I don’t know if you have the upscale Chinese chain called P.F. Changs near you, but in 90’s Los Angeles, it was the chi-chi place to eat…a place to see and be seen, where the skinny, tall and deeluscious hung out waiting to be discovered by producers and sugar daddies. Me? I was an awkward, pimply-faced frog. That was an evening when I had a major case of “why can’t I look like them?!”

You see, I was born with thick, bushy eyebrows….thanks to my direct ancestors who probably had a great use for them. Thousands of years ago, those eyebrows protected my neanderthal ancestors from predators. All they would have to do wrap those thick cable brows around their head, do one of those primal yells and wave arms like an orangutan in heat. Predators would be scared shitless and skamper off. Of course unwrapping the brows proved quite complicated, as they had yet to invent the eyebrow pick or Paul Mitchell conditioner.

The next evolution of use was in the hot summer heat, those brows prevented forehead sweat from dripping down into the pot of horse stew quietly simmering on the outdoor firepit. My great-great grandfather probably was a world-class mah-jong player and his bushy brows shielded him from other players’ discovering his “mah-jong tells” My great-grand auntie most likely used her brows for fanning the hot porridge. My Mom’s second-cousin’s daughter even hung salted fish to dry on her brows.

And now the trait has passed on down to me. Obviously those eyebrows are destined for some great, honorable use, and I just totally ruined thousands of years of family legacy with a an innocent tool called the Tweezerman. I can blame it on that night when I thought what separated me from the sea of gorgeous models were my brows. How wrong I was. I had forgotten about family trait number two. I’m five-foot-two and fifteen pounds overweight.

While I never figured out how to grow an extra 6 inches, I did figure out how to re-create the flavors of P.F. Chang’s dish, Minced Pork Lettuce Cups. I’ve made a similar filling  with ground chicken, flavored by Hoisin (Chinese BBQ sauce) and Oyster Sauce…a little sweet…a little salty and requires no tweezing.

Chinese Pastries with Hoisin Chicken

If you don’t have dried Chinese black mushrooms, feel free to use fresh shitake mushrooms or any type of fresh mushrooms.

1/2 pound ground chicken
1 teaspoon soy sauce
1/2 teaspoon Shaoxing wine
1/2 teaspoon sesame oil
1 teaspoon cornstarch
1/4 teaspoon sugar
2 garlic cloves, finely minced
1/2 teaspoon freshly grated ginger
1/4 cup minced green onion
1/4 cup minced onion
1/4 cup minced canned bamboo shoots
1/4 cup diced Chinese black mushrooms (soaked overnight in cold water, stems removed)
1 tablespoon Oyster Sauce
1 tablespoon Hoisin Sauce
1 teaspoon garlic-chili hot sauce
1 package frozen puff pastry, thawed
1 egg + 1 tablespoon water (egg wash)

In a wok or large saute pan, heat 1 tablespoon of cooking oil over medium-high heat. When hot, add onion. Fry until onions are softened, about 1 minute. Add the green onions, garlic and ginger. Fry another minute until fragrant. Turn heat to high.

Add the marinated ground chicken, mushrooms and bamboo shoots. Fry until the chicken is about 80% cooked through. Add Oyster, Hoisin & hot sauce. Stir through. Taste…need more salt? (add soy or Oyster) need more sweet/salty? (add more Hoisin) heat? (hot sauce)  Spread out on plate to cool. Tip the plate to one side and discard excess juice.

Take your thawed puff pastry and cut each sheet into 4 squares. Spoon filling onto one side, brush egg wash on the edges and bring over to fold into a triangle. Pinch to seal tightly, place on baking sheet. Brush egg wash on the tops of the pastry. Repeat with remaining.

Bake 350F degrees for 20 minutes until golden brown. Serve with some hot sauce on side!

**Note on Chinese black mushrooms

I always have a stash of dried mushrooms in my pantry. If I know I’ll be using them the next day, I’ll just throw a few in a bowl with water and leave to soak overnight.

If I’m pressed for time, I’ll use hot water and also microwave for 10 minutes (timing really depends on how thick your mushrooms are)

***

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These are my Mother’s famous Egg Rolls. I think every cook should have a dish they perfect and be known for! We grew up in North Platte, Nebraska in the ’70s, and these babies were the talk of the town. My Mom, who spoke no English, made friends through feeding people Chinese food. Now, we’re talking about an itty bitty town where “gourmet” was the restaurant inside the local airport. Chinese food back then was “Egg Foo Young” and “Chop Suey.” To this day, our friends who still live in North Platte still remember my Mom’s famous Egg Rolls. When I went off to college and moved away from home, I craved these Egg Rolls and would beg Mom to make them when I came home to visit. In fact, there were a few times that I came home just for the food. I think that’s why she never taught me the recipe until just 4 years ago. It was her secret weapon to get me to come visit! The skin is light and crispy (unlike the thick, starchy and chewy ones that you find at most Asian restaurants), the filling is airy, delicately seasoned, and full of wonderful textures.

Its a long recipe and takes time to make, but I usually make about 50 of them at a time and freeze half. Sometimes I host an “Egg Roll Party,” gather my girlfriends and we make a couple hundred to divide between us.

Spring Roll vs. Egg Roll? Well, my family has always called the fried version “Egg Rolls.” Its confusing, and there isn’t a so-called standard of what each of those names mean. The best explanation I found is here.

Egg Roll Wrappers: They are sometimes called Spring Roll Wrappers. (They are NOT: mu-shu wrappers, lumpia wrappers, rice-paper wrappers) They are found in the frozen section in the Asian market. Buy an Asian brand. Do not buy an American brand found in the produce department that look like pasta sheets. Those are too thick and have way too much starchy-ness to them. Just not the same.

Freezing Egg Rolls: Freeze them immediately after you roll the Egg Rolls. Line them up single layer on a tray (see photo below) - and place in the freezer. Once they are frozen, you can put them in a freezer zip-lock bag and store in the freezer. If you don’t put them on a tray first, they wrappers will stick to each other and you’ll end up with a giant frozen clump-o-eggroll. To cook, just fry them frozen. They will take a little longer to fry up, but will taste just as good Re-heating Egg Rolls: Lets just say you happen to have leftover fried egg rolls - which NEVER happens in my house, but lets just say…. Cover the leftovers and place in refrigerator. The next time you are hungry, like at 2 a.m., pop them in your toaster oven or oven directly on the rack. 375 for 5-8 minutes. They will crisp up again nicely. If you microwave, they’ll end up hot, soggy eggrolls. Still good, but soggy.

Golden Rules: There are 3 ancient Chinese secrets to making the best Egg Rolls. Here they are: 1. Take care of the wrappers - To defrost the wrappers, place on counter-top for 1 hour, or refrigerator overnight. Do not put in microwave or defrost in water. It will ruin the delicate wrappers. Once you open the package, them the wrappers covered under a damp towel. They will dry out otherwise and crack. 2. Filling ingredients must be dry, otherwise they will make the Egg Rolls soggy and won’t fry up well. You can do why my Mom taught me, tilt the pan and prop up one end to let the liquid drip down. Then you can easily spoon out the extra liquid. 3. Cover the wrapped egg rolls. Keep them under a damp towel so that they don’t dry out. Once you wrap them, keep them on a single layer on a baking sheet (see photo below). If you aren’t ready to fry right away, cover with plastic wrap and place in refrigerator. For another great recipe using egg roll wrappers, try my Firecracker Shrimp with Sweet Chili Sauce!

My Mother’s Famous Chinese Egg Rolls

1 lb center-cut pork loin, trimmed & cut into very thin strips
1 package of Spring Roll/Egg Roll Wrappers, defrosted

Marinade Ingredients:
2T soy sauce
1 ½ T rice wine
1 t cornstarch
¼ t sugar
1 t sesame oil

Filling Ingredients:
¼ head of cabbage
3 medium sized carrots
½ cup canned bamboo shoots
6 dried Chinese black mushrooms, soaked in water overnight (*you can use fresh shitake mushrooms instead)
2 T Chinese rice wine
3/4 t sugar
2 T soy sauce
1 t sesame oil
½ t cornstarch
2 t salt
½ t ground pepper
3 garlic cloves – through garlic press

Marinate the meat: -Combine the above and add the pork. Toss to coat – marinate in refrig for at least 10 minutes.

Prepare Filling: -In food processor with shredder attachment (or you could do this on hand grater) – finely shred the carrot and cabbage. Place in large bowl. -Squeeze mushrooms dry and discard stems. Mince the mushrooms (or use food processor with regular blade). -Cut bamboo shoots into match-stick sized pieces. -Add to vegetable filling mixture all of the rest of the seasonings in the ingredient list.

Fry the Ingredients: -Heat wok or large fry pan over high heat. Add 2T of cooking oil and heat until very hot. Add pork only. Stir-fry 2 minutes, or until cooked. -Remove and place on a baking sheet to cool. -Reheat the wok. Add 2T cooking oil. Stir-fry the vegetable filling mixture. If you have a small wok or pan, you may have to divide and stir fry half at a time. Stir fry for about 5 minutes, or until the cabbage and carrots are softened, but not soggy. Add this to pork. -Spread the mixture around – mixing the pork and vegetable. Set aside to cool, with the baking sheet tilted to one side to allow all juices to drain to one end of the sheet. Remove any juice. Also with several paper towels, pat the top of the mixture, soaking up any extra oil/juice.

Wrap the Egg Rolls: -Open package of defrosted wrapper – cover with damp towel at all times. -To make the “paste” – combine 1/2 cup of water and 1 tablespoon of flour or cornstarch. Take one sheet of wrapper. Place 1-1/2T to 2T of filling on corner of wrapper, leaving the corner itself free. Fold over that corner, roll up half way. Fold over left and right corners to middle. Using finger or brush, dab the flour paste on the remaining corner and edges of the wrapper. Finish roll and press to secure. As you roll the Egg Rolls, make sure you cover them with slightly damp towel so that they don’t dry out.

Fry the Egg Rolls: Fill wok or large pot with oil – enough so you have at least 2 inches of oil. (You could use a deep fryer). Heat oil until 375 degrees, or until a cube of bread will fry to golden brown within 10 sec. Cook the egg rolls 4 at a time, turning constantly until golden brown. Place on wire rack or on paper towels to drain.