But first….a little laugh…

As I mentioned in my last post, our house is usually stocked with good, wholesome breakfast foods. Because running around the playground and singing, "Itsy Bitsy Spider" requires quite a bit of energy. A good breakfast is essential to becoming the superstar student, outrunning the bullies and beating up the rugrats.

We always have mini whole wheat bagels by Pepperidge Farms at the house. Usually, the kids love a bit of cream cheese and some fruit to top.

This particular morning a few months ago, Andrew asked for the the bagel, plain. He just wanted to eat it as-is, whole. As I handed him a warmed mini-bagel, this little 4-year old wiggle-master examined the bagel.

        Looked at it from the front. 
        Looked at it from the back.
        Curiously peeked throught the hole.

and then proudly proclaimed to me,
"LOOK MA MA!!!  I’m gonna eat a BUTT-HOLE!!!"

Smart-ass

So deviant, yet right-on.

But…concerning to me…how does he know what a butt-hole looks like?!? It’s not like we randomly run into butt-holes in his nursery rhyme books, Disney channel or at the park.

Oh. But wait. He must have remembered the time we walked by a construction zone and 2 workers snickered lewd things to me in Spanish. That’s when covered Andrew’s ears and I shot back with, "!@#! off and go shove your hammer up your asscrack." And I think he did.

BTW, don’t judge my parenting skills based on his uncoordinated pajama set. He dressed himself.

***

What Shall I Cook on TV in 2 Weeks?

Ok, on to the fun part of this post. As you know, I showed my face to the world on television last month, cooking live on our local ABC station. My next performance is October 9th. I’d love to promote the world of food blogging, so I’ve decided to cook a dish from one of you!! Will you help me choose?

Voting on the next page!

Read the full story

These past few days, I needed to cook healthy. Not for me, but for the sake of my children. You see, last week, I had Lasik eye surgery. As any reasonable mother would do, I milked it as far as I could go in terms of slacking on my housewifery duties. Laundry? bah..eyes too dry. Ironing? doc said no heavy lifting. Dishes? need to lay down to put in drops every 2 hours. Vacuuming? nope…can’t see squat after squirting in drops. Best to just sleep in every morning and let Scott handle the kids. It took 3 days before the kids confessed me what they’ve been eating for breakfast….

Read the full story

I from my food column in Creative Loafing

Co-Co Fro-Yo, Baby

About once every few months, I get an undeniable compulsion to fill my lungs with thick, gritty smog, sit in a three-hour traffic bottleneck and stuff my face with an In-N-Out Double-Double burger. Fifteen years of living in Los Angeles and I just can’t let go! I hate it so much that I love it — like flossing my teeth, the aftertaste of Tequila or certain family members. L.A. is my drug, and I must return to get my fix.

A few months ago I flew back to the City of Angels and immediately noticed that every third person had a blissful, dreamy look while moving a plastic spoon rhythmically from Styrofoam cup to Botox’d lips. It was as if someone had staged a hostile takeover of caffeinated beverages and replaced them with … fro-yo. Huh?! I hated the stuff the first time it came around in the ’80s, so WTF, was frozen yogurt coming back? It was only last week that I saw a Geico commercial featuring Cabbage Patch Kids and a YouTube clip showing Philippine prisoners performing Michael Jackson’s Thriller as part of their rehabilitation program. But fro-yo? Like, gag me with a spoon. For the first time, I felt the umbilical cord of L.A. snag, as if the city was finally getting back at me for choosing to live in the Sunshine State.

Despite all this, I asked my brother to take me to a Pinkberry, the company that started the Frozen Yogurt 2.0 craze a couple of years ago. What was behind the phenomenon that had copycats such as Red Mango, Iceberry and Kiwiberry popping up like prairie weasels? What kind of frozen concoction could start a war so heated chilled that cameras were banned in the shops for fear of corporate espionage?

I had to find out.

A half-hour wait in line and one parking ticket later, I had a $7 cup-o’-fro-yo in hand. It was tart and tangy with a clean, crisp sensation — nothing at all like its airy, tasteless predecessor. Crackberry describes itself as “soft swirls of chilly bliss with a distinct pouty peak.” They forget to mention the free spoon-pipe you get with every purchase. The craze hasn’t wound its way down to us in Florida yet — it’s currently blanketing Chicago, Las Vegas and New York — but don’t worry, I’ve got you covered: Here’s a recipe that tastes just like Pinkberry’s famous frozen yogurt. Try it for yourself and you might just get smitten by fro-yo, all over again.

Recipe is adapted from Perfect Scoop <–which by the way is written by fellow food blogger David. If you’ve never visited his website before..then…. STOP. Collaborate and Listen. Go visit D’s blog for a brand new sensation… Ice Ice Fro-Yo Baby. Fro-Yo Baby…. sorry. I couldn’t help it. I’m still stuck on the 80’s thing….

Coconut Frozen Yogurt with Tropical Fruit

6 cups of low-fat/whole plain flavored yogurt to yield 3 cups, strained (see below) or 3 cups Greek-style yogurt
3/4 cup sugar
1 tsp coconut extract
1/2 cup sweetened coconut flakes
mixed tropical fruit (mango, kiwi, papaya, etc.)
Ice cream maker (remember to freeze your insert if you have one)

1. Strain the yogurt: If you are using regular yogurt, you’ll need to strain out the water. Line your mesh strainer with a double-layer of cheesecloth. Spoon the yogurt in, and let it sit propped over a deep bowl in the refrigerator for at least four hours. Discard the water. If you are using Greek-style yogurt (like Fage — found at Whole Foods), you don’t need to strain.

2. Mix and rest: Mix the strained yogurt with the sugar and coconut extract. Let it chill in the refrigerator for one hour to let the sugar dissolve.

3. Churn, baby, churn: Following instructions that came with your ice cream maker, churn until the mixture is the consistency of soft ice cream. 4. Toast coconut and dice fruit: While the fro-yo is churning, toast coconut. Take a dry skillet. Set on medium heat and add the coconut flakes. Stir constantly until flakes toast to a golden brown. Remove from heat immediately, and set aside. To serve, sprinkle the toasted coconut and spoon the diced tropical fruit on top of your frozen concoction.

After a month, I FINALLY got this dang video up! It’s my first time cooking LIVE on television - ABC morning news.

Read the full story

I’m addicted to Dukkah. It’s a funny name, no?  Dukkah is an Egyptian spice mixture made of roasted, coarsely ground nuts (hazelnuts, almonds or pistachios) and fragrant spices (coriander, sesame seeds, cumin, chili pepper, etc.)

Different variations of this mixture is found all over the Middle East and North Africa.  While I’m not an expert in their foods, I have a feeling that each family has their own signature concoction of Dukkah, varying in the type of spices or nuts used. I was introduced to this aromatic condiment by my good friend and amazingly talented Chef Jeremy of Cork Restaurant in Sarasota. BTW, if you haven’t been to Cork - it is the best new restaurant in town and you simply must go. Chef Mac & Jeremy perform magic and go to the utmost extreme to make sure you have an amazing meal.

Jeremy generously gave me a huge canister of the spice mixture.I begged, bribed and pleaded for the recipe, but no recipe. So I simply asked his lovely wife Jules to nag the crap out of him until he released his secret. It worked. And I’m sharing it with you. By the way, Jules is a professional opera singer. One of her past gigs was playing Maria (Julie Andrews) in the National Tour of Sound of Music.  Let me just take a moment to tell you how frickin’ talented this woman is. I had her over at my house when Sound of Music was playing on TV - and HOLY WHISKERS ON KITTENS! it was like having Maria herself sitting next to me on the couch singing!.

Ok. back to Dukkah.

I’ve installed another new feature on the blog, called Smell-a-Blog. Just put your nose really close to the screen and sniff. It will instantly transport you on a spice trail to Egypt. Don’t worry about looking stupid…nobody’s watching. I promise…just breathe it in:

Jeremy’s Egyptian Dukkah Blend

Take a piece of pita, naan or bread, dip in beautiful olive oil and then touch the nut/spice mixture.

By the way, this is a Baby No Knead Wheat Bread with 1/2c whole wheat + 2 1/2c bread flour. After its little nap, I divided the dough in half. One part was wrapped and frozen, the other was baked for 25 minutes covered, 12 minutes uncovered.

***

I’m not the only one who smokes eats Dukkah!

Stonesoup

Fresh Catering

Grab Your Fork

Smitten Kitchen

101 Cookbooks

Real Baking with Rose

***

The Surgery Went Exceptionally Well…..

I can finally see!  Today’s post-op checkup was A-OK and I now have 20/20 vision.

More details, you ask?

Ok. I’m only going to warn you ONCE. If you’ve got shitty eyes and are thinking about Lasik surgery. DO NOT READ ON. Go suck on a lollipop or something but don’t read any further.

DUUUDE. I told you not to read on. Second warning, ok? If you are as blind as Britney Spears’ wardrobe designer, then just RUN. GO AWAY. GO SKIN A DONKEY. RECITE THE ALPHABET. BACKWARDS. WHILE SKYDIVING.

DO NOT CLICK ANYWHERE. THERE IS NO NEXT PAGE.

(pssst…all you 20/20 guys…click here)

Read the full story