For the past year, Andrew has been asking me, “Mama, can I do a cooking show with you?” and I’ve kinda resisted, mainly because a 5 year old boy…specifically MY 5 year old boy is quite unpredictable. How do I know that he’s not just going to blurt out my dirty laundry on LIVE TV???

There’s no bleep button on the control board (I’ve checked) and even if there was, how would I signal the producer to bleep out the part when Andrew would spontaneously shout out, “My mama dances naked on the bed to ‘Careless Whisper.’”

Like, totally embarrassing to let the world know that I still, even after the gerbil incident (wait, was that a different dude?) and knowing that he’s so totally gay that I’d fling my naked body at George Michael if he rang my doorbell. Read the full story