I’m not on the front page, thankfully. But I am in the food section!

This is my debut as a weekly columnist in the Tampa Tribune newspaper! I’ll be in there once a week with a “Steamy Kitchen” column.

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Dear John….

To my dear Creative Loafing.…

We’ve had a whirlwind of a romance these past 6 months. You’ve been a wonderful partner but, sadly, I must go. I’ve found someone else. And no, I’m not fucking Matt Damon.

There’s no easy way to break up, except to just tell the truth. He’s older, more mature and…sigh…has a bigger masthead. I’d be lying if I told you that size doesn’t matter, because right now at this stage in my life and career, it does.

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I am never a woman with few words. But I think the story of what happened last weekend may not really require any explanation. Read the full story

Thinking about re-painting our bathroom…came home with these paint samples and discovered they all had something in common. And I’m not joking about the names of the paint!

But seriously, they need to fire whoever is getting paid to come up with paint names. I don’t know if I’d ever eat Lobster Bisque if it came out looking like the Pink Panther.

Name the color of your walls, using food terms!

Mine are:

• Cheapo Hershey’s Squeeze-Bottle Chocolate
• Hospital Pea Puree
• Severely Burnt Creme Brulee

But if I had to pick a color for my bathroom..
it might just have to be a nice, warm Grey POOPon.

There’s been a lot of “clicking” in the Steamy Kitchen household - both keyboard and camera. I’ve been pretty quiet for the past 2 weeks, busy teaching myself how to photograph for print, which is WAY different than photographing for the blog. While I’ve always thought that my food photos were pretty damn awesome, photographing for hi-res 350 dpi top-quality cookbook is another matter. Slight imperfections on a blog is fine - at lo-res you really don’t notice much. Plus, it’s kinda nice to have those imperfections on a blog - it just adds to the charm and authentic-ness of a home-cooked meal. But blow that same photo up and print at hi-res, and that little speck of sesame seed that was out of place?

IT LOOKS LIKE A MASSIVE RIPE ZIT.

So, with a bit of new gear, I turned the spare bedroom into a mini-photo studio (sorry MiMi and Papa), a small table as my “set”, photography lights, piles of fabric, a stack of placemats and a gazillion dishes, cups and chopsticks.

Oh yes, and a nice spot for my Van Gogh Double Espresso Vodka on the rocks.

By the way, the first time I brought a bottle home of the vodka, Scott raised an eyebrow at the concept of “double espresso” and “vodka” trapped in a single bottle.As if my mood swinging PMS marathons once a month weren’t quite enough, now he’s gotta deal with the UPPER! OF! THE! DOUBLE! ESPRESSO! and then the ……….downer……….of.……….the……….vodka..…

That roller coaster ride follows every single sip. He’s since hid the bottle from me and has replaced it with fancy schmancy Italian soda, which I actually really enjoy.

Anyways, since whatever I’ve been cooking for the photo shoot ends up on my dinner table, it’s been a challenge to get the absolute perfect shot while keeping the food looking fresh without being manipulated so that we can devour it for supper. Shellac, glycerin and hot glue aren’t just part of our family diet at the moment, and I’m quite sure it would cause massive bouts of constipation.

Wanna see some pics?

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