I just read an article about a man in India who created a tree that grows 300 varieties of mangoes.

Although the original tree is more than 80 years old, this man has grafted different mango saplings onto it. It’s kind of neat and strange at the same time.

But, it got me thinking: If I could have one tree in my backyard that could grow 300 varieties of something, what would I want? Three hundred is a big number, and I’d probably get tired of that one thing - even if it were chocolate: dark, milk, semisweet, truffle, bittersweet, cordial-filled, pistachio-topped, caramel-injected, syrup, frosting, nibs, bacon-flavored, powdered, and on and on.

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Note: this was written for the lovely wedding issue for the Tampa Tribune

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The Chinese culture is filled with food traditions and symbolisms, so much in fact that I could never keep up and remember them all. During the entire 6 days surrounding my wedding, I deferred to my mother to tell me what to eat to please the Gods of good fortune and fertility. Oh, did I want to have some grapes? I had to eat five of them, not one less because that number that I must not utter, one less than five, means something bad in Chinese. In fact, I am choosing each and every word very carefully in this column so that in case YOU are the one getting married, I do not want to be blamed for any misfortune!

My wedding with Scott was a nice blend of his culture (Scottish-German) and mine. We exchanged vows at Pebble Beach’s legendary 18th hole (ok, Scott just corrected me and said “fairway” not “hole” because I don’t think they’d let 10 pairs of three-inch stilettos aerate the baby-soft skinny grass at the hole), but included Chinese customs throughout the entire week

One custom that we opted out of was serving a whole roast suckling pig at the wedding banquet. According to the Chinese, the pig symbolizes the virginity of the bride, and um, you know where I’m going with that. I say, no sense in pretending or misrepping what is not true, because that would be a lousy way to begin a marriage! Plus, where the heck would we find a whole suckling pig in the middle of a gucci golf resort? Can you even imagine the chef struggling to fit the fat pig on his fancy rotisserie grill?

There is one tradition that I would like to share with you, eating noodles. For birthdays, new year and weddings, noodles are served to represent long life. Don’t be tempted to cut the noodles, or you’ll be “cutting your life short.” You may not be Chinese, but really, there’s no harm in covering all your bases. I mean, who knows what deity drew the short straw and was appointed to be in charge something so boring like “lifespan?”

So, I created one easy dish that covered all your important bases – sort of cramming in as much good fortune as possible on one plate. The sesame seeds and pea pods in the noodles symbolize fertility (remember, if you don’t want children, substitute with any greens, bean sprouts or sliced bamboo shoots.) Shrimp, in Chinese, is pronounced “haa” which sounds like laughter, and may your marriage be full of happiness.

And of course, this column has 688 words, my way of wishing you a smooth path to double prosperity.

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from my Tampa Tribune column

I’m sure that a vow to eat healthfully was at the top of most New Year’s resolutions lists. Sigh. It certainly was on mine, but I’ve been doing a lousy job of fulfilling my goal of losing 15 pounds.

I even made it super-easy by limiting myself to just ONE resolution. I typed in my journal that if I could get there by the end of the year, I would pamper myself with a spa day at The Met in Sarasota.

It’s May, and I’m so not there yet. Maybe I need to re-evaluate my prize because, as we all know, a change in behavior is only sustainable with a promise of good loot at the end. The words “losing 15 pounds,” even the thought of a haircut and four-hour massage, is not enticement enough to turn away that decadent swirl of chocolate frosting or the irresistibly curious bacon toffee. Sugar? Butter? Bacon? Cannot resist.

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I know this photo sucks - my kids played with the camera and did something with the settings and I didn’t find out until after the food was eaten!

from my column in Tampa Tribune

Two weeks ago, I took a trip to Los Angeles to teach a couple of cooking classes and to visit family. So, I thought it would be a great idea to bring both of my boys along with me since tickets were only $250 each round-trip for a direct flight from Tampa to Los Angeles.

It was a deal too good to pass up, as I’m a Wal-Mart shopper and easily wooed by a bargain. I wouldn’t normally buy tangerine-flavored fingernail polish, but if it’s on sale for 35 percent off? OMG. I cannot resist. Give me the entire lot of them.

So, when I saw that the airfare was practically half off, I quickly purchased the tickets, not really thinking of the consequences of spending five hours in a small, enclosed flying contraption with no easy access to reinforcements, aka husband, teachers or relatives. Tag team, FAIL.

Thank goodness for the rolling minibar and $3 Snickers. That newlywed couple in the next aisle going to Hawaii for their honeymoon? My money says they probably swore off having children for the next 11 years. Who knew that flying with kids would be such great birth control? Next time your teenager talks about sex, have ‘em sit next to us on an airplane. Cheaper than an intervention or therapy.

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Since I’ve been working on my cookbook, which is all about modern Asian cooking, almost everything edible that comes out of my kitchen has been Chinese, Japanese, Thai, Vietnamese, Malaysian or Korean. Yes, it can be tiring and I’m considering starting a new blog called “Steamy Kitchen, UnAsian” just to break the monotony. Gimme some Brazilian! Moroccan! Australian!

My family has been begging for something different, and everytime that I ask the kids, “so what do you want for supper tonight?” They chime excitedly, “McDonald’s HAPPY MEALS! Hip, hip, HOORRAYYYY!”

Which is fine. I give in. Because I do love me some McD french fries dipped in soft serve ice cream. I know, You’re groaning. It’s a leftover habit and craving from my pregnancy days.

Please tell me that I’m not alone in this craving! Please tell me that you, too have strange culinary cravings and secret flavor combinations that just make other people squirm uncomfortably in their pants.

Tell me and I’ll enter you in the drawing to win one of three gorgeous Cooking Light The Complete Cookbook - this baby is MASSIVE, weighing in at 4.4lbs with 1,200 recipes, 630 color photographs and a companion DVD. Plus I think there is an offer for 1 free year of Cooking Light magazine subscription inside.

OHOHOH! And there’s a bonus…at the end of this post.

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I’ve been on an Indian food kick lately, as a friend of mine sent me a goody box full of Indian ingredients to experiment with.

I’m new to the cuisine, intimidated by the long list of unfamiliar spices in recipes. How do I pronounce badi elaichi or hara dhaniya without sounding as if I’ve slammed five shots of tequila for breakfast? If I ask for methi seeds at the market, will the shopkeeper flip out and push the police button hidden under the cash register? Surely, very suspicious.

So, rather than risk sounding stupid, I’ll order Indian food at restaurants, where I can read and understand the English description of the dish and point out my selection for the waiter without oophhinen mhyyy moufff.

But then I’m reminded by my friends that they feel the same way about common ingredients used in East and Southeast Asian cooking, such as nam pla, dong-gu and naganegi. My advice to friends who yearned to learn was to start with just one dry spice blend, such as five spice powder, and sparingly sprinkle on roasted vegetables. It’s inexpensive, simple and a great way to be introduced to Chinese flavors without having to invest in a cupboard full of one-hit wonders.

It was time to follow my own advice and venture into the world of Indian cooking.

My friend Sowjanya suggested I start with garam masala, a dry-spice mixture very popular in Indian cuisine. It’s a warming, aromatic blend of cardamom, cloves, cumin, coriander, cinnamon and black peppercorns, and it goes well with anything, especially vegetables. Garam masala is the type of spice that when you hold the bottle anywhere close to your face, you’ll collapse in ecstasy and moan loudly right there on your kitchen floor. Steamy kitchen, indeed.

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Note: This post seems silly now - because

1) I’m not mad at Scott anymore - that was SO last week

2) Andrew had a brain MRI on Tuesday morning

However, this story was published in the Tampa Tribune (my deadlines for the paper are a week ahead of pub date), and I’m not quite ready to talk about Andrew quite yet. (Yes, he’s healthy, fine) So I’m posting this little story anyways.

Also, something happened on the way to Flickr…the colors on the photos flattened out and are a little mushy. ??? Can’t figure it out this morning and will work on it later. In the meantime, enjoy!

Uninhibited Rage of Energy

I’m mad at my husband and it sucks. 36 hours ago, he lashed out at me, totally uncalled for and ever since then, I’ve been waiting for that apology. Waiting…nothing. That’s the trouble with being married to one of the most stubborn individuals this side of the universe.

When I’m upset, I retreat to my kitchen and make something. Sometimes, the most brilliant concoctions arise from my uninhibited rage of energy. I tear, chop, slather, peel, whirl and blend. Pots clang on the stovetop, the KitchenAid spits out patches of stray flour, the cheap blender vibrates across the counter, and the whirring exhaust fan drowns out angry thoughts in my head. I chop loads of fresh mint because no matter how hard I run my chef’s knife across the leaves, it happily returns with a bright, refreshing, crisp fragrance that bathes my tear-streaked face and clears my breathing.

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You will LOVE this free drawing, my friends…read on!

Also in the Tampa Tribune

Buying fish at the supermarket is one of those things that make me nervous. First off, the only thing I can ever afford is farm-raised tilapia from who-knows-where and whatever the fishmonger has on sale. Secondly, cooking fish is finickier than chipmunk in heat – 60 seconds is all that separates a moist, tender fillet from a dry, tough, overcooked rain jacket. Do I risk $16.99/lb for a grouper or $24.99/lb for monkfish? If the fish isn’t sushi-grade, is it ok to cook medium-rare? What if the recipe I found in the cookbook sucks and I end up with an inedible dinner? What if I misjudge my timing?

The poor fishmonger watches as I stand in front of the glass case, wringing my hands, calculating the price/risk index for each fish on display. Most days, I’ll opt for nice hunk of salmon, as my pocketbook is comfortable with the ratio of $9.99 per pound x high-fat content that it almost impossible to overcook.

A couple of weeks ago, a company called Kona Blue, overnighted to me a few pounds of a fish called kampachi to try. It’s Hawaiian yellowtail, sustainably raised off the coast of Hawaii at their farms. Like salmon, it’s chock full of Omega 3 oils, so it’s succulent, firm and rich. The best part is that it’s raised in a clean, controlled setting and it’s sushi-grade.

The kampachi fillets were one of the most beautiful, moist fish I’ve ever cooked at home. The true test was that I even accidentally overcooked the fish, because the moment the timer went off, something called, “sibling rivalry” screamed from the other room and demanded my immediate attention.

The price/risk ratio? Well, it’s expensive if you mail order from Kona Blue. $17.00/lb for fillets plus $35 for FedEx. Ouch. But some of the best restaurants in town and a handful of markets carry the fish. Here is a partial list of retailers and restaurants.

Tampa & Sarasota Readers: Tampa, FL restaurants are not listed there, but you can find Kona Kampachi at Roy’s, Bern’s, Sidebern’s, Mise en Place, Lakeland Yacht Club, Grand Hyatt Tampa and the Tampa Yacht Club. I just visited Whole Foods in Sarasota and they LOVE Kona Kampachi. Call or visit them and tell Ryan the fish manager that you want him to order! They have it sometimes, but the more people who ask, the more available the fish will be!

It’s certainly a fish that I’d beg or bribe my local fishmonger to carry.

Free Kampachi Drawing

But, my dear friends, I’ve got a surprise for you. Kona Blue has graciously given me some prizes to give away – packages of super-fresh Kona Blue Kampachi overnighted to 3 randomly chosen lucky winners. The fish is packed with tons of ice packs, and will arrive on your doorstep fresh as ever. I don’t know how much they are sending to you, but I have a feeling it will be more than your entire family can eat in one sitting.

Oh, and since it’s sushi-grade, you can eat it like sashimi with some soy and wasabi.

All you have to do is comment below! Accepting entries until Saturday morning after my morning coffee lunchtime…whenever that will be. Oh, and for my international friends, I don’t think Kona Blue can ship overnight internationally, but enter anyways, and if you win, I’ll personally ship you something nice….a box full of Steamy Kitchen goodies. Maybe some wonderful American spices, sauces, gadgets, books? Dunno yet, but I’ll send something extra special.

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Caption me! What the hell am I saying???

(no, your screen isn’t dirty - I had to snag that off my TV by taking a pic of the video. The smudges? I was watching Anthony Bourdain on TV and was either practicing kissing him like a lovestruck teen or trying the new scratch ‘n sniff feature on his show)

The station called me Monday morning as I was rounding the kidlets up to go to school. “We need a chef to come on air this morning! Can you do it?”

Good thing I had my Wonder Woman cape in my purse.

and good thing I had ingredients in my freezer and pantry for Firecracker Shrimp. Otherwise, I might have been forced to cook Spam ‘n leftover fish scramble with a stale Cheetos crust and frozen raspberry puree.

Video here - just click on the “Featured Video” link.

***

from the Steamy Kitchen Tampa Tribune column

Part of being a good parent is teaching your kids how to eat well, you know, the whole balanced meal and limiting junk thing. Yes, I know my responsibilities well. But seriously, most kids these days register only 3 taste sensations: sweet, salty and gross. As a lover of all things delicious, the concept of “eating well” is just not enough. I want my kids to experience the goofy giddiness that follows a spoonful of the most decadent, smooth, rich chocolate pudding. Twirl with delight as they pop a sugar-snap pea open and discover bright green jewels inside. Oh, but it doesn’t end there….

Ever since Andrew and Nathan passed the smushed food stage, I began teaching them the concept of the “best part” of a dish.

They say that in ancient China when kidnapping children was common, the kidnappers could tell whether a kid was royalty or not just by presenting a steamed whole fish. If the kid went straight for the “best part,” or the cheeks, then bingo! He was the real deal…

Ok, so not that I think my tots are royalty or anything, but if ever we are invited to Oprah’s house and my kids go straight for the fish eyeballs just to see how far they could catapult them, I’d be mortified.

Instead, I’ve taught them to savor the tender, fatty collar of a ribeye steak, the baby heart of a romaine, the crisp-chewy-but-not-burnt edge of a brownie, the crunchy, browned rice at the bottom of the pot, and the pillowy mound of bread right at the center of the loaf.

However, this has all backfired on me. Previously, all 20 glorious square inches of golden, crispy skin of a perfectly roasted chicken was mine, all mine. Now, I have to split it with them. Let’s do the math. 20 square inches divided by 3, minus begging for more of Mommy’s share, equals SO NOT FAIR.

I’m sure you see my dilemma now. Teaching the kids about the love of food means I get less of the good stuff. But pretending to the kids that oh-my-goodness–that-overcooked-liver -is-delicious while I sneak the juicy nugget of chicken meat right above the thigh, is not quite the right thing to do.

I have no answer, my friends, but just to roast the biggest, baddest chicken with maximum surface area and smother it with a sweet, sticky sweet plum sauce so that the entire bird becomes the “best part.”

Roasted Chicken with Sweet Plum Sauce

Sweet plum sauce is found in the Asian section of your supermarket. It’s the same sweet, slightly tart, jam-like sauce that some Chinese restaurants give you to dip your fried egg rolls in. The sauce is wonderful paired with pork chops, seared duck breast or a simple grilled fish. You can roast any size bird, just increase your roasting time for larger birds.

Serves 4

4-lb whole chicken
1/4 cup sweet plum sauce
1 head of garlic, halved
1 lemon, quartered
salt & pepper
3 tbl butter, softened
kitchen twine
1/4 cup sweet plum sauce to serve at table

Rinse chicken and cut away extra fat. Pat dry with paper towels inside and out. Place in shallow baking dish and rub softened butter all over chicken, tucking just a bit under the skin of breast. Season generously with salt and pepper outside and inside cavity. Stuff with garlic and lemon. Tie legs of the chicken together, slather sweet plum sauce all over chicken. Set breast side down. Let sit 30 minutes at room temperature. Preheat oven to 450F. Roast chicken 20 minutes. Turn breast side up, lower temperature to 375F and return to oven. Continue to roast another 60-70 minutes, brushing with additional sweet plum sauce towards the end. You may have to loosely tent with tin foil if skin is approaching maximum crispiness (i.e. don’t burn the skin.) Chicken is done when juices run clear as knife tip is inserted into chicken thigh. Thickest part of thigh without touching bone should register 170F. Let chicken rest 10 minutes before carving. Serve with a side of sweet plum sauce for dipping.

Guys! Gals! Androids! I have something SO AWESOME to share with you…

and I’m not gonna.

just yet.

maybe in a couple of days.

I know, I’m a tease. But would you expect anything less from Steamy Kitchen?

In the meantime, I wanted to share a how decisions get made in the Steamy household.

How The Steamy Household Decides What to Eat

5pm weeknight, asks family: “What other side dish would you guys like for supper? We’re having tonight with some .”

says, “Oh cool, I love . We’ve been eating so much lately that it’s nice for a change.How about some

replies, “Ok. well, it’s 5pm and I can’t really make in time for supper.* How about just plain ? Kids, what do you want to eat?”

“”

“”

“Kids. We can’t have for supper. Are you crazy? Pick something else.”

“ “Vanilla Garlic’s Cinnamon Chocolate Cupcakes!”

“Yeah! ”

“Cool. ”

(SIGH). How can I satisfy all?

Orzo with Brown Butter and Cinnamon

Recipe from Epicurious

GF-Adaptable: substitute orzo with GF pasta

1 pound orzo
1/2 stick (1/4 cup) unsalted butter
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1 tsp kosher salt
1/4 lemon
3/4 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley (from 2 bunches)

Cook orzo in a 6- to 8-quart pot of boiling salted water until tender. While orzo cooks, melt butter in a small heavy skillet over moderately low heat, then simmer until golden brown with a nutty aroma, about 5 minutes. Remove skillet from heat, then stir in oil, cinnamon, and pepper. Drain orzo in a colander, then return to pot and add brown-butter mixture, scraping up any brown bits from bottom of skillet, and parsley. Toss until combined well and season with salt and a squeeze of lemon

*(YES I KNOW, Jeff and Zoe, if I had some dough in the refrigerator, I surely could have gotten laid tonight by by just seducing him with a beautiful loaf of .)

***

And now for the winners of the tsp spice giveaway!

Three winners will get some beautiful spices. Winners were randomly chosen by The Psychic Science nifty random number generator.

Drumroll….please…(sound of envelope being ripped open)

The first winner who is….on the next page.

[hee hee - I just did a "ryan seacrest!"]

Contestant #115, who will recieve tsp spices

Sun Shine: Sun Shine contains one can each of organic lemon zest and organic orange zest. Each spice can contains 12 one-teaspoon packets. Organic lemon zest and organic orange zest infuse your cooking with a kiss of sunshine. $16.

# 115 claudia at ‘cook eat FRET’ Says:

February 26th, 2008 at 11:51 pm e

thyme, garlic, salt and pepper
add cauliflower and cream
mash
oh my!.

And our next winner is….

Commenter #42 who wins tsp spices:

Sweet Heat: Sweet Heat contains one can each of true cinnamon from Saigon and crushed ancho chiles. Each spice can contains 12 one-teaspoon packets. Sweet Heat is an age-old taste sensation made dazzlingly new. Awaken your senses with the delicate flavor of true cinnamon and ancho chile. Teaspoon packets allow you to use them singly or together. $16.

# 42 Lisa Says:

February 26th, 2008 at 2:27 pm e

Cumin, coriander, turmeric and a tiny pinch of cinnamon. Not only does it taste great - the color is beautiful too!

Hey Lisa and Claudia- you guys should get together and swap some spice packets, because my absolute favorite combo for tsp spices is Orange Zest and Ancho Chile!

The final winner is of the spice giveaway is…..

Contestant #218 who will get:

Savoir Fare: Contains one can each of organic marjoram and organic sage. Each can contains 12 one-teaspoon packets. For knowing cooks, marjoram and sage are a deliciously compatible pair. Team them up to season a bread stuffing or pork sausage. Try them separately to flavor meat loafs, soups or bean dishes. Continental chefs have long savored both of these herbs. Now it’s your turn. Bon appetit! $16.

# 218 amy purple Says:
February 29th, 2008 at 3:07 pm e

That is some fancy packaging for spices! I’m probably more of a Basil or Parsley person, but I on the last dish I made for my husband’s lunch, I used Ginger and Curry.

Do you have an orange tree? That photo just makes me want to suck the juice out of one of those orange slices!

Congrats winners! Email me directly at jaden@steamykitchen.com with your name, address and phone number for shipment!