I asked my Mom for a couple of Chinese New Year recipes to give to you, and here is one she came up with, called 100 Flower Blossoms.

This dish is meant to wish you a blossoming and beautiful beginning in the new year. Mom chose broccoli and cauliflower for their plentiful florets, and the carrot slices to add an important splash of vibrant color to the dish. The swirly egg white sauce is luxurious, you can also add cooked crab meat to the sauce as well, which is what my mom prefers.

It’s important that you do add colors of orange and green to this dish – those color must balance out the white of the egg white and cauliflower. You can substitute red bell peppers for the carrots – but please – remember that Chinese Mamas know what’s best. Color is especially important for Chinese New Year dishes. White is mostly worn to symbolize the opposite of birth. Listen to my Mama. She said so.

Oh yes, do you see how perfectly vibrant the broccoli is? Do not overcook the vegetables.

Why?

Well, you want a VIBRANT new year, don’t you? Cuz a dull and soggy 2009 would totally suck!

But shhh…don’t tell her I was too lazy to go to the store and get a can of crabmeat.

Continue reading 100 FLOWER BLOSSOMS RECIPE

See all the miniscule blossoms of the cauliflower and broccoli? More like a 100,000, not 100!

In response to the latest buzz about the lawsuit against Deceptively Delicious author, Jessica Seinfeld, I’m launching my own Steamy campaign against the entire concept of hiding vegetables in your kids food. But all in good humor.

Seinfeld’s recipes included stuff like, Carrot and Spinach Brownies, Cauliflower Banana Bread, Broccoli Gingerbread.

Like, totally. Gag me with an asparagus spear.

Do you even know how many Flaxseed Chicken Nuggets my kids can slingshot across the room in 12.3 seconds with one hand tied behind their backs? The long term effect of sneaking foods into your kids meals is the under appreciation of the taste of real vegetables. Plus, do you want kids to grow up with confusion over what mashed potatoes really taste like? When their school friends come over for supper, they’ll wonder why the hot dogs have a green tinge and smell like the wrong end of a hippo. That, my friends, leads to worse things than not eating greens, like social anxiety, adult bedwetting and a plethora of disorders that require expensive medication.

If we’re going to dupe our kids into eating healthily, let’s do it right. There are a variety of tactics that I employ in the Steamy Kitchen household, borrowed mainly from my husband’s old West Point Military Academy handbook and his 7 years as a Anthony Robbins trainer.

Bribery: “If you eat your broccoli, I’ll give you an extra 50 cents for college.”

Blatent Honesty: “See this picture of Uncle Jimmy? We call him lard-ass. He didn’t eat kale.”

Hostile Negotiations: “If you don’t clean your plate, I’ll whip Buzz Lightyear with a fishing pole and shock him with cattle prod.”

Neuro-Linguistic Programming: “It’s funny how much the more you try to resist the natural urge to eat brussels sprouts , the more you keep wanting it, getting more and more excited about what you are tasting in your mouth at this very moment in time.”

Exploiting Sibling Competitiveness: “If you eat your carrots, I’ll love you way more than your brother.”

Jedi-Talk: “Try? There is no try. Just eat your goddamn vegetables.”

Good Cop/Bad Cop: “Dude. If I were you, I’d just stuff those carrots in your  mouth. Mom’s coming and she’s on her 6th straight day of PMS. Don’t want to be on the receiving end of that monster.”

Sponteneous Egomania: “SPINACH?! You can’t handle the spinach! Son, I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Cheetos and curse the alfalfa sprouts. I would rather you just said “thank you,” and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest that you pick up that spinach and eat it like a man. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to.”

Injection of Guilt: “You have NO IDEA how many miles your father had to walk up the steep mountain, in Florida snow, carrying 50 pounds of oranges, wearing flipflops to get that tofu on your dinner plate.” or “Do you know how many pairs of Gap jeans your little cousin in China had to sew to so we could buy this bok-choy?” (ok, that was baaaad….spank me)

And my favorite technique of all, Funny Food Names – laughing so hard you don’t notice you’re eating seaweed.

Furikake French Fries (pronounced Furrrrr-ee-kokkkkkkyyyyy)

if you say that 10 times fast. you might fart.

Yes, it’s a real word. Furikake is a Japanese condiment that includes dried bonito flakes, seaweed, sesame seeds and other seasonings. Find it at most Asian markets. While normally used to sprinkle on steamed rice, I sprinkled it on a fresh batch of french fries for a really cool sweet/salty hit. You can make homemade french fries with a good mandolin like I did, but I find the frozen kind easier to bake.

*DISCLAIMER: Yeah, I know this isn’t a healthy recipe. Get your kids to like seaweed FIRST with french fries, THEN switch it up on them – sprinkle Furikake on steamed broccoli, spinach, tofu…whatever!

This is another technique called Bait and Switch. This double-technique is for the experienced only. Amateurs do not try.

Furikake comes in a small can, with a pull-tab so you can shake out the furikake (heehee! I love saying that word!) There are many different flavors.

Furikake French Fries

*Gluten Free notes: the Furikake that I purchased included soy sauce, which has wheat. However, you can make your own seaweed salt mixture. Purchase unseasoned seaweed (brush with GF tamari, toast for a few seconds over open flame, crush) + sesame seeds + sea salt)

1 bag of frozen french fries
(if making own from scratch and frying instead of baking like a bad parent- see below)
2 tbl furikake seasoning
sea salt or kosher salt

Follow the directions on the bag of your frozen french fries. Be a good parent and bake ‘em instead of frying. Bake until golden and crispy. While the french fries are still hot, season with salt and furikake seasoning.

If you choose make homemade french fries, budget 1 large russet potato per person, after cutting, soak your fries in cold water at least 30 minutes, drain and pat very dry. The soak helps remove excess starch and produces a crisper fry. Heat your oil to 325F. Fry in batches for 1-3 minutes depending on thickness of fry, drain. Increase heat to 375F and re-fry to crisp for 30 seconds-1 minute. Drain and season while hot.

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It’s my new favorite word now and can be used in many different ways. The moment you feel angry, instead of cussing, just say Furikake. Guaranteed to snap you out of your foul mood.

That Mother-FURIKAKE cut me off again!
FURIKAKE You!
Yo mamma is a FURIKAKE!
What the FURIKAKE?
Yippy-Ki-Yay Mother-FURIKAKE! (thanks Dave)

Come on, guys, you can do better than I can! Share with me your kid-duping techniques! How about a way to use FURIKAKE in a sentence????

My dear friends, I have a nice little gift for you.

::tap dancing with excitement!!::

A few weeks ago, I ordered my yearly supply of Saffron from my fav supplier. I wrote to them, asking if they be willing to donate some saffron for a contest that I wanted to hold – and they generously said, “YES!”

I’m not talking about a few wispy threads in a teeny tiny jar the size of my thumb. I’m talking about a mountain of saffron so big that you’ll giggle and squeal with delight.

Just so you know, I’m NOT getting paid to promote their stuff - I contacted them with the idea of a random drawing.

Let’s talk about saffron for just a bit. If you aren’t familiar with how saffron is graded or how to judge good saffron from the crappy stuff – here’s a little lesson.

What is the stuff and why is it so *(&#!!&*$%% expensive?

Saffron is known as the world’s most expensive spice. It is the stigma from a Crocus flower. Each flower produces 3 saffron threads, which must be harvested delicately by hand and dried. Itakes over 13,000 threads to make one ounce!!! My photo above is one ounce of saffron. <–photo from Wiki

Crocus Sex 101 The top part of the stigma (above the dotted line) is the “saffron” – this is the only part of the thread that has flavor and intense color. These are the goods.

The bottom part (below the dotted line) is the shitty stuff, called the style. It has virtually no culinary value – being aromaless, tasteless and gives no color to your dish. Some evil saffron sellers will try to package the entire thread as “saffron.”  Bastards.

So, to judge quality of saffron, you can just simply look at the color of the threads and see if you have a lot of the shitty style part attached. Of all places that I get my saffron, the most consistent quality + best prices have been with Saffron.com, which is based in San Francisco. (hey, you San Franciscan’s out there – give me your input on this company…have you purchased from them before and do you know anything about the company?)

To use saffron, you first soak a pinch of threads in a couple tablespoons of warm water to release its flavors, color and aroma. When the recipe calls for the saffron to be added, just add the threads + water to the dish.

The contest details are at the end of this post….keep reading!

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The Great Saffron Drawing!

Ok. Enough chit-chatting. Let’s get to it.  I’d like to compile a list of favorite saffron recipes. We’ll have 3 winners. Each gets one ounce of saffron threads.

Here’s what you do to enter the drawing.

What is your favorite dish using saffron? It can be from your site or someone else’s site. It can be a recipe you’ve tried or it can be one that just looks delicious. See, I’m making it really really simple.

1. Write the name of the dish below in the form. Link to the dish.
2. In the comments section, write a comment letting me know that you want to be entered in the contest.

That is all. But you have to do both steps to be eligible. And hey, don’t be lazy and just google “saffron recipe” and link to whatever comes up first….because if I decide to actually try the recipe and it sucks duck-egg, I’m gonna have to come after you with a meat tenderizer and a turkey baster. <– not a good thing.

Contest ends Thursday, October 11th at noon. I’ll then put your names on little bits of paper, stick it in a blender and see which one survives. Just kidding. I’ll have one of my kids pick out 3 winners. The company, Saffron.com will ship directly to you. Good deal? Any questions? Ask away!!!

Enter Name of Dish and link to the dish

STEP 1: Forget Mr. Linky’s directions, follow mine (hey give me a break. It’s a free plugin. I can’t customize it) Enter name of the saffron dish.  I don’t care who you are in this section. Just type in name of dish (i.e. “Saffron Cherry Rice”) and the link to it. You can list more than one recipe. I don’t care.

STEP 2: In the COMMENTS section, enter your name and say something nice like, “Princess Jaden, you awe me with your grace, blind me with your beauty and inspire me with your angelic aura of innocence.” Ok, just joking. But really, just comment – that is your ticket to entry.

oh p.s. if you comment below and it doesn’t show up, my spam filter must think you are trying to sell me drugs, porn or alcohol. If you are trying to solicit drugs or alcohol, f*ck off. If you’re trying to sell me porn or are entering this contest, email me at jan (at) steamykitchen (dot) com.

another p.s. WE HAVE A TIE on which blogger dish I should cook on television next week. We can’t have a tie! Vote!

UPDATE:   We are holding the drawing at 4pm when my kids get home. They are the PWCs of this drawing.  You have a few more hours!!!

My Tropical Island Salmon tied for First Place Overall Winner in DMBLGIT! I am so honored, giddy and tickled pink salmon. Thank you!

On Monday, I also won the 2007 Chamber of Commerce Minority Business of the Year honoring my husband and my other business, Digital Doctors. Should I go out and buy a lottery ticket?!? If I ever win the lottery, I swear I will buy all my readers a new rice cooker….all 5 of you!