Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake

by SteamyKitchen on August 5, 2007 · 126 comments

I know…you’re all wondering….

What an elegant dessert….
a souffle, perhaps?
molten chocolate center?
did it take hours to make?

I am pleased to present to you, my Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake.  Never before in the history of desserts has there ever been such an luscious cake that is this good for your inner chocoholic self.

Yes. you heard me right. Not just “low fat” “low calorie” or even “no calorie”

Its NEGATIVE CALORIE.  Meaning, you earn credits for eating this dessert.

So, what makes this cake negative calorie?  Well first off, I made it with:

and replace the 1/2 cup of oil with this:

and nuke for 5 minutes in one of these:

WTF?!?!?  How dare she post a recipe on a food blog using Betty Crocker and a microwave?!?  Isn’t she violating section 4.6.2 of the Food Blog Code of Conduct? 

So, smack me silly with a violation, but I know that one night this week…oh…right around 9:00pm….when no one is watching…you are going to try this cake.  You’re asking yourself if this Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake from Betty C. tastes as delicious, luscious, moist and rich as it looks. Here’s your answer:

Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake

I always make this with Betty Crocker Super Moist Cake Mix Dark Chocolate (the one with a Hershey’s logo on it). I’m sure it will taste just as good with other brands of cake mix, but this is my preference. The ingredients below are based on the back of the box (with the exception of the banana) If you use a different brand of cake mix, follow their instructions for ingredients, replacing the banana for the oil or butter.  Of course, if you aren’t on a diet – ditch the banana idea and just use the oil/butter as the recipe calls for.

Note on the banana: It should be a super-ripe brownish banana…like in the photo above.  If you don’t have a super ripe banana and can’t wait – just use the oil/butter…the recipe just won’t work well with a firm, yellow banana.

Note on the microwave times:  Each microwave is different.  Use the times I have below and test with toothpick. Just note your final time so that you won’t have to check for doneness next time.

Prep time: 3 minutes  Cook time: 5-8 minutes (depends on how many you are making)
Serves: Depends on how hungry you are.  Makes about 8 ramekins

1 box Betty Crocker SuperMoist Cake Mix (Dark Chocolate) – or your fav cake mix
1 very ripe banana, smushed well with a fork
3 eggs
1 1/3 cups water
Cooking spray to spray the ramekins

In big bowl:  Smushed banana + eggs + water (whisk well)
Stir in cake mix (Stir vigorously for a couple of minutes until well mixed)
Pour into ramekins (sprayed lightly with cooking spray) until filled 2/3 full

Every microwave is different – here are some guidelines:
For 2 ramekins:  microwave on MEDIUM-HIGH (I set my microwave on power strength 8 ) for 5 minutes
For 3-4 ramekins:  6 minutes
For 5-6 ramekins:  7 minutes

Check with toothpick to see if cake is done.  Mushy cake mix stuck to toothpick? Add another 30 seconds.  Cake crumbs on toothpick? Done.

Top with warm chocolate sauce and maybe a little drizzle of reduced pomegranate juice:

But..but…but….how do you get negative calories with that???

Ok. brace yourselves.  Try to follow along now:

Betty Crocker Calories per serving 280
Replace the oil with a banana -40
Saving oven energy and using microwave instead -86
Saving time (10 minutes in micro vs. 40 in the oven) -43
Not having to look up a fancy recipe -05
For using up the ripe smushy banana – instead of tossing it -32
For not having to use your electric mixer – mixing by hand burns calories -47
For pleasing your inner “Instant Grat-Brat” (I want cake NOW!) -10
For being so clever – who else would combine BettyC+banana+micro ? -23
For using something very healthy and full of antioxidants (reduced Pomegranate Juice) -28
For…um….just because I said so -8
Grand Total -32

Can you see me on late-night infomercials pushing my Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake Diet???

Move over Atkins…here comes something steamy-er….

In case you don’t have ramekins, just pour in a 9×11-ish glass Pyrex pan (something microwave safe please) until batter reaches half way up the sides.  Microwave for 11 minutes medium-high, check for doneness. Cut into nice squares and enjoy.

Other ideas that I haven’t tried yet:
-drop a big chunk-o-chocolate in the middle of batter in each ramekin (will it turn into a molten chocolate cake?)
-add raspberries to batter
-applesauce instead of banana? Reader Renee suggested adding 1T oil to applesauce to keep moist

=====================

BONUS! And there’s more!

Look what happens when I take a white boy to a Chinese market! <== but please don’t click that if you’re a vegetarian

=====================

Look who is making Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake!
Email me jaden (at) steamykitchen (dot) com – and I’ll add you to the list.

Nine Day Holiday

Three Dog Kitchen

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{ 116 comments… read them below or add one }

Dan January 27, 2009 at 4:36 pm

Since when does saving time, saving energy, or not having to look up a fancy recipe burn calories? Or just because you say so??? Something tells me this cake is not negative calories.

SteamyKitchen January 27, 2009 at 4:52 pm

Dan- NO SHIT DIMWIT.

katherine February 2, 2009 at 8:01 pm

LOL….That cake looks way to good to be that many calories.I mean,if you wanna see and eat a cake that good…you will have to go to Olive Garden and look on their dessert menu.

But I don’t buy this for a second.

Chocofairy February 6, 2009 at 6:00 pm

OH MY GOD!
I’ve almost got a heart attack! Seeing the title and the first photo together made my brain explode!
Very great idea! I must try it!
And I love your calories count ^^

A KNESAL February 19, 2009 at 4:12 am

Jaden; Our cakes would be only a delicious! Negative… ‘one’(1).

We can’t claim..> “For being so clever – who else would combine BettyC+banana+micro ? -23″

And; …> “For…um….just because I said so -8″ (Proprietary)

Thanks! Jaden

PS! Will rubbing Bananas ripen them quicker?

Now where are my Ramekins?

Sarah February 20, 2009 at 12:06 pm

This recipe looks delicious! And so quick and easy. I love the idea of using the banana! I imagine you are right in your post, this is prob something that I will whip up at about 9 pm to satisfy my chocolate craving :)

Morgan March 8, 2009 at 2:02 pm

By using that sugary banana (especially a super ripe one)… You’re sticking just as many calories into it as if you were using oil. And NOT doing all of those things listed is really just one more excuse to sit on your fat tush and NOT burn extra calories.

This… Is dumb.

Now, I understand you were trying to be all cute and stuff… But, seriously?

hmmm….no sense of humor? I’d love to see how boring you are in bed ~jaden

Lisa March 10, 2009 at 12:27 pm

Your theory is completely wrong.
You don’t subtract calories just because. Yes, you can say that Betty Crocker starts with 230 and subtract from there for things like not using oil. However, you can’t just say that you subtract calories because you “were being clever” or “not looking up a recipe”. Honestly, Looking up a recipe would cause you to move around looking for a recipe, and therefore burn more calories. Sorry, but you would have to be a moron to believe this.

SERIOUSLY? Did sense of humor die this week? ~jaden

Sharon March 26, 2009 at 11:54 am

Morgan says:
March 8, 2009 at 2:02 pm
“By using that sugary banana (especially a super ripe one)… You’re sticking just as many calories into it as if you were using oil.”

No, by any means a banana is lesser in cals thn oil compared in the same quantity.
The banana she had used is at most 100 cals, and substitutes 1/2 cup of oil (which is about 7.5 tablespoonsful) and each tablespoonful of oil needs at least 100cals.

Source: http://www.dietbites.com/diet-cooking-oil-calories.html

“And NOT doing all of those things listed is really just one more excuse to sit on your fat tush and NOT burn extra calories.
This… Is dumb.
Now, I understand you were trying to be all cute and stuff… But, seriously?”

Hello, like why are you concerned about her burning or not burning calories? What are you to Jaden? If you comment tht she is dumb, please just leave to one of other 315849135 food websites. She did NOT charge any fee for you viewing her website so why is she supposed to customize to your needs. Just grow up and stop being jealous of Jaden.

I found those comments annoying so pardon me from being nosey. However, I LOL for the neg cals part. It was ultimate cute !

HUGS to you! xo, jaden

(U MH) My Best Stress Management Tips April 8, 2009 at 4:42 pm

Hi,

Banana contains of fruit suger and this must be better then oil, as this also gives fiber and other helathy ingredients.. instead of fat…

:)

Nikkita May 13, 2009 at 3:32 pm

Hahaha You’re awesome.
And I love how people are taking your subtractiveness so seriously.

Thank youuuu for brightening me day.

sad git August 12, 2009 at 12:03 pm

Just making sure its clear, as I think some people have missed it – this is a joke! The cake is 280 kcals, as stated in the table. It would be negative calorie if you ran fr an hour while eating it!

Ed September 19, 2009 at 3:30 pm

Yeah, she’s making a joke, I get that but actually, that’s not what puts me off – it’s the rude retorts to other people’s comments! Jeez, can’t you just tell them to lighten up instead of saying things like ‘no shit dimwit’ or ‘I cant’ wait to see how boring you are in bed’.

And to Sharon saying that people shouldn’t leave those comments – well, if Jaden only wanted comments of adoration, she shouldn’t have enabled comments on the post!

Samwise October 22, 2009 at 10:25 am

Good Lord yall are some uptight people.

Why do you care what retort she makes to your comment? You have every right to leave a nasty comment – and so does she! It’s her blog!

And if you’re that concerned about all the real calories that’s in a freakin CHOCOLATE CAKE (aka something that will always have more calories than what you want), you shouldn’t be looking at this recipe in the first place!!!!

Go eat a piece of lettuce instead. >.>

Jaden, I thought this was cute and funny. Anyone who actually believes you think you can magically substract calories for silly reasons is a dumbass – and I personally wish they had their posting privileges revoked so that the world would be a nicer place.

Rose November 11, 2009 at 3:07 am

I guess the only explanation for the comments is most folks find this article while their searching for a low cal cake so it’s disappointing when they realize you’re pulling their leg. The best way to cut calories in a piece of cake is to cut yourself a small piece of cake.

SteamyKitchen November 11, 2009 at 7:59 am

Rose- or not eat the cake at all? ;-)

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