working late all week
too hungry to be fancy
five minute dish yay

much past midnight
crispy, crunchy, runny, sweet.
spicy egg porn.

gobbled eggs all up
perfect, it sure hit the spot
zzz zzzz zz zzzzzz burp

Fried Egg with Oyster Sauce & Chili

from Simple Chinese Cooking by Kylie Kwong

4 free range eggs
2 tbls oyster sauce + 1 tbl water, mixed
pinch ground pepper
1/2 cup finely chopped scallions
1-2 chilies, finely sliced
3 tbl cooking oil

Carefully crack eggs into a bowl. Heat oil in wok on high heat until surface seems to shimmer slightly. Pour eggs into hot oil. After 1 minute, reduce heat to medium, allowng the underside of the egg to become firm and crisp. The yolks should still be runny at this point. Cook 1 more minute. Gently slide eggs off plate, trying to keep excess oil in wok. Drizzle eggs with oyster sauce. Season with pepper. Garnish with chili and scallions. Serve immediately.

I’m an amateur egg pornographer

…compared to this guy. Here’s the real grand-daddy of egg porn - from the movie Tampopo (thanks Nate!)

Dude. I think I’m gonna hurl.

Steamy Kitchen on ABC7

Last month’s appearance on ABC kinda snuck up on me - I didn’t have time to solicit votes on which blogger dish to cook! Sorry about that, I ended up making Rice & Noodle’s Firecracker Shrimp, a dish that I can practically make in my sleep. Well, I practically cooked it in my sleep - as I had to wake up at 4:00am to get to the station by 5:30am to be on-air at 6:40am. WHEW!

I’m getting better and better each time I go on. There are so many things to remember when you are cooking live on-air - including looking pretty, sounding intelligent, not cutting my fingers off, not burning the food, timing, pacing, not being nervous, more timing (it’s not like they can cut a news story just so I can finish my damn Firecracker Shrimp!), smiling and LOOKING AT THE CAMERA (ahem.).

Wanna see the video?

I know wonderful anchorman, Ken Jefferson accidentally said that I’m from the “Steamy Restaurant!” :-)  Maybe, one day when I have a few million in the bank, I might think about starting a restaurant just for fun. But gosh. I don’t think I’m built for the restaurant industry!  But perhaps Ken is foreshadowing my millions gazillions. In that case, thank you Ken! Santa will be good to you this year!

Come take a look - when you get to ABC’s site, click on the VIDEO LINK right above the photo. The site uses Windows Media Player, so if it doesn’t launch, it could be because you don’t have Windows Media Player.

The finished dish photo and recipe - Firecracker Shrimp Recipe

***

Crispy Tofu with Citrus Soy

Ahhh…finally a tofu recipe. This recipe is from Eric Gower’s The Breakaway Cook, which is a wonderful cookbook if you enjoy global flavors. In fact, it inspired me to start playing with Flavored Salts (that’s Sichuan Peppercorn Salt, Citrus Salt and Matcha Green Tea Salt.

Sidenote: these flavored salts would make great holiday presents Make different batches and package them up in pretty little containers with a bow. Read through the comments on the Flavored Salt post - readers have such great suggestions for salt ideas like Lavender Salt, Kaffir Lime Salt and Chocolate Salt (for popcorn). Its inexpensive and easy to make - the combinations are endless!

For this Crispy Tofu with Citrus Soy, I used panko bread crumbs, ginger, orange, lemon, and of course, my Citrus Salt.

Eric uses rice flakes to coat, but I only had panko bread crumbs on hand, which I grounded fine to almost like a powder:

I deviated from Eric’s recipe just a bit. Here is his original recipe. It’s light, tangy and would be great over Mizuna Greens and Arugula for a salad.

Question for my vegan friends - the recipe uses 1 egg yolk to act as a binder, allowing bread crumbs to stick. What would you suggest using to replace the egg?

Question for my Gluten Free friends - suggestions on replacing the panko bread crumbs?

Crispy Tofu with Citrus Soy

For gluten free - replace with the panko and soy with GF alternatives.

serves 2-4 as part of multicourse meal

1 large tofu block (firm), drained and wrapped in paper towels
1/2 tsp fresh grated ginger (use a microplane grater)
zest of 1 lemon
1/4 cup orange juice
1 tbl soy sauce
1 tbl mirin
1/2 tsp rice wine vinegar
1/2 cup panko crumbs, finely ground
salt & pepper
1 egg yolk

Optional ingredients: Citrus Salt, salad greens, Japanese pickled ginger

Combine lemon juice, orange juice, soy, mirin, rice wine vinegar and ginger in a small saucepan. Simmer on low for 5 minutes. Season with salt, pepper and lemon zest. Taste. Sometimes I like to add a little more zing…and add in just a touch more rice wine vinegar, especially if I’m serving it with salad.

Slice tofu block in half, horizontally, so you have 2 thinner pieces of tofu. Pat tofu halves dry. Arrange in this order: tofu, egg yolk, panko. You can either dip the block in the egg yolk, or use a large pastry brush to brush on a light layer top and bottom. Press both sides of tofu in the panko firmly. In nonstick skillet, heat 1-2 tbl of cooking oil on med-high heat. When oil is hot, but not smoking, carefully slide in the tofu halves. Do not let them touch. Fry each side 2-4 minutes until you have a nice, brown crust. Manage your heat - you may have to turn your heat up or down depending on your stovetop.

Arrange tofu on plates, spoon a bit of Citrus Soy sauce on top and garnish with Citrus Salt and Japanese Picked Ginger. Serve over salad greens if you wish!

After a month, I FINALLY got this dang video up! It’s my first time cooking LIVE on television - ABC morning news.

 

Now how backwards is this:

Live broadcast via very expensive digital news cameras -> transmits via fancy satellite somewhere up in space -> to massive receiver at my cable company that I pay $123.00 per month to -> though thousands of miles of underground digital cable to my HD-ready cable box -> that gets recorded in high quality, digital format (like Tivo) -> saved low quality to VCR tape (yeah, that is SO 1985!) -> pay someone $40 to get 4 minutes of video from scratchy quality VCR tape onto a DVD -> which gets converted to an .avi file -> which gets uploaded to YouTube -> which then gets transmitted through the tangled Internet tubes to your computer.

(whew!) I know there is an easier way, but I don’t have a video capture card on my computer.  I asked Scott to build a computer that we could hook up directly to the TV, cuz…you know…he owns a computer company. But then again, I’m still waiting for a towel rack to be installed in the kitchen. That I asked for 5 years ago.

Here’s the studio kitchen, which is inches away from the newscasters. And NO, I didn’t drape seductively over this stovetop, like I did on this one.  Cute little kitchen - the counter and cabinets in the back are about 6″ deep - perfect for people with really short, nubby arms. See that window?  Just right outside are laughing children jumping rope, gorgeous, fragrant Gardenias, lovely palm trees, perfect, sunny 80F degree weather, a Stepford housewife tending to her garden, a dad playing catch with his son….all printed nicely on posterboard. 

Really, it was 5:30 am, still pitch black outside.

There are 3 of these big, bad cameras. You’ll see in the video that I didn’t know which one to look at!  They are remote controlled, and remind me of some Star Wars robot. Pretty intimidating. They actually scared the bajeebers outta me when all three of them simulateously moved towards me with,

“Use the force, Steamy. Use the force” flashing on their screens. Damn robots.

Here is newscaster Silke Roble. Don’t let her nicely pressed, professional outfit fool you - she’s also wearing fuzzy pink flip-flops. Really!

And this is where they have special guests.  See that thick wire and foot petal in front of the chair?  That is a nifty gadget. The guest sits on the left chair, the host on the right. It’s a live broadcast, so if the guest says embarrassing things like, “I like turtles,” all the host has to do is nudge the foot petal and (poof!) guest gets ejected out of chair and crashes through that glass screen. All in a blink of an eye. Thank goodness they kept me in the kitchen.

Here’s the dish that I made - Chinese Fried Rice - it has Chinese sausage (lap cheong), eggs, carrots and peas. 

 

So here are a few things that I have learned since that taping:

1. 3 minutes is a LOOOOONGGGG time, especially when I’ve drank 3 espressos with a Red Bull chaser (because I woke up at 4:30am to get to the studio at 5:30am) and too afraid to run off to the restroom for fear that I would miss my spot and the camera would pan to the kitchen and …. um….where the hell is Steamy?
2. I’m short. I need to practice cooking in my 4″ hooker heels.
3. Confucious say, “Flappy arm sleeves may catch on fire if one not careful.”
4. Live television is fun! Especially when I pre-warn the producer to keep finger on the “bleeeep” button in case naughty words escape my lips.
5. Television adds 30lbs, not 10.

I must have not been THAT bad - they’ve asked me back! If you are in the area (Sarasota/Manatee counties) and get ABC Channel 7, tune in October 9th around 6:30am-ish.  This time I promise not to drink espresso and Red Bull. TOO! FRICKIN’! PERKY!

Here’s the video! Alright, be gentle now,
I’m no Mario, Giada or Rachel! (yet).  Gracious newscastress, Silke, made it so easy!

 

Chinese Fried Rice

A quick and easy recipe that takes about 10 minutes to make.  I usually include “fish sauce” in my fried rice, but this recipe is made without it. 

2 eggs, beaten
1/4 cup diced Chinese sausage
2 stalks scallions, minced
1/4 teaspoon grated ginger (use microplane)
3/4 cup diced vegetables
1 tablespoon soy sauce (or Tamari for gluten free)
1 teaspoon Chinese rice wine
3 cups cooked day-old Jasmine Rice (break up chunks)
1/4 teaspoon salt+ freshly ground pepper
1/4 teaspoon sesame oil

1. Fry the sausage & eggs: Heat up wok or large saute pan on medium-high heat. Add 1 teaspoon of cooking oil and when hot, add eggs. Fry eggs gently until 50% done, remove and set aside. Wipe pan clean. Turn heat to medium-low and add Chinese sausage. Cook the sausage until the fat melts. Remove sausage carefully, leaving as much of the sausage fat in the wok/pan.

2. Fry vegetables: Add the scallions & ginger and cook in the sausage oil for 15 seconds. Add diced vegetables. Cook until heated through, about 30 seconds. Add the soy sauce and rice wine, cook another 15 seconds.

3. Add the rice: Your rice grains should be broken up and as separate as possible. Add the rice, eggs, sausage to the wok/pan and fry until each grain is heated through. Season with salt, pepper and sesame oil. Stir fry until all ingredients are steaming hot.

***
 Spam Fried Rice….and ode in the style of Seuss

 Chinese Fried Rice (this recipe includes Fish Sauce…and this is normally how I made fried rice.

 Easy Chinese Vegetables - Garlic Yu Choy (which is Chinese spinach)

I witnessed something yesterday that compelled me to post something that was NON-ANIMAL:

At stoplights, most people will chat on the phone, daydream or play air drum to the radio. Me? I sit there and rehearse different apologies to say to my kids’ daycare teachers, “I am SO sorry Mrs. so-and-so….my Mom warned if I ate too many spicy chilies during my pregnancy that my kids would turn out the same…sadly, I did not listen.”

For those of you who have small “energetic” children, I doubt I need to explain that having not one but TWO 3-foot tall firecrackers is like a cowboy trying to walk with 30-pound spurs on each leg….

But they MUST be good kids at school, otherwise they would have been expelled already, right? Every afternoon when I pick them up from daycare, I sneak in the classroom, hoping to catch either kid in a cherubic moment, sprinkling flower petals over little classmates and graciously refusing any offerings of sugar-packed snacks with, “No thank you. I’ve had my fill of sugar today. May I have a broccoli spear instead?”

A few weeks ago, I slowly opened the classroom door, slithered my body through the crack and tiptoed quietly towards the perfect circle of two-year olds listening to their teacher read them a book about different animals. The kids were sitting cross-legged, hands laying on their laps, all eyes on the book and intently listening to the wondrous, fantastical story of animals. If you’ve ever been in a room full of 2-year olds, you know that this is either a miracle or they spiked the kids’ Kool-Aid with a little somethin’.

Each page of the book featured a different animal. As she read the little poem about Steve the Silly Snake….my kid, Nathan popped up like a jack-in-the-box and proclaimed loudly:

“I ATE THAT!!”

I gasped as the other kids cocked their heads in Nathan’s direction. the teacher raised an eyebrow but continued on to the next page.

Freddie the Flippy Frog…

“I ATE THAT!!”

Billy the Baby Buffalo…

“I ATE THAT!!”

Douglas the Dancing Duck…

“I ATE THAT!!”

Oscar the Ornery Octopus…

“I ATE THAT!!”

Pete the Pouncing Puppy..

“I ATE THAT!!”

After imagining poor little Pete the Pouncing Puppy being eaten, the teacher must have gotten grossed out, looked at Nathan with a crinkled nose and promptly snapped the book shut.

HOLY SON OF A FOODIE! In one motion, I swooped up my kid, totally embarrassed and said in a high-pitched nervous tone, “Sweetheart! We don’t eat puppies! You silly!”

…and you know the rest of the apology…

I’ve always prided myself in introducing lots of different foods to my kids at an early age. Being Chinese, sometimes that means relishing in some of the more traditional Asian…shall we say, non-conventional delicacies like sharks fin soup, jellyfish, baby octopus, hairy crabs and frog legs.

But (sigh), not puppies….which brings me to posting this very lovely Vegetable Fried Rice.

Vegetable Fried Rice

You can substitute gluten-free tamari for the soy sauce. If you would like to use fish sauce instead of soy sauce (which I often do) - use 2 tsp of fish sauce to replace the soy.

Serves 4-6 as part of multicourse meal

4 cups cooked day old rice, grains separated
1/2 tsp grated ginger, grated on microplane grater
1 tsp finely minced garlic
1 cup or more minced vegetables (red bell pepper, chives, fresh shitake, extra firm tofu, frozen peas/carrots, cabbage, etc.)
1 tsp + 1 ½ tbs soy sauce
pinch of sugar
1 tsp sesame oil
salt & pepper to taste

1. Heat 1 tb cooking oil on medium-high heat. When hot, add tofu cubes and brown on all sides. Remove, set aside. If you aren’t using tofu, then skip this step. Tofu is browned first, removed and added in later so that the delicate cubes do not get crushed in the frying process.

2. Add 2 tbs cooking oil and heat on medium. When oil is hot but not smoking , add ginger and garlic, stir fry for 15 seconds until fragrant. Turn heat to high and add vegetables - one kind at a time - in order of what takes longest to cook. Season with 1 tsp of the soy and a pinch of sugar to bring out the flavors of the vegetables. Fry until the vegetables are 80% cooked through.

3. Add rice. Add remaining soy sauce, sesame oil, salt & pepper. Fry on high heat until the each rice grain is heated through. Add tofu cubes back in. Taste. Add a touch more soy if needed.

***

Spam Fried Rice in the style of Dr. Seuss

Asian Pork Burgers

Here is my recipe for Crab Fried Rice. I did write another post on fried rice with some similar material and goes a little more in-depth, its a must read The Secrets to the Best Chinese Fried Rice. Fish sauce is used in a lot of Southeast Asian cooking, especially Thai and Vietnamese. It has a nice salty-sweet flavor to it, and you use it very sparingly, like Anchovy paste. A little goes a long ways! There are several brands of fish sauce, the best one I’ve found so far is called “Three Crabs” Good fish sauce should be the color of brewed tea. Anything darker (like the color of soy sauce) is a lower quality brand.

Chinese sausage is a wonderful ingredient. Its sweet, salty, slightly smoky. Unopened in its package, it will last 3 months refrigerated. After opening, wrap it up and refrigerate. The sausage will last for another month in the refrigerator. Dice the sausage into ¼” cubes. For the best flavor, start with a dry sautĂ© pan or wok set on medium heat. Add sausage and turn to low. The fat will melt (render) and in 7 minutes, remove the sausage leaving the fat. This is where a ton of flavor is! Use this fat to fry the rest of the ingredients. The sausage is smoked, preserved, dried and sold in packages of 10-12 links. The Chinese word for this is: “Lap Cheong” I brought this sausage back home from a recent trip to California (to celebrate Chinese New Year with family). My mom drove us to a friend’s house to pick up a large bag of Lop Cheong. Her friend hand-makes these sausages without any artificial preservatives.

Crab & Lap Cheong (Chinese Sausage) Fried Rice

Crab & Marinade mixture
1 can crab (6-8oz)
1/2 t grated fresh ginger (grate on rasp grater)
1 teasp cooking wine
1/4 teasp sesame oil
Salt & Pepper
2 Eggs, beaten
3 cups cooked rice, break up the chunks
2 stalks scallions minced
1/2 cup frozen vegetable mixture (peas/corn/carrot) – defrosted for 15 min
2 teasp fish sauce 2 teasp soy sauce
1/2 cup diced Chinese sausage
1 teasp cooking wine

1. Marinate the Crab: Drain all the water from the can of crab meat. Marinate with list of ingredients above.

2. Fry Sausage, Crab & Eggs: Heat up your wok to medium-high. Add the Chinese sausage to the wok, turn the heat down to med-low. Cook until the sausage releases its fat – about 5 minutes. Remove sausage, leaving as much oil in wok as possible. Turn heat to med-high. Add eggs to wok. Add crab to wok. Fry the mixture gently until eggs cooked through but still very soft. Remove, leaving as much oil in wok as possible.

3. Fry Rice: You should have about 1T of oil in the wok. If not, add cooking oil to the wok. Turn heat to high. Once the wok is hot, add scallions, stir fry for 15 seconds. Add the rice – breaking up as many chunks at possible. Let the rice heat up in the wok. Add vegetables. Stir-fry until all is hot. Add fish sauce, soy, salt & pepper Add the Chinese sausage, egg/crab mixture. Stir fry until all ingredients are combined and steaming hot. —- If you have the time, read my other post on Secrets of Making the Best Chinese Fried Rice