On the set of CBS10 in Tampa – pouring drinks and showing how to open a pomegranate without a squirty mess <- short video clip
Last week, my mom, dad and handsome, smart, cardiologist, SINGLE brother from California came to visit us in Florida and see the kids. We usually have family visits a few times a year, but generally they are short, I repeat, short visits spanning just a handful of days, because while I totally love my Mom, we have very similar personalities and sometimes specific personality traits (ahem: stubborness, bossyiness and must-be-in-controlness) clash to the extreme.
Scott, Jay and Dad have learned to side step out of the way during the moments of mother-daughter clashes. For no smart male would ever want to get in the way of two BICKERING CHINESE WOMEN on a mission to be right.
Don’t get me wrong, Mom and I absolutely adore and love each other very much and no way in hell would I ever want to trade Mom in for another mom out there. But we are woven out of the same vivid, hot, red silk cloth. A magical silk cloth that can instantly transform into ITCHY BROWN BURLAP if rubbed the wrong way.*
So the visits are short for the well being and health of the universe.
But I really do love my Mama. Really Really Truly Really.**
This trip was scheduled to last exactly one week, with a trip to Miami in the middle to have a bit of fun, visit friends and stay in a hotel where I didn’t have to care whether or not the kids wiped their boogers on the walls.***
Then Mom sprang the surprise on me.
She asked me if she and Dad could move here. Not just “here” as in somewhere within the state of Florida or close enough to drive a few times a year…but “here” as in within earshot distance.**** Dad’s retiring in a few months and they’d love to live closer to the grand kids, be able to pick them up from school, help with babysitting and of course, cooking.
Oh, the battles back and forth I went debating this situation But in the end, the lure of FREE BABYSITTING AND MOM’S HOME COOKING won me over. How could you blame me? Babysitters are expensive!
Yes, I’m a cheap bastard and easily bribed with food.
So, we’ll see how it all works out, but they’ll only be staying during the winter months when Florida becomes paradise for old people because the weather is tame and a bunch of the chain restaurants specialize in “gummable” foods like pureed peas, soggy carrots and mashed potatoes.
*Was going to buy my Mom her first computer, but I think I’d better wait until this post drops into the archives and off the front page.
**Just in case her friends with computers read my blog. OH I’M JUST KIDDING.
***I don’t even want to begin to tell you how much I’m battling this right now with Nathan. THE CHILD EATS HIS BOOGERS and licks his fingers like it’s the best thing in the world. That’s just so gross.
****For two bickering, angry Chinese women, “earshot” really means about 5 mile radius.
I have so much more to tell you about our Miami trip – where I had one of the absolute best meals of my life at Trump International Beach Resort, created by this genius, Executive Chef Kurtis and Pastry Chef Fabian – but the story deserves more attention than I have the energy for at the moment. All of us, Andrew, Nathan, Scott and I are sick for the 4th day in a row. It sucks. And we have to all get better by Wednesday, as we’re headed to Club Med Dominican Republic for a press trip. All of us are going, even the kiddos, and I’ll be a guest Peter Greenberg’s nationally syndicated radio show. Peter is the travel editor for NBC’s Today show. So, I’d better be in tip-top shape pronto or I’ll end up sounding like a coughing baboon.
You know, there is just no real good way to do blog giveaways. I don’t have no PricewaterhouseCoopers to audit the drawing and to keep the sealed envelope holding the winner’s name secure. It’s just not in my blog budget.
So, how is the winner picked fairly and how do you, as a contestant know that I’m not just picking my friends as the winners or only the cute guys? Maybe someone bribed me? How do you know how “random” the random number generator is? How to prevent someone from entering in more than once?
Hmm…there seems to be a nice little business model here – millions of blogs, thousands of giveaways each week and just charge a few dollars to administer the giveaway? I mean, there isn’t much work involved, just create some nifty program. I’d totally pay someone $25 to register my giveaway and have them generate a random number and certify that that number has not been changed or whatever.
Anyways, short of this magic blog giveaway administrator, you’ll just have to trust me on this one. But please, will someone out there start this service? Or if this service already exists, someone please smack me with a turkey leg?
Out of 1,086 comments, there will be three winners, one of the winners is only chosen from the smaller pool of people who had a bonus entry.
Merryann Palmer Says:
November 16th, 2008 at 11:11 pm e
These knives are just beautiful! I would dearly love to win the Fusionwood 6″ Chef in Jessica (I’m a bit of a traditionalist). This is one knife that I haven’t gotten around to replacing since my DH decided to use mine as a pry bar & broke the tip off. Then he had the audacity to tell me that the blade was unsanitary (it was a high carbon blade that discolored over the years)! Oh well.
Hi Marryann- congrats on winning a knife! I know you’ll totally love it. Tell your huzzie that if he ever tries to use your beautiful Fusionwood knife as a pry bar, I will personally come over and kick his ass. ~jaden
The Flirty Girl Says:
November 22nd, 2008 at 1:04 pm e
I would love to win the Phoenix Petty knife. When my hubby and I cook together we both always want to use my 6″ chef’s knife, I usually let him have it and have to settle for my 8 inch’er or my paring knife. Two chefs knives in the house would be fabulous!
Ms Flirty- Hello and congrats! Now you and husband can each have your own knives. No fighting over the Phoenix Petty, okay? I have this knife and use it every single day. Love it. btw, what’s up with all these husband knife issues??? hmmmm…there seems to be a theme going on ~jaden
November 16th, 2008 at 12:29 pm e
BONUS I’d love to win a Phoenix santoku for my wife so bad, that I put it on twitter also, http://twitter.com/jcopenha/status/1008353140
Thank you JCopenha for being of my Twitter fans! It’s a gorgeous knife – once you get it, you might regret saying that you want to give this to your wife. Though, if you do, you’d better get some good nookie for it! ~jaden