from Steamy Kitchen food column in Tampa Tribune

If I had to just choose one thing, “my killer app” in the kitchen, it would be salt. It doesn’t matter what cuisine I’m cooking, salt is the basis of flavor in a savory dish. Call me a salt snob, but I stay away from the regular table salt, mainly because it tastes like crap! The granules are way too fine, the anti-caking agent just sounds gross and added iodine is sooooo 1920’s. The taste reminds me of…um…getting smacked in the face with a salt lick dipped in a vat of bitters?

Normally, I use kosher salt in the kitchen, mainly because of the texture and cheap price. I really like the feel of kosher salt in my fingers as I’m seasoning, and I’ve learned to season by sight, feel and taste. I’m just too lazy to bust out the measuring spoons, because each time, I have to wash and wipe dry the set of awkward, clanging, dangling spoons for fear of tainting the oregano with chili powder or powdered sugar with vanilla extract. How inefficient! Wouldn’t it be cool if spice jars came with twist lids that doled out the spice in teaspoon increments? What a great product idea. And if you steal my idea, at least take me out to dinner. But I digress. Read the full story

If there’s one thing that I absolutely cannot stand, it’s wasting vibrant, perky produce. But when a recipe calls for only 1 tbl of fresh, minced herb and the store only sells them in gargantuan bunches, my palms sweat as I begin planning my week’s menu all around this stupid little herb, just so every last bit of it gets used. Cooking is no longer fun when I have to come up with concoctions like Chocolate Parsley Ice Cream, Oooey, Gooey, Caramel Oregano Buns or even Lucky Charms with Marjoram Sprinkles just to avoid the guilt of being a wasteful human being and risk bad veggie karma.

Wouldn’t it be cool if produce stores sold herbs by the fraction of an ounce? Like, I could go and pinch a teeny, tiny little bud of dill that weighed 2 grams, because that’s all the recipe called for. I’d gladly pay double the price just so I don’t have to open my refrigerator door and have this dill monster shaking its now soggy, flaccid fist at me, screaming, “Curse you, vegetable sinner!”

Last fall, inspired by my friend, Jan, I began planting my own herb and vegetable garden to combat this problem. I had visions of running outside on a whim, caressing my beautiful, lively herbs, inhaling its sweet, grassy fragrance, and only plucking what I needed for tonight’s supper. Dreamily, I purchased 3 tomato vines, 6 different herbs, a selection of 4 gourmet lettuces, broccoli, 3 chili peppers, and 3 lime trees. I could hardly wait!
It’s been 4 months. So, you wanna know what really happened? Well, the plants grew fast and furious – the tomatoes shot up 3 feet in one month and started popping out hundreds of green tomatoes, the herbs went hopping mad and took over the entire side of the lanai, especially the mint, which began its hostile takeover of garlic chives. The colossal broccoli leaves cannibalized all available sunlight and left poor chili peppers to crane its neck this way and that just to reach a spot of warmth.

The garden totally consumed me – from figuring out what to do with a bucket of lettuce leaves every other day to scolding mint bully to back the hell off of chives. I began giving away bouquets of herbs to friends, neighbors, the mailman. I left bags of tomatoes in unlocked cars at the gas station. I hid herbs in my purse, pouncing on anyone browsing in the herb section, “Hey, ya want some free herbs?” And no, Thai Basil is not smokable.

It was bad, outta control bad. Thankfully, the “Giant Arctic Florida Freeze of 2008” happened in January and the frost took down about half of my crops.

BEFORE AFTER ARCTIC FLORIDA FREEZE

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I made Oishii Eats Vietnamese Summer Rolls (Goi Cuon) with Cashew Nut Dipping Sauce this morning on television! They came out fantastic and the crew devoured them seconds after the camera shut off. In the video I show you how to roll ‘em tight!

Wanna watch?

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Andrew and I arrived home safely late Monday night. Our trip to Los Angeles was full of Mom’s home cooking - we had Chinese hot pot, fried garlic chili crab, chicken noodle soup with rice noodles, homemade XO chili sauce, and Hainan steamed chicken. Oh it was heavenly and I ate like a madwoman. These trips back to Mom are essential to restoring my inner Asian balance.

Our flight to Los Angeles left super early from the Tampa airport, which is about an hour away. Since we rushed out of the house at 5am, I left dishes unwashed in the dishwasher from the night before. All my energy was focused on getting to the airport on time and making sure that I didn’t pack my normal purse contents of hand lotion, hair spray, bottled water, weed killer, self-inflating rafts, bacterial cultures, bleach and rodent poison.You know, anything that could potentially be used as a weapon.

Back off, bucko, I can hurt you with my hand lotion. It’s LAVENDER SCENTED WITH EXTRA ALOE.
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Because I live in one of the hottest states in the United States, and by “hot” I mean the moment you step outside, the crease in the back of your knees sweat as fast as spinach in a fry pan. In the summer, I curse the humidity, especially when my friends back in San Francisco brag about having lunch alfresco on happy-sunshiney-afternoons. But then along comes December, and guess what. I am still growing tomatoes, gardening in shorts and a tank top in almost 80F degree weather. Love it.

Na na na na boo boo!

In October, I bought a few Earthboxes - and began growing 3 tomato plants, lettuce, herbs, cauliflower, peppers and broccoli. The tomatoes took off like like a dog in heat and within weeks grew to 3 ft tall with a gazillion flowers. That’s the beauty of the Earthboxes…low maintenance…high productivity. Kinda like me, right Scott?!

Anyways, they grew so friggin’ fast that one day I came home to find all 3 tomato plants toppled over because the wire trellis couldn’t support the plants’ weight. One plant broke and therefore the 2 months of tomatoes which i had lovingly massaged, sang to and kissed, were left dangling helplessly on the stem. The other plants were ok, so today Scott built a massive wooden trellis system, about the size of a small bathroom just for them to “grow into.” I really should take a photo for you (next time).

18 small green tomatoes…perfect for Elise’s Fried Green Tomato recipe paired with my Sweet Chili Dressing and home-grown greens. These green babies are goin’ out in style.

I have another Earthbox just dedicated to different kinds of salad greens - our little family can’t keep up with all the lettuce we are producing. I’ve become a lettuce-pusher….presenting bags of lettuce and herbs to my friends every time I visit. This Fried Green Tomato Salad with Sweet Chili Dressing was so satisfying that I have a feeling that many of the remaining tomatoes will be plucked before ripening. Panko breadcrumbs were a perfect breading - so incredibly light yet packs a massive crunch when fried…..continued….

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