I’m not on the front page, thankfully. But I am in the food section!
This is my debut as a weekly columnist in the Tampa Tribune newspaper! I’ll be in there once a week with a “Steamy Kitchen” column.
Boy, is this ever awkward. I just wrote a “Dear John” letter in Tampa’s Creative Loafing, and I’m here at your doorstep already. Breakups are never easy to do, so I simply told truth: I’m leaving for someone more sophisticated, older and who has a larger masthead.
So what do I say to begin our relationship? Nice to meet you? Hope you like me? I don’t do ironing but I sure fry up a mean Pad Thai? Because you’re stuck with me for awhile, as I’m not the kind of gal that goes begging back to an old boyfriend. I’d rather be flogged with a snappy octopus tentacle than to have to endure the shame of saying, “I’m sorry. Take me back. Masthead size doesn’t really matter.”
Well, here we go. My name is Jaden, I’m the author of the dee-luscious SteamyKitchen.com food blog and an absolute raving lunatic, a.k.a. mother of 2 boys above the age of diapers but under the age of reasonable negotiation. I teach hands-on Asian cooking classes at The Rolling Pin in Brandon, Chef’s Table/MT’s in Sarasota and The Epicurean Culinary Academy in Los Angeles.
You might have seen me in the Trib last summer, where I danced across a 2-page spread in the food section or perhaps you heard me on Jeff Houck’s Table Conversations podcast where for some reason, my voice was warped insanely low. While Jeff sounded like the manly lumberjack in the Brawny paper towel commercial, I ended up like one of Marge Simpson’s chain-smoking sisters. That’s hot.
So, you can definitely say that I’m not your traditional food writer or chef, and terms like “foodie“ and “gourmand of refined taste” make me want to turn around and fake barf on your shoes. Like, gag me with a chopstick, do you really mean that you like eating food that tastes good?
Every week in my column, I’ll share with you a modern Asian recipe that’s fast, fresh and simple enough for tonight’s supper. Of course you also get a drool-worthy photo of the dish, because what good is writing a recipe if I can’t make you want to immediately drop that soggy cheeseburger, lick the ink off the newspaper or the pixels off the screen?
Oh yes, masthead size does matter.
***
hmmmmm…berry berry suspicious…
 |
 |
| Stripper | Food Pornographer |
| Lips: MAC Ruby Woo | Lips: Maybelline ShinyLicious |
| Makes $100K+ stripping & dancing | Would make about $10 in pity money if I ever tried pole dancing |
| House in Hawaii | Not |
| Travels the world getting plastic surgery with boyfriends money |
Needs a boob job badly |
| Trying to extort money from rich Papa-san judge |
I have an online stalker (oh yes I really do) |
***
The recipe for Fried Egg with Oyster Sauce and Chilies is here:
Fried Egg with Oyster Sauce and Chilies
March 12th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
You’re hotter than the stripper, anyway
I’m jealous of anyone who can cook for a living. Sure, I enjoy my numbers, spreadsheets, and databases, but it seems so romantic to make your living providing tasty-pleasure to others and satisfying a basic need.
Then again, as I’m often told, when you make your hobby a living, sometimes you just don’t enjoy it as much. Don’t want to ruin it for myself, then, I guess… Back to accounting for me
March 12th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
Well, congratulations on the big masthead, Jaden!
Way to go!
March 12th, 2008 at 11:04 pm
Congrats!
March 12th, 2008 at 11:08 pm
I have tried pole dancing in the gym , and its hard. I would get about $1. Congrats. I see that yummy fried egg with oyster sauce recipe. was published. I have got to make that one day. Online stalkers. How weird. What next…
March 12th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
Oooh! I got mentioned in Jaden’s blog!
Oh, wait…
:-O
Do they really let you talk about masthead size in the Trib?
Congrats!
March 12th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
congrats with your new job. sounds like heaven to me… but do we need to discuss this stalker thing?!
March 12th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
oooo, congrats!
March 12th, 2008 at 11:29 pm
nice work jaden! Online stalker? oh dear..u hv to update us on that one.
March 12th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
Congratulations!!!
March 12th, 2008 at 11:55 pm
Way to go. I think it sounds like great fun (oh if only I wasn’t so busy teaching school all day!)
March 13th, 2008 at 12:06 am
Congratulations, Jaden! Much more fun to cook than to pole dance, I’m sure. And less of a chance to sprain an ankle….
March 13th, 2008 at 12:06 am
wohoo! way to go Jaden!
March 13th, 2008 at 12:57 am
way to go Jaden! you can borrow our house in Hawaii
March 13th, 2008 at 1:52 am
Hey, that’s terrific! I’m glad they used that photo for your column sig, too. It’s very flattering.
March 13th, 2008 at 2:02 am
“…gag me with a chopstick…”
I nearly peed my pants!
Congratulations!
March 13th, 2008 at 3:00 am
Congrats!!! I think you should put $20 for the pole dancing - I would give you a $10 because that’s what friends do.
March 13th, 2008 at 4:22 am
Congratulations on the bigger masthead move. Ooh, which one of us is the stalker or are all of us online fans, a ‘collective noun’ stalker?
March 13th, 2008 at 5:31 am
How exciting - well done!
March 13th, 2008 at 5:48 am
A thousand congrats on the BIG new masthead ‘boyfriend’, Mrs Steamy.
You’re wa-a-a-a-y hotter than that over-made-up stripper. And I bet you strip beans and bacon better than she can.
P.S. I didn’t mean to stalk you; I was just reading your blog and admiring your photos. Promise!
March 13th, 2008 at 6:00 am
congrats Jadennn….u’re callin’ me a stalker?!!! Officer, i swear to you, i only sent her 1000000000 threatening messages cos she refused to fedex her firecracker shrimps over. i will only send 100000 more messages, i’ll stop, i promise.
hmm, i can keep the handcuffs tho?
March 13th, 2008 at 6:11 am
Bravo Zulu on the big move (que the Jefferson’s theme….). Aren’t you worried that the paper is going to ask you tone down your writing?
It’s nice when good things happen to deliciously evil people
March 13th, 2008 at 6:45 am
Congratulations, that’s awesome (except for having a stalker…)!
March 13th, 2008 at 6:46 am
congrats with your new job, you are getting to be a celebrity
Hi hi you gave stalker.
March 13th, 2008 at 7:03 am
“You’re hotter than a stripper anyway.”
Words every girl longs to hear.
March 13th, 2008 at 7:26 am
Congratulations on your column!
March 13th, 2008 at 7:33 am
Congratulations Jaden. Maybe you’ll work your way bigger to a large RUNNING HEAD, hmmmm?
Now, with the new fame and all, are you suggesting erecting a pole in your basement? Photos are a must…I have $10 in ones. I’ll do the Pac-Man Jones and “make it rain!!!”
March 13th, 2008 at 7:46 am
Congrats sweetie! You know you’re in the major league when you have stalkers
March 13th, 2008 at 8:21 am
This is so great Jaden! I do hope you will posts your columns on your blog as well for us to read. Congrats and keep up the wonderful work!
March 13th, 2008 at 8:21 am
Wahoo!
March 13th, 2008 at 8:31 am
Awesome! Congrats. I love how your column sounds just like your blog in tone. That rocks!
March 13th, 2008 at 8:37 am
Wooh, congratulations Jaden! Now we are not only sisters-in-blog but sisters -in-company!
March 13th, 2008 at 8:51 am
Way to go!
March 13th, 2008 at 8:53 am
Congrats on your new gig — very exciting!
March 13th, 2008 at 8:54 am
Hey Congrats to you. Size does matter!
That front page got me thinking. I was cleaning out my old emails last night and ran across this link http://www.alllooksame.com/ It was sent to me by my cousin. Growing up in the SF area you would think our spouses would be able to tell the differences. We’ve come to the conclusion we are married to dumb ‘low faans’.
March 13th, 2008 at 9:18 am
Way to go! I’m sure with your talents, this will open many mored doors for you.
ejs
March 13th, 2008 at 9:50 am
Congrats!! By the way, I sooo want my own online stalker. Is it fun?
March 13th, 2008 at 9:52 am
I cannot believe you outed me ;);)
Congratulations :). Now please name that dish after me as you promised because you are a celebrity chef ( without a big head) :):)
March 13th, 2008 at 10:32 am
all kidding aside
good work…
March 13th, 2008 at 10:39 am
tried the egg recipe and it was yummy. Then tried it the next morning with a balsamic reduction… very good as well!
March 13th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Congrats Jaden–good job!!! Hope the big masthead doesn’t stiffle your “way with words”. And yes, yes size does matter. Go get ‘em!!!
March 13th, 2008 at 11:58 am
Fantastic! Well done and Bravo - So well deserved!
I LOVE the line about your being the mother of 2 boys above the age of diapers but under the age of reasonable negotiation - I am too, although mine are 20 and 17!
Did the no knead bread again this weekend and it was Perfect again!
Continued success to you,
Janet
March 13th, 2008 at 11:59 am
Congratulations!!! I have several relatives in Tampa — I will tell them to look for your column!!! and i think you are better off than the stripper, even with a stalker (i got a marriage proposal based on a blog post once — and not from my real fiance!)
March 13th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
You are so adorable, Jaden! I’m thrilled that even more people will get to be entertained and fed with your wonderful words.
March 13th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
conratulations on your new gig, jaden! they will love you too. hopefully your ‘naughtiness’ will be allowed to come through as well! even if not, the food is wonderful enough!
March 13th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Congrats! That’s really amazing
March 13th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
That’s awesome news and certainly well-deserved. Congrats!
March 13th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Woo Hoo, your own stalker - way to go. Oh and congrats on the Trib gig, since I live in the Tampa Bay area I will be able to read your column, thanks for giving me a reason to buy a newspaper.
March 13th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
I know a celebrity!! Find me a nice condo in Tampa, it’s too snowy in montreal…..
March 13th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
I’m telling you jaden you are on ur way to the food network!!! just remember it was me who first told u
March 13th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
I love it!!
March 13th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Congrats Jaden! Stalker? Are you talking about me??? Stalking you for a job as your PA? LOL! Mmm…maybe we’ll get to see you on the Asian Food Channel next!
March 13th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
size queen!
March 13th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Congratulations on your successes! Things seem to be going quite well for you!
March 13th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Way to move up! I think you look way hotter (and nicer) than the stripper.
March 13th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Congratulations!
March 13th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Congrats!
There’s something wonderful about newsprint…
I think you should pick a wall in your house and start modpodging your articles on it. It’ll fill up pretty quickly!
March 13th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Congratulations! I think with your success and great work, the house in Hawaii and the boob job shall be yours soon!
March 13th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
congratulations Jaden - so excited for you and your column!! your photos always make me want to lick the screen
March 13th, 2008 at 6:56 pm
Congrats! Well done on the column. Um, on the stalker, well… I’m guessing that if you got to choose a sign of success and celebrity, you’d opt for the posh vacation home instead.
March 13th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
Excellent, Jaden - welcome to the ranks of the deadline dudettes.
March 13th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Congratulations!
March 13th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
oh, HONEY, you are so much way more The Hotness than that hag on the front page!
March 13th, 2008 at 11:15 pm
Congrats on your new column!
March 14th, 2008 at 12:20 am
Yay- a perfect fit for you! Have fun with it, and congratulations!!
March 14th, 2008 at 3:55 am
Woohooooo! Congratulations Jaden! You deserve the bigger masthead
March 14th, 2008 at 4:19 am
You are such a slut! Hopping from one newspaper to another so quickly!
March 14th, 2008 at 4:20 am
Oh! And CONGRATULATIONS!!!
And yes, size does matter.
March 14th, 2008 at 6:02 am
Jaden you are more and more beautifull than that Lady, congratulation for you column!
Kisses
March 14th, 2008 at 6:53 am
Jaden, that is really great! I think “steamy” is better than “hot” any day! I just had a piece in our local paper and it is a thrill to see your words in print. Congratulations on getting a weekly gig!
March 14th, 2008 at 7:38 am
congrats girl… and why comparing with that ugly duckling?????
March 14th, 2008 at 8:49 am
Jan dear….. grass is always greener on the other side.
You are doing more than just GREAT!!
March 14th, 2008 at 11:31 am
Let us know management’s reaction the first time you slip in a “fuck” or “shit” in your Trib column! Yuk, yuk, yuk.
March 14th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
I’m so glad my favorite blogger is doing so well!
March 14th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Congrats! You deserve it. I’ve tried some of your recipes and they’re ALL really good. Love the food pron photos, too, which inspired me to try to photograph my cooking, too. OH, and thanks for the tip on Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day. Got the book…great bread and soooo easy.
March 14th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Congrats, Jaden! It is very well-deserved! I’ll be reading.
March 14th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Jaden, congrats!
Stalkers? Too weird!
March 14th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Congratulations! That’s so exciting. : )
March 14th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
Congratulations as well!
A new beginning…
March 14th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Congrats on your column! I hope you’ll do little summaries for your blog for those of us who don’t get the paper!
BTW, hope you enjoy working with editors! Quite different than when you could say whatever the F you wanted on your blog huh?
March 14th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Congratulations! I’m sure you’ll do a wonderful job like you have always been.
March 14th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
Congrats at your success Jaden! Wish i was able to read your weekly column too!
March 14th, 2008 at 11:08 pm
I hope The Trib doesn’t pull your leash too tight, but if they’re hiring you, they’re headed back in the right direction. You should see about playing with Kevin Walker in the Media General compound.
March 15th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Whew, Tribune correspondent, can’t wait to see you cover live news events!
March 15th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Congratulations on the new column!
That stripper ain’t got nuttin’ on you, baby!
You got it goin’ on! Wish I could check out the weekly column.
Have fun!
March 16th, 2008 at 12:17 am
Jaden,
“Mast head envy” may be a normal part of blogging.
Getting it..well that’s an over the top wonderful blogging bonus!
Congratulations!
Ivan
March 16th, 2008 at 2:29 am
Hahahhaha you’re far more beautiful than that stripper,
Steamy hot!
March 16th, 2008 at 11:58 am
hahahah you are so hilarious!
March 17th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Congrats, Jaden! Love your first article-I’ll be looking for the following ones online! Now if you can just turn that Simpson sister voice (should I call you Selma?) into a DOWNLOADABLE song for the iPod, you might make a million bucks like Spitzer’s call girl-and all without turning a trick haha!
March 17th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
I was only recently instantly sucked into your wonderful world and I never gave a moments thought as to the state of your breasts. Congratulations!
March 18th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Congrats, Jaden!!! Next, it will be your own cooking show!
March 19th, 2008 at 7:47 am
Hi, nice site. I met you at T’s house in SF a few years ago…kinda hard to forget that, lol. Looks like you are doing well and having fun. Take care.
March 20th, 2008 at 11:00 am
OMG, what great news! I totes see this as the first step towards your total cooking world domintation.