I scootched over to my friend, Sue Ann’s blog, noticed that she had a badge on her site, proudly proclaiming that her blog’s reading level is College Post-Grad level. Curious, I went to see what reading level Steamy Kitchen is, because I am a supporter of education and higher learning.
Crap. Must be because I used the words 
“HAIRY TWAT” once in a post.
Note: Up until about 4 minutes ago, my blog was at ELEMENTARY SCHOOL level. I added the words, “BUTT-HEAD” to this post and was immediately raised to JUNIOR HIGH level! WOOHOO!!!
I want to hear what your blog’s reading level is!
The great thing about cookbooks is that you can thumb through the pages and mix ‘n match recipes. This Crab and Apple Salad with Thai Dressing is a combination of 2 different recipes in my friend Jennifer’s new 
Crab cookbook. The crisp, sweet Fuji apples (or you could substitute with Granny Smith) and crab meat are perfect with an Asian-inspired dressing with a bit of sliced hot chilies from my garden. This has become one of my favorite salads - so easy to prepare and very impressive for the table.
This is a packed little cookbook - featuring how to buy, cook and crack crabs. Here is a recipe list:
Soups: Crab Gazpacho, Cioppino, Crab Chowder, Crab Bisque, Hot and Sour Crab Soup
Salads: Crab Louis, Foggy Wharf Salad, Crab & Fuji Apple Salad, Thai-Style Soft Shell Crab Salad, Octopus, Crab & Baby Red Potato Salad
Small Plates: Spicy Crab Shooters, Crab Pizza, Crab Rockefeller, Chile-Glazed Crab Lollipops, Smoked Salmon, Crab & Avocado Bruschetta, Crab Brandade, Fisherman’s Wharf Crab Cakes, Sizzling Crab, Mussels & Shrimp, Crab-Mango Wontons, Crab-Corn Souffle, Crab Beignets,
Large Plates: Crab & Cheedar Frittat, Crab Benedict, Open-Faced Crab Melt, Crab Pasta Carbonara, Crab Fettuccine All’Amatriciana, Pappardelle Al Sugo De Cranchio, Crab Butternut Squash & Asiago Risotto, Crab Quesadillas, Garlic Roasted Dungeness Killer Crab, SF Style Surf n Turf, Drunken Crab on Seaweed Noodles
Crab and Fuji Apple Salad with Thai Dressing
adapted from Crab cookbook by Jennifer Jeffrey and Andrea Froncillo
serves 4-6 as first course
8 ounces fresh crabmeat (I used snow crab)
1 large Fuji apple, cored, julienned and tossed with a squeeze of fresh lime juice
4-6 cups mixed baby greens
sea salt
freshly ground black pepper
2 tbl julienned fresh mint
Thai-Style Salad Dressing
3 tbl rice vinegar
2 tbl fish sauce
1 tbl sugar
1/4 tsp finely minced chili (leave seeds in if you like it hot)
juice of 1/2 lime
Prepare the dressing by combining ingredients and whisking. In a small bowl, combine crabmeat and apple and toss lightly with just a sprinkle of sea salt and fresh ground pepper. Assemble plates by layering baby greens, a mound of crab/apple mixture. Top with fresh mint and freshly ground black pepper. Use a teaspoon to drizzle salad dressing onto the salad. Be careful not to use too much - you should have some dressing left over.
***
The Winners!
Okay! Ready? Here are the 5 winners of the Crab Cookbook contest!! Each of you will get a signed copy of Andrea Froncillo (Executive Chef of the famous Stinking Rose restaurants) and Jennifer Jeffrey. Email me at jaden (at) steamykitchen (dot) com with your full name, address and who you’d like the cookbook dedicated to.
Winner #1 is: Rich G of SimpleRich who has brain pan issues (what IS a brain pan???)
My favorite way to have crab is in my Mom’s Gumbo. She uses what she calls the crab fingers. I’ve never seen them in a store that way. It looks like the end of the claw though, and the pincer is ready to puncture your brain pan if you’re not careful while eating it. But the shell and all goes in the gumbo and it gives it a really great flavor.
*
Winner #2 is: Ulterior Epicure who has a simple dip for steamed crabs that I’d love to use for steamed shrimp too
This is a no-brainer: steamed crabs, cracked and dipped in a mix of soy sauce, white vinegar, sugar, garlic, and ginger.
*
Winner #3 is: Single Guy Chef with words of encouragement for my HTML skills
Sorry to hear about the computer problems. That’s never fun. At least you can drown your sorrows with that great shrimp dish (but hey, they’re big enough to call prawns). Hope to see the new site soon! Don’t give up!
*
Winner #4 is: Lane who kissed my ass to win (just kidding!)
Crab!
A-way up here in Oregon we go for the big sweet Dungeness Crabs.
My favorite way of cooking them is to take the cooked crab, break up the shell into legs, body and claws and saute all the parts together with butter, Old Bay seasoning and a bit of pepper. We all sit at the table and make a big ol’ mess sucking crab from the shells. Yum.Jaden, I’ve loved seeing your blog grow over the past months. It’s great to read an authentic voice talking about great food. Hope to see you over in this corner of the world one of these days.
Best,
Lane
*
Winner #5 is: Kevin who is a crab virgin
Those shrimp look so good and they are so big! You know I do not think I have ever had crab. Come to think of it I tried lobster once when I was young and I have not had it since. I will have to add both crab and lobster to my to try list!
I vote for sending Kevin a web cam. We can all watch him lose his virginity live on his blog.
***
If I don’t see y’all before Tuesday, have a very Merry Christmas!!!!
December 21st, 2007 at 7:22 pm
Pretty certain I didn’t become conversant with the phrase, “hairy twat” until at least high school. You wuz robbed! For the record, I “attended” graduate school.
December 21st, 2007 at 7:24 pm
Dang.. I forgot to add my food comment. Every Christmas my sister sends me a basket filled with H&D pears. I’m always looking for new ways to get rid of them, and this sounds like just the ticket!
December 21st, 2007 at 7:48 pm
WOO HOO!!!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! After the week I’ve had this is an excellent end to it! I can’t wait to start making the stuff in it.
I’d like to thank the acadamy! HEY! HEY! Who turned off the microphone! I wasn’t finished yet. *music swells as I’m dragged off stage*
December 21st, 2007 at 8:19 pm
Congrats to winners!
This thing is cool , wonder how they decipher the blog readibility. I got Genius Level! I dont even know if I shud be happy or sad abt it!!!!!
December 21st, 2007 at 8:34 pm
See, no, you’re looking at that reading level thing the wrong way.. elementary level means that you are a very accessible writer, for all people.
December 21st, 2007 at 8:54 pm
Hey girl, if I can have salad like the one you’ve made here, everyday, I’d look good losing weight but since I can’t, oh well…
My reading level said College (post grad) - why do I always have to be in the serious camp?!
December 21st, 2007 at 9:23 pm
Apparently, you need to be a genius in order to read my blog. No wonder there are few.
December 21st, 2007 at 9:33 pm
this salad sounds wonderful, love fuji apples! congrats to all the winners!
December 21st, 2007 at 9:39 pm
Elementary is good…and think of how many more readers that means can enjoy your blog!
December 21st, 2007 at 9:42 pm
The photo made me drool…never would have thought about crab + apples. Crabapples, yeah, but not crab + apples!
Congrats to the winners!
Gwen
December 21st, 2007 at 9:59 pm
Wow… that was enlightening.
My husband has two blogs.. both are genius reading level! (at least I can easily read them, that says something good about me, doesn’t it?)
My blogs range from Jr. High school to College Post Grad. I’m all over the place!
I think simple words are better, more accessible to more people.
I have no idea how that site works, but I don’t see your blog as elementary school writing. That doesn’t make sense!
That crab and Fuji apple salad looks delicious! Fuji apples are the absolute best!
December 21st, 2007 at 10:47 pm
Well, my blog has been junior high to high school… BTW I thought your coconut blog post was genius… absolutely imaginative way to describe a coconut!!!!
I’ll have to try this salad, sounds absolutely delish, and something that I could actually make!
December 21st, 2007 at 11:22 pm
hehe, i think i had an elementary level too. definitely no college post-grad level
December 22nd, 2007 at 12:43 am
Huh, huh, huh… Butthead… huh, huh, huh… cool. You said, “Butt.”
Most of my blogs are kindergarten level.
December 22nd, 2007 at 3:31 am
mine was elementary school level as well. Either that means I’m writing in simple english or my years of grad sch has no impact on my writing skills! LOL
congrats to the winners!!!
and the salad? perfect for a 38C Christmas day in Perth!!!
December 22nd, 2007 at 4:03 am
What!!!…I didnt’ win???…is it because I said I dont’ have the crab in my dish!!!…thats mean Jaden!…I still would’ve liked to have that bookk….bhohohoooooo
December 22nd, 2007 at 4:42 am
I got ‘elementary level’. I guess my French comes across as gobbledy-gook to them (as it does to the French).
Either that, or I’m not using the sophisticated, upscale words that you are, Jaden! ; )
Happy Holidays xo dl
December 22nd, 2007 at 10:07 am
I was traveling at high-speed up I-95 when I read this entry on your website (Don’t try this at home kids, I’m a professional…)
Nearly had to slow down to 80 or so, I was laughing so hard…
Readability level over at Listen2unclejay.com?
Junior High. Damn.
I guess it couldn’t see the “Fuck a fish chin” entry.
That would have at least put me up in the Grad School level…
And a couple cryptic comments to confuse other readers…
I repeat- Duck Gizzards & Merlot!?
Wow.
And even after your oh-so-lyrical suggestion, they are refusing to rename the park. The Department of the Interior frowns on the use of the word “tittyfest” in the name of a National Park.
(Hmmm. Is “Tittyfest” even a word? If it’s not, it should be.)
And thanks for keeping me awake the other night. Heh.
TBG
December 22nd, 2007 at 10:59 am
Jaden, this salad looks interesting. I will admit, it’ll probably be too sweet for me, but my wife’s family would probably like it! Now, if I could just get past her mom’s seafood allergy :\
Oh, and I rated “Elementary School.” Of course, I try to keep thinks “G-rated,” so no “hairy twats” or “butt-heads” allowed
December 22nd, 2007 at 11:20 am
This salad sounds goooooood!
December 22nd, 2007 at 11:21 am
Oh, btw…i’m college undergrad! WooHoo!
December 22nd, 2007 at 11:55 am
Dang, you have been on a roll with salads :). Thanks though, I need the slap of salads after all the greasy food I ate in India.
I rated college (postgrad) for both my blogs. Who gives a college reading rating for a recipe blog. All I have there is Ingredients… dhuhhh
December 22nd, 2007 at 1:05 pm
OMG the last two recipes have been especially tempting. As soon as my newborn becomes a little less clingy and I can start cooking again (instead of just microwaving), I’m going to be in the tough position of figuring out which one to try first.
Bummer about not winning a cookbook, what you are such a sweetie to e-mail thanking me for the comment!
December 22nd, 2007 at 1:10 pm
My blog’s reading level is College (postgrad), a bit of a surprise. I think it must in part be because I occasionally quote medical findings using the original (medical) terminology.
December 22nd, 2007 at 1:52 pm
you are a riot to read..any time i can even get a grunt out of mouth which might sound like a laugh the I consider that a great writer….i laugh at u all the time…i think we share the same sense of humour and as far as i am concerned it is good to read a site that is junior high level cause it gives us a chance to spend a moment without any stresses and hey…who doesn’t wish they can relive high school?
December 22nd, 2007 at 1:54 pm
sorry i have no website unless it’s facebook! so delete my ‘line’ please…..
December 22nd, 2007 at 3:01 pm
Hey,
I did the blog readability test about a month ago and my regular blog came up at “genius level” http://ruthebabes.blogspot.com/2007/11/nablopomo-13.html
Just did it on my cooking blog and got “college (postgrad)
Ruth E
December 22nd, 2007 at 8:03 pm
Great looking salad!
December 23rd, 2007 at 1:35 am
Beautiful pix. Great food porn! Merry Christmas! PS - I fixed my blog so you can stop by and leave me a comment (I hope) if you want!
December 23rd, 2007 at 1:52 am
THIS WAS A GREAT SALAD! THE DRESSING IS SOOO EASY WITH INGREDIENTS I ALWAYS HAVE IN MY PANTRY! I DID GRATE A LITTLE FRESH GINGER INTO IT…YUMMY! SO WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO BE ON THE FOOD CHANNEL?
December 23rd, 2007 at 2:09 am
Mine says College Level (under grad)??!!! Is this good or bad
December 23rd, 2007 at 8:38 am
… psst … j, I think what I just posted landed in yer Spambot!
December 23rd, 2007 at 10:17 am
And then … commenting on your comment on my own blog, I landed in my own spam!
December 23rd, 2007 at 1:33 pm
It means your words are hip and to the moment, Mrs Steamy. Mine is ‘college (postgrad)’ - probably coz I threw in made-up words (like ‘fiddle faddle’), nonsensical phrases (Faustian fowl) and Malaysianised words like Chan-mali-chan Roti Canai!
December 23rd, 2007 at 2:05 pm
This salad looks great!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and family!
December 23rd, 2007 at 6:14 pm
That salad looks refreshing. And my blog’s reading level is high school. I kind of like that. I want my blog to be accessible to a lot of people. Plus, I was kind of popular in high school. Ha!
December 23rd, 2007 at 11:01 pm
thats a really refreshing and yum yum crunchy and flavour packed salad, i’m sure it’ll be a instant hit on my table.
Wish You n your family a Merry Christmas , and a Happy New Year.
December 24th, 2007 at 12:37 am
Happy Holidays to you and your family. May 2008 bring a plethora of html skills to your r’epertoire! (It looks like you’re doing OK though - your blogs looks great!)
December 24th, 2007 at 1:39 am
Heh. Mine is college undergrad level. My blog is smarter than your blog. Nyah. Nyah. Nyah.
December 24th, 2007 at 2:51 am
Another beautiful creation from you!
Here’s wishing you and your lovely family a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
December 24th, 2007 at 2:52 am
Yet another beautiful creation from you!
Here’s wishing you and your lovely family a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
December 24th, 2007 at 3:15 am
Jaden- You will most likely get a better result if you enter you feed address. I read that it gives a more accurate score. Also try this site:
http://juicystudio.com/services/readability.php#readintro
This gives a much more detailed readability analysis.
Happy Holidays!
December 24th, 2007 at 3:46 am
Merry Christmas Jaden and have a jolly New Year!!! from us Sunny & Sid
December 24th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
opps! put another one on the elementary list. But — if I can be in the same “class” as David Lebovitz I’m happy. Remember, everything you need to know you learned in kindergarten…
Junior high? It must be the food porn that did it. (Get that double entendre? that’s what jr high is all about; and notice no one’s saying middle school!)
Thanks for a fabulous year of food.
December 25th, 2007 at 2:39 am
Hi Jaden,
I’m a High School English teacher and have been teaching English (to Grade 12’s and gifted kids too) for quite a few years (too many to admit to) and my blog rated High School level. Go figure. I’ve read enough essays and good literature in my lifetime to comfortably say that “readability” (comprehension) has nothing to do with how verbose you are. This rating site obviously just searches vocabulary. It can’t detect sarcasm, the use of literary devices and other such techniques like critical thinking and humour that are all important in pulling in an audience. It can’t make sense of how engaging a blog or website is nor can it sense an excellent writer because I’ve checked out some Genius Sites that aren’t too well-written at all (sorry! no offense to everyone who has a Genius Site!) I love your blog because it has a strong sense of “voice”. Your personality shines through and you are oh so engaging
December 25th, 2007 at 6:32 am
The salad sounds fantastic, though I have to admit that you had me from the word ‘fuji’, they’re my absolute FAVOURITE apples!
December 26th, 2007 at 3:25 am
Thanks Jaden! I never win anything so I just skipped over that section of the winners! Too funny huh? I wonder how many other prizes I’ve won in life and just never was present to redeem! Ha! Thanks so much! What a nice Christmas surprise!
December 26th, 2007 at 3:11 pm
Hmm.
Apparently I’m a genius. Clearly random drivel and chronic overuse of ellipses don’t detract from one’s rating…
Congrats to the winners, and the salad looks fantastic! All weekend I’ve been eating what I should by all rights have put as my favorite “crab” dish - crab rangoon. Three cheers for takeout chinese!
December 26th, 2007 at 6:00 pm
Mine didn’t look anything as good as yours, but the taste was GREAT! It added a wonderful flavour to my parent’s Christmas dinner!
Thanks Jaden!
December 26th, 2007 at 9:28 pm
my blog is elementary-school level too! so much for my 20 years of education… the crab and apple salad looks crunchy and delicious!
December 27th, 2007 at 9:57 am
I come here to see a nice recipe based on an appetizing photo, but instead find filthy, nasty language on a blog that’s supposed to be about food? I went from intrigued to disgusted in the first two paragraphs.
I’d better leave this gross site before the sound snippets from Dumb and Dumber start.
December 27th, 2007 at 10:08 am
Dear Too Nasty - didn’t you see the JUNIOR HIGH reading level badge? And there is SO much more I’d love to say…but…I think I’ll just CNRL-ALT-DEL your forehead from afar.
December 29th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
Hey Jaden, You obviously know good taste when you see it - I just entered VisualStreak.com into the Blog Readability test and it (for some reason) came up “Genius”!
January 3rd, 2008 at 5:19 pm
That’s a beautiful salad Jaden! And thanks for telling us all about the Blog Readability Test - it’s hilarious, as are you!
January 3rd, 2008 at 6:42 pm
My food blog is Junior High level
My personal blog is elementary school level…cuz I likes to keep it realz.
You know…because that is probably my emotional maturity level as well