Cooking Chinese for the Olympics! This is Recipe 2 in the series and another home-style Chinese dish for you to try.

(Recipe 1: Ground Beef with Beijing Sauce Over Noodles)

Oh…and there’s a contest in the middle of this post!!!

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Last fall, my parents treated Scott and I to a 10 day group tour around China. Our first stop was Beijing, and first thing I noticed was how clean the city was. I literally could eat off the streets, as there was an entire team of sanitation engineers whose sole job was to scrape gum off the streets and sidewalk. I’m so not kidding - they wore white gloves and could scrape even crusty, 2 week old Bubbalicious in one quick motion.

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If you are curious to see what happens behind the scenes when I’m cooking live on television - as part of the morning news broadcast - here it is. I brought along my super cool point-and-shoot camcorder, the

Flip Video Ultra and gave you a quick tour in the studio and the studio kitchenette. It’s a long video - about 10 minutes - but you’ll see the entire filming while sitting propped up on top of 2 boxes and a plate on the kitchen counter. Yeah - so part of my head is cut off!

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I just read an article about a man in India who created a tree that grows 300 varieties of mangoes.

Although the original tree is more than 80 years old, this man has grafted different mango saplings onto it. It’s kind of neat and strange at the same time.

But, it got me thinking: If I could have one tree in my backyard that could grow 300 varieties of something, what would I want? Three hundred is a big number, and I’d probably get tired of that one thing - even if it were chocolate: dark, milk, semisweet, truffle, bittersweet, cordial-filled, pistachio-topped, caramel-injected, syrup, frosting, nibs, bacon-flavored, powdered, and on and on.

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Note: this was written for the lovely wedding issue for the Tampa Tribune

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The Chinese culture is filled with food traditions and symbolisms, so much in fact that I could never keep up and remember them all. During the entire 6 days surrounding my wedding, I deferred to my mother to tell me what to eat to please the Gods of good fortune and fertility. Oh, did I want to have some grapes? I had to eat five of them, not one less because that number that I must not utter, one less than five, means something bad in Chinese. In fact, I am choosing each and every word very carefully in this column so that in case YOU are the one getting married, I do not want to be blamed for any misfortune!

My wedding with Scott was a nice blend of his culture (Scottish-German) and mine. We exchanged vows at Pebble Beach’s legendary 18th hole (ok, Scott just corrected me and said “fairway” not “hole” because I don’t think they’d let 10 pairs of three-inch stilettos aerate the baby-soft skinny grass at the hole), but included Chinese customs throughout the entire week

One custom that we opted out of was serving a whole roast suckling pig at the wedding banquet. According to the Chinese, the pig symbolizes the virginity of the bride, and um, you know where I’m going with that. I say, no sense in pretending or misrepping what is not true, because that would be a lousy way to begin a marriage! Plus, where the heck would we find a whole suckling pig in the middle of a gucci golf resort? Can you even imagine the chef struggling to fit the fat pig on his fancy rotisserie grill?

There is one tradition that I would like to share with you, eating noodles. For birthdays, new year and weddings, noodles are served to represent long life. Don’t be tempted to cut the noodles, or you’ll be “cutting your life short.” You may not be Chinese, but really, there’s no harm in covering all your bases. I mean, who knows what deity drew the short straw and was appointed to be in charge something so boring like “lifespan?”

So, I created one easy dish that covered all your important bases – sort of cramming in as much good fortune as possible on one plate. The sesame seeds and pea pods in the noodles symbolize fertility (remember, if you don’t want children, substitute with any greens, bean sprouts or sliced bamboo shoots.) Shrimp, in Chinese, is pronounced “haa” which sounds like laughter, and may your marriage be full of happiness.

And of course, this column has 688 words, my way of wishing you a smooth path to double prosperity.

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You will LOVE this free drawing, my friends…read on!

Also in the Tampa Tribune

Buying fish at the supermarket is one of those things that make me nervous. First off, the only thing I can ever afford is farm-raised tilapia from who-knows-where and whatever the fishmonger has on sale. Secondly, cooking fish is finickier than chipmunk in heat – 60 seconds is all that separates a moist, tender fillet from a dry, tough, overcooked rain jacket. Do I risk $16.99/lb for a grouper or $24.99/lb for monkfish? If the fish isn’t sushi-grade, is it ok to cook medium-rare? What if the recipe I found in the cookbook sucks and I end up with an inedible dinner? What if I misjudge my timing?

The poor fishmonger watches as I stand in front of the glass case, wringing my hands, calculating the price/risk index for each fish on display. Most days, I’ll opt for nice hunk of salmon, as my pocketbook is comfortable with the ratio of $9.99 per pound x high-fat content that it almost impossible to overcook.

A couple of weeks ago, a company called Kona Blue, overnighted to me a few pounds of a fish called kampachi to try. It’s Hawaiian yellowtail, sustainably raised off the coast of Hawaii at their farms. Like salmon, it’s chock full of Omega 3 oils, so it’s succulent, firm and rich. The best part is that it’s raised in a clean, controlled setting and it’s sushi-grade.

The kampachi fillets were one of the most beautiful, moist fish I’ve ever cooked at home. The true test was that I even accidentally overcooked the fish, because the moment the timer went off, something called, “sibling rivalry” screamed from the other room and demanded my immediate attention.

The price/risk ratio? Well, it’s expensive if you mail order from Kona Blue. $17.00/lb for fillets plus $35 for FedEx. Ouch. But some of the best restaurants in town and a handful of markets carry the fish. Here is a partial list of retailers and restaurants.

Tampa & Sarasota Readers: Tampa, FL restaurants are not listed there, but you can find Kona Kampachi at Roy’s, Bern’s, Sidebern’s, Mise en Place, Lakeland Yacht Club, Grand Hyatt Tampa and the Tampa Yacht Club. I just visited Whole Foods in Sarasota and they LOVE Kona Kampachi. Call or visit them and tell Ryan the fish manager that you want him to order! They have it sometimes, but the more people who ask, the more available the fish will be!

It’s certainly a fish that I’d beg or bribe my local fishmonger to carry.

Free Kampachi Drawing

But, my dear friends, I’ve got a surprise for you. Kona Blue has graciously given me some prizes to give away – packages of super-fresh Kona Blue Kampachi overnighted to 3 randomly chosen lucky winners. The fish is packed with tons of ice packs, and will arrive on your doorstep fresh as ever. I don’t know how much they are sending to you, but I have a feeling it will be more than your entire family can eat in one sitting.

Oh, and since it’s sushi-grade, you can eat it like sashimi with some soy and wasabi.

All you have to do is comment below! Accepting entries until Saturday morning after my morning coffee lunchtime…whenever that will be. Oh, and for my international friends, I don’t think Kona Blue can ship overnight internationally, but enter anyways, and if you win, I’ll personally ship you something nice….a box full of Steamy Kitchen goodies. Maybe some wonderful American spices, sauces, gadgets, books? Dunno yet, but I’ll send something extra special.

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So, you curious about how I started teaching cooking classes? It wasn’t that long ago, 3 years ago to be exact. While this published in my weekly food column in Tampa Tribune, I wanted to share the column with you guys here on the blog as well. The point of sharing how I started is because I know many of you would LOVE to have a food related career, whether it’s food writing, food photography, food blogging, teaching classes or maybe even owning your own restaurant. And hey, if I can do it without any formal culinary training (psssst…I’ve never even worked in a restaurant before either), anyone can.

Or, in other words, to borrow from great master, Martin Yan, “If Yan Jaden can cook! You can too!”

btw, in the paper, I’m limited to 650 words (which includes the recipe), and I have so much more to say than just these 650 words! So, first the text from the column, and then more from me afterwards:

My husband, Scott and I moved from the culinary epicenter of San Francisco to Florida about 5 years ago when we decided that the hour-long commute just to get to work 5 miles away was just insane. Visiting the Tampa area, we found three times the home for half the price AND neighbors who live more than 2 inches away? Sold.

Happy, happy, joy, joy until I started looking at area restaurants. Oh boy, was I disappointed.

You see, in San Fran, I was spoiled by the uber-ethnic eateries that dot every street corner. It’s the type of place that when you ask a local for a Chinese restaurant recommendation, he’d look at you for further clarification and ask, “Hong Kong, Sichuanese or Mongolian?”

From my new home, the closest Asian restaurant was a mile away, and it was called Bangkok Tokyo. One afternoon, while I stood waiting for my lunch to-go order of Red Chicken Curry and Steamed Jasmine Rice, I overheard a lady at the sushi bar talking quite loudly on her cell phone, “Hey Barbara, come meet me for lunch. I’m eating sushi at the Chinese restaurant.”

WTF?!?!?

Excuse me, but the last time I checked, neither Bangkok nor Tokyo were in China. That’s kind of like calling Ceviche’s Tapas Bar a French restaurant! Do I really live in a place where all Asian ethnicities just get ignorantly lumped under Chinese?

I complained to Scott. I cried to my Mama on the phone. I wanted to move back to SF. And of course, Scott scolded me after the fourth straight day of whining, “Quit your bitching and do something about it.”

And so I did. I started teaching hands-on cooking classes featuring Asian cuisine for the home cook. I’ve always been a rock star in the kitchen, and it was easy to transition my cooking into a teaching format. I love it. I’ve found my calling. I’m meant to teach the difference between dark soy and light soy, to write about how to cook with a wok, and to rid the world of goopy brown sauce that coats every stir-fry I’ve had in town.

Yes. it’s true. I started my food career because of a silly conversation that I overhead at a restaurant. While I was really pissed off at first (ok, I was FURIOUS <– and what spurred that emotion is for another post) but I needed to find a way to turn that anger into something positive, something that would move us forward, not back. Dammit - I hate typing in italics. Anyways, Scott was right. There was no point in complaining, it’s not like we were going to pack our bags and move back to San Francisco because of a lack of restaurants! How lame would that be?!

So I worked it out with a small, local cooking school to teach a Chinese cooking class. OH BOY WAS I NERVOUS! For days leading up to the class, I went back and forth:

OMG! I’m teaching a cooking class!

Oh shit, I’m teaching a cooking class.

This will be fun!

Crap, I never went to culinary school - I have no cred. What if I suck?

But it was fabulous. And I loved it. More importantly, the students had a blast.

That first class was about 3 years ago. If you’d looove to explore a little more in the food world, I say, go for it! You can let yourself get consumed in excuses, or you can take that step and just do one thing every day to get you closer to what you want.

All I did was pick up the phone.

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Garlic Brandy Shrimp

Life doesn’t get much better than a 15-minute shrimp stir-fry that features brandy and butter. My Mom always tells me, “hot wokky, no stickky.” And it’s true. Let your wok or pan heat up before you add any of your ingredients. Swirl the hot oil around a bit so that it coats the entire surface of the pan. If you wok is super-hot it will immediately sear the surface of your shrimp, which will prevent it from sticking. In this recipe, I fry the shrimp halfway in hot oil, remove and then add it back in when the sauce comes together to finish cooking through. This gives the shrimp a nicely seared surface with an incredible snappy texture, instead of just boiling away in the sauce. And, the bonus? No goopy brown sauce.

Serves 4 as part of multi-course meal.

1 lb raw tail-on shrimp, deveined
1 tsp cornstarch
1/2 tsp kosher salt
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 tbl butter
2 stalks green onion, cut into 2” pieces
1 tbl brandy
1/2 tsp kosher salt
1/2 tsp sugar
2 tbl cooking oil
Rinse shrimp, pat completely dry and marinate in cornstarch and 1/2 tsp kosher salt for 5 minutes. Heat your wok or large skillet over high heat. When wok is hot, add 2 tbl cooking oil. When oil is hot and just starting to smoke, add shrimp. Fry until they are half-done, approximately 1-2 minutes. Remove from wok, leaving the oil in the wok.
Turn heat to medium-high. Add the garlic, fry for 10 seconds. Add the brandy, salt, sugar, butter. Cook sauce for 1 minute to thicken slightly. Add the half-cooked shrimp and green onion. Fry until shrimp are cooked through, about 2 minutes (depends on size of your shrimp)

I’ve never been interested in cooking traditional American BBQ, mainly because I do not like what I cannot control, and in this particular case, the BBQ grill is outside of my domain with a fat “trespassing renders marriage contract null and void“ sticker on the front. But to give my husband control over a hunk of brisket roasting away for over 6 hours in a pad-locked container with a 3 inch crusty, scratched plastic window is just way too much stress for my Type-A personality to handle. Is it done? Is it done? What does it look like? Is it ok? Do I need to baste? What if it fell over? Can I take its temperature? CAN I TOUCH??? PULEEEEZZZZE!?

I’d just rather not subject myself to that kind of torture.

So, when I was asked to cook alongside Ray Lampe, the famous “Dr. BBQ” for a charity event to benefit The Crescent City Farmers Market in New Orleans, it was no big deal. So what if he’s a BBQ Grand Champion with a couple hundred awards under his belt, can he pleat perfect dumplings one handed, fold laundry with the other and fend off 2 whining kids? Think not.

We met last week to shoot a few pics to market the event and at first glance, the razor-sharp spiky blonde hair, trophy belly, baggy black shorts, flavor-savor beard and a killer watch tattoo where time stops at 5:01pm was everything I had expected from a man who carried a name, Dr. BBQ, with swaggering authority.

While grilling skewered shrimp for the recipe below, Dr. BBQ casually mentions that he’s the new Executive Chef of Southern Hospitality Restaurant in New York owned by Justin Timberlake.

Holy hickory! I’m only ONE DEGREE OF SEPARATION from “Dick in a Box”!!!

How can I not embrace this larger than life chef who’s on a first name basis with a celebrity that I’d throw my lusty, naked body at? Apparently, the mere thought of SexyBack caused immediate brain damage and I ended up saying stupid things like, “do you ever get mistaken for Guy Fieri’s dad?” Ouch. I think I just insulted my one degree.

Can I CTRL-Z that comment?

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I made Oishii Eats Vietnamese Summer Rolls (Goi Cuon) with Cashew Nut Dipping Sauce this morning on television! They came out fantastic and the crew devoured them seconds after the camera shut off. In the video I show you how to roll ‘em tight!

Wanna watch?

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Chinese New Year is coming up in just a couple of weeks! It will be the Year of the Rat!

I’ll be sharing some of my favorite Chinese dishes with you - easy meals that you can whip up for the holiday. Chinese are big on food symbolisms - and some of the references are pretty far out there - but hey, if eating this hairy moss dish:

means that I might just win the lottery this year, I’ll take my chances. Traditionally, we eat noodles for Chinese New Year - which symbolizes long life. Just don’t cut the noodles before serving - you’ll be snipping your life short.

Super fast noodles

You can use any type of noodles for this dish - rice noodles (great for gluten-free), wheat noodles or in a pinch, use regular spaghetti noodles for the Fried Noodles with Garlic Shrimp dish.

Here are my favorite noodles to use when I’m in a hurry:

These noodles only take a couple of minutes to cook, because they are soft, fresh noodles not dried. When I make a trip to the Asian market, I grab a few packs and put them in the freezer. They freeze great and when ever you need a quick meal, just boil a pot of water, add the pack of frozen noodles in and in 2 minutes, they are ready. If you aren’t going to freeze them, it only takes 1 minute to cook. Timing of course depends on the thickness of the noodles you choose - check the packaging for instructions.

Fried noodle ingredients

You can use any type of vegetables: mushrooms, cabbage, bok-choy, spinach, bamboo shoots, tofu, snow peas, etc. The only rule is when adding the vegetables to the wok, add them in the order it takes longest to cook. HUH?! What did I just say? You know what I mean. Vegetables that take longer to cook go in first, fry a bit, then add the next vegetable. Cut your vegetables into nice, thin, easy to quickly fry pieces.

If using carrots, I suggest cutting into slivers, or super thin slices so that they can fry easily. I use my favorite tool in the whole world - the Oxo Julienne Tool. For less than $10, this baby has saved me time and nicked fingers. Plus, the vegetable comes out looking really pretty.

In my dish, I chose crunchy, fresh celery, carrots and scallions:

For meat/seafood - you can use shrimp, chicken, thinly sliced pork or beef. Or just keep it vegetarian. Totally up to you.

The Fried Noodle with Garlic Shrimp recipe is from this book:

Wei Chuan Chinese Rice and Noodles, my copy is well-worn and this book has tons of recipes for fried noodles, noodle soup, fried rice, rice dishes, etc. Recipes are in both English and Chinese.

Recipe after the jump!

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I scootched over to my friend, Sue Ann’s blog, noticed that she had a badge on her site, proudly proclaiming that her blog’s reading level is College Post-Grad level. Curious, I went to see what reading level Steamy Kitchen is, because I am a supporter of education and higher learning.

Crap. Must be because I used the words “HAIRY TWAT” once in a post.

Note: Up until about 4 minutes ago, my blog was at ELEMENTARY SCHOOL level. I added the words, “BUTT-HEAD” to this post and was immediately raised to JUNIOR HIGH level! WOOHOO!!!

I want to hear what your blog’s reading level is!

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