I’m finally going home tomorrow! Don’t get me wrong, I love visiting my parents, but I miss my husband and my bed. I want my bathroom towel warmer, I want my secret stash of chocolates that I hide in the refrigerator drawer labeled “vegetables.” I want to know that when I push those tiny, rubbery buttons in this particular order “170”at any given point, that someone whose sole goal is to pleasure me appears on TV and brightens my evening.
Simply put, I NEED MY COMFORTS THAT KEEP ME SANE.
Alright, enough whining, because really, I did have a fantabulous time in Los Angeles, I got to 
meet this woman. But really - don’t be fooled by her cute, blonde hair and (ding!) gorgeous, sparkling smile. She’ll flip your legs over head and have your body splayed on the floor in 2 seconds flat, with one-hand behind her back whipping egg whites. Mental note: don’t be stupid and challenge her to an arm wrestle after 3 glasses of wine.
I took the kids to Knott’s Snot’s Berry Farm one afternoon and after the 156th time on the choo-choo train that goes around and around and around and around on a track the circumference of a blow-up kiddie pool, I wanted to just grovel to the kid selling shaved ice cones to puulleeeeze spike my razzlin’ raspberry cone with some gin, vodka or your choice of whatever stashed in your back pocket.
