If there ever was a time when I wondered why I never dated an Italian, it would be now. You see, I slept my way through a culinary education.

Yes, my friends, I whored myself out to learn the secrets of authentic Mexican steak tacos, Vietnamese pho ga, Cantonese steamed chicken, American BBQ ribs, Taiwanese deep fried tofu, Korean bi bim bap, Persian polow, Scottish haggis art of eating out every night, Japanese yakitori, French technique of cooking fish, Singaporean…..hmmm, that guy was totally hopeless. Oh yes, and the hunky Thai fling who taught me how to make curry paste.

Before that look of “OMG she didn’t!”settles on your face, permanently creating an extra wrinkle on your forehead, let me further explain. No, I didn’t sleep with all of them…just seduced them enough to divulge their secret family recipes. I only slept with them if I needed access to their mothers, grandmothers or grand-auntie for further clarification of ingredients or technique. I mean, really….you can only understand so much of a recipe between moans.

We all know that the best food comes from grandma’s kitchen - so why spend $80,000 going to the Culinary Institute of America to learn from chefs who learnt from other chefs who learnt from someone’s grandma?

I say go right to the source! It takes zero money, less time and I didn’t have to wear a silly chef’s hat while hustling mastering ancient culinary secrets.

One day, I might just have to even (TM) this technique. All I know is that if I ever got my own cooking show, young children and cute puppies would probably have to cover their ears.

What in the world would you call my cooking show…Boy Meets Bimbo? Jaden’s Big O? Barefoot Tramp? Harlot on the Street? Molto Skank? Unzipped? Semi-Whoring with Jaden Lee? The Hungry Hooker? Good Eats with Loose Women?

Oh please laugh.

I’m just joking.

Sort of.

So I’ve never had an Italian boyfriend. Which is precisely why I’ve never made gnocchi before. I finally decided to experiment, because of this dinner where I experienced the most sensual gnocchi ever in my entire life. I just had to re-create this in my own kitchen. No potato - I used whole milk ricotta. Instead of boiling the gnocchi, I pan fried ‘em in butter. And in lieu of a sauce, I opted for simple, bright and tingling: browned butter, lemon and pepper.

I bought one of those wooden grooved doo-hickeys. I don’t even know what they are called. It turns out that since I fried them, I really didn’t need to use the thingamajibber, as the grooves disappeared.

Please try this recipe - I know you will fall in love with this Italian nugget. Slightly crunchy, carmelized exterior gives way to soft, voluptuous, passionate, and soulful interior….just like an Italian lover.

Pan-Fried Lemon-Ricotta Gnocchi

1. Combine ricotta, parmagiano, yolk, zest and salt in large bowl. Mix well. Sprinkle half of the flour on the mixture, gently turn with spatula a few times to incorporate. Dump mixture on clean, lightly floured countertop. Sprinkle remaining flour on top of the mixture. Gently knead with your fingertips, just bringing together the mixture until flour is incorporated through. This only should take a minute or two. Any longer and you will be over-kneading. *If you are using skim milk ricotta - you may have to use more flour, as there is more water content in skim ricotta.

Dough should look like this:

2. Divide dough into 4 parts. Take one part and roll into a long, 1″ diameter log. Cut gnocchi into 1″ pieces. You may use your wooden doobie-bopper or tines of a fork to get those pretty grooves that will eventually disappear after frying anyways.

3. Heat skillet over medium-high heat. Add butter and olive oil. when butter is just lightly browned, add gnocchi in single layer. Fry on one side for 2 minutes, flip. Add chilli. Fry other side for 1-2 minutes. Timing really depends on how big/thick your gnocchi is. Do a taste test - do you taste flour? Not done yet. Does it taste like a beautiful Italian’s luscious lips? Then its done. Serve with a sprinkling of lemon zest, parmegiano and parsley.

This post inspired Food Fusion to make this:

You think I’m kidding?

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I am certainly not as talented as Gattina, who created a perfect Orange & Chilli Ricotta Cheesecake . Even her description of the cheesecake is so poetic….”a little shy girl who needs a little nudging to shine in the spotlight.”So, you know where I’m going with this. My version, not so elegant, is like a teenage girl discovering miniskirt, push-up bra and hot pink lipstick for the first time.
My last experiment with frozen yogurt was so delicious that I just had to try a sexier version. The ricotta makes the yogurt smooth and rich. The chilli is a sensation that only lingers for a second, tracing the path of the cool yogurt as it moves from tip of tongue to back of throat.

Of course, you don’t need me to remind you to buy David’s book if you can find it. This is where the homemade frozen yogurt craze started, and my Orange Chilli Ricotta Frozen Yogurt is just an adaptation of his methods. I don’t even own his book yet! When I was in L.A. last week, I couldn’t find the book in 3 different shops around town. David emailed back and said to stop being so damn inefficient and just click over to Amazon and just buy it from there. Sheesh. Has the internet taken over our lives? Maybe I can get the internet to do my laundry too.

Orange Chilli Ricotta Frozen Yogurt

For the photo above, I used a whole dried chilli and crushed with morter & pestle (you could pulse with a spice grinder.) If you are using chilli flakes, run a knife though the flakes. You want a finer consistency than large flakes. If you want to use chilli powder, then just start with a generous pinch and taste. You can always add more! Yes - the course sea salt for sprinkling is important! Please don’t skip this. The salt really brings together the sweet and savory parts of the dessert.

3 cups greek-style yogurt *if you don’t have greek style yogurt, see note below
rind from 1 orange (finely grate with rasp grater)
1/4 cup ricotta
1/4-1/2 teaspoon finely crushed, dried chilli
3/4 teaspoon fine sea salt
3/4 cup sugar

Garnish
additional course sea salt, for sprinkling
additional grated orange rind, for sprinkling

1. Combine all ingredients except the garnish. Taste…does it need more chilli or salt? Let the mixture sit in the refrigerator for at least 1 hour.

2. Following instructions (if you can find them) that came with your ice cream maker, churn until it becomes the consistency that you like. My ice cream maker takes 25 minutes.

3. When ready to serve, sprinkle with some grated orange rind and course sea salt.

*If you don’t have greek-style yogurt, use 6 cups of plain, whole milk yogurt. Line a strainer with a couple of layers of cheesecloth. Spoon yogurt on cheesecloth and let that strain for at least 4 hours in the refrigerator in a bowl large enough to catch the water that strains out. 6 cups of plain, whole milk yogurt will yield 3 cups strained.

I’m not the only one with ice cream and chilli on my mind….check out Cloudberry Quark’s Lemon Chilli Ice Cream