Is there some massive blogger identity theft ring that I should know about?

I’m a relatively new blogger living in a city whose average age of residents is 76. The most happenin’ place in town is the early bird happy hour at Bob Evans – their menu is popular because it consists of very soft, easy to gum foods like mashed potatoes and pureed Viagra. Not much happening here in this town, and I’ve lost some of my big city edginess and guard.

I’ll admit that I’m pretty naive to this whole blogging world. I just have some questions for you veterans, because you know, I don’t want to do anything stupid to jeopardize like the rest of my life or anything.

Why do most bloggers not show real identities or real photos? I’ve seen sites with nicknames, initials, lips, cartoon characters. It just seems silly to me to call my husband “S’ or my kids, “Thing #1 and #2.” I’m not a known felon, nor am I in any witness protection program. I haven’t been an employee for a company in over 10 years, so I’m not afraid of pissing anyone off. Is there some massive blogger identity theft ring that I should know about?

Should I put the black bar over my eyes like in the back page of fashion magazines where they show the FASHION DON’TS??! I swear I don’t wear daisy dukes with hooker heels….only with my CFM boots.

Maybe its the other way around. Maybe bloggers don’t want their friends and families snoopin’ around their blogs, because then you can’t say stuff like, “My sister is a slut who would sleep with donkey ass for attention” (just kidding. I don’t have a sister.)

Or MAYBE, just maybe having my real name and photo just makes me a prime target for sites like a certain she-male site. I just looked at my blog stats (because thats what all new bloggers do) and I got a referral from that site. But I can’t get in the site to check it out because I’m obviously not a member. I can only imagine that entire society of transgenders, cross-dressers and transvestites somehow found my blog through the world-sex-news website (another referrer who sent over 63 people to my blog the past 5 days) and are totally laughing at my photo, “haha! this is what Bob would look like if he got his brows waxed!!”

Ah, but they found me because I ate cod fish sperm sacs and frog fallopian tubes! I guess all them sex-addicts got all sophistercated ‘n stuff and have search engine spiders scanning the blogs for posts with the phrases like “sperm sac” or “donkey ass.”