th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
hey jaden your new blog is no longer on food blog desam can you rerequest so i can see you on my fbd blogroll?
http://mathy.kandasamy.net/virundhu/food_blog_desam/index.php
i like you as the simpson persona r. ray scares me.
wings look yum!
August 14th, 2007 at 5:38 pm
What a beautiful presentation and funny too!
August 15th, 2007 at 9:53 am
LOL! You continue to amuse us while whipping up delicious recipes. I like the picture on the upper right corner best.
August 15th, 2007 at 11:20 am
Hahahaha! You had me at Whapppacha!!! This has got to be the funniest thing I read all day!
Hahaha! OMG…I think I’m going to be Whapppacha-ing for a couple of days…that was too funny!
August 15th, 2007 at 7:29 pm
The chipotle in adobe and Hoisin sauce marinade sounds really good.
August 15th, 2007 at 11:13 pm
I definitely liked the Whappachaaa! Also, Yahoo has a fun avatar program - you can download the avatar when you are done - https://login.yahoo.com/config/login_verify2?.intl=us&.src=avt&.done=http%3A%2F%2Favatars.yahoo.com%2F
August 16th, 2007 at 10:47 am
Looks really yummy!!
August 16th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
I almost fell off my chair laughing! Those photos are hilarious!!! I was kinda surprised about the Giada photo — that one was my least favorite.
On a different note — I used your roasted cauliflower recipe this week and it was awesome. Definitely a keeper — thanks!
August 16th, 2007 at 10:36 pm
Whhhhapcchaaa made me almost pee my pants. You are too much
August 17th, 2007 at 10:16 am
har! YOU are HYSTERICAL.
And how the hell could they spell chipotle wrong?
xoxo
August 17th, 2007 at 5:43 pm
i think you look sexy in R Ray’s outfit…maybe your body is like that?
your blog is like a fresh air in the heat of the day…
August 18th, 2007 at 6:30 pm
Congratulations on the new gig!
I want me some Ding Dong Wing Wongs! How ’bout a game of ping pong?
August 19th, 2007 at 7:25 am
Hey Jaden, where are you dear?? Havent seen you posting in a while! Hope all fine!
August 22nd, 2007 at 11:46 am
1. Love the name - you had me at Latino
2. Adobo - well as a lover of latin foods, latin woman and large user of adobo - two thumbs up my fine friend
Ummm
Thats it you had me there
Oh and BTW the pic didnt hurt matter in the least.
Damn that food looks great
September 15th, 2007 at 5:23 pm
You scared me there for a minute! Here on the permafrost of the Minnesota tundra chino-latino is the name of of a gawd-forsaken trendy crap hole. They are oh so hip and edgy and fusion-laishish. Lots of on the make air head 20-somethings paying way too much to look ‘with it’ and the chance to bed a like-minded people.
Your recipe on the other hand actually looks pretty good, I’ll give it a try - thanks!
December 3rd, 2007 at 6:10 pm
Can I assume that the last ingredient listed - the one that gets microplaned - is meant to be ginger rather than garlic? You listed garlic twice, and I know you like to microplane your ginger. Not trying to be picky. Just want to get the recipe right. Thanks!