Sunday, August 5, 2007

Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake

Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake

I know…you’re all wondering….

What an elegant dessert….
a souffle, perhaps?
molten chocolate center?
did it take hours to make?

I am pleased to present to you, my Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake.  Never before in the history of desserts has there ever been such an luscious cake that is this good for your inner chocoholic self.

Yes. you heard me right. Not just “low fat” “low calorie” or even “no calorie”

Its NEGATIVE CALORIE.  Meaning, you earn credits for eating this dessert.

So, what makes this cake negative calorie?  Well first off, I made it with:

and replace the 1/2 cup of oil with this:

and nuke for 5 minutes in one of these:

WTF?!?!?  How dare she post a recipe on a food blog using Betty Crocker and a microwave?!?  Isn’t she violating section 4.6.2 of the Food Blog Code of Conduct? 

So, smack me silly with a violation, but I know that one night this week…oh…right around 9:00pm….when no one is watching…you are going to try this cake.  You’re asking yourself if this Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake from Betty C. tastes as delicious, luscious, moist and rich as it looks. Here’s your answer:

Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake

But..but…but….how do you get negative calories with that???

Ok. brace yourselves.  Try to follow along now:

Betty Crocker Calories per serving 280
Replace the oil with a banana -40
Saving oven energy and using microwave instead -86
Saving time (10 minutes in micro vs. 40 in the oven) -43
Not having to look up a fancy recipe -05
For using up the ripe smushy banana – instead of tossing it -32
For not having to use your electric mixer – mixing by hand burns calories -47
For pleasing your inner “Instant Grat-Brat” (I want cake NOW!) -10
For being so clever – who else would combine BettyC+banana+micro ? -23
For using something very healthy and full of antioxidants (reduced Pomegranate Juice) -28
For…um….just because I said so -8
Grand Total -32

Can you see me on late-night infomercials pushing my Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake Diet???

Move over Atkins…here comes something steamy-er….

Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake

I always make this with Betty Crocker Super Moist Cake Mix Dark Chocolate (the one with a Hershey’s logo on it). I’m sure it will taste just as good with other brands of cake mix, but this is my preference. The ingredients below are based on the back of the box (with the exception of the banana) If you use a different brand of cake mix, follow their instructions for ingredients, replacing the banana for the oil or butter.  Of course, if you aren’t on a diet – ditch the banana idea and just use the oil/butter as the recipe calls for.

Note on the banana: It should be a super-ripe brownish banana…like in the photo above.  If you don’t have a super ripe banana and can’t wait – just use the oil/butter…the recipe just won’t work well with a firm, yellow banana.

Note on the microwave times:  Each microwave is different.  Use the times I have below and test with toothpick. Just note your final time so that you won’t have to check for doneness next time.

Prep time: 3 minutes  Cook time: 5-8 minutes (depends on how many you are making)
Serves: Depends on how hungry you are.  Makes about 8 ramekins

1 box Betty Crocker SuperMoist Cake Mix (Dark Chocolate) – or your fav cake mix
1 very ripe banana, smushed well with a fork
3 eggs
1 1/3 cups water
Cooking spray to spray the ramekins

In big bowl:  Smushed banana + eggs + water (whisk well)
Stir in cake mix (Stir vigorously for a couple of minutes until well mixed)
Pour into ramekins (sprayed lightly with cooking spray) until filled 2/3 full

Every microwave is different – here are some guidelines:
For 2 ramekins:  microwave on MEDIUM-HIGH (I set my microwave on power strength 8 ) for 5 minutes
For 3-4 ramekins:  6 minutes
For 5-6 ramekins:  7 minutes

Check with toothpick to see if cake is done.  Mushy cake mix stuck to toothpick? Add another 30 seconds.  Cake crumbs on toothpick? Done.

If you’d like, top with warm chocolate sauce and maybe a little drizzle of reduced pomegranate juice:

Reduced Pomegranate Sauce

In case you don’t have ramekins, just pour in a 9×11-ish glass Pyrex pan (something microwave safe please) until batter reaches half way up the sides.  Microwave for 11 minutes medium-high, check for doneness. Cut into nice squares and enjoy.

Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake

Other ideas that I haven’t tried yet:
-drop a big chunk-o-chocolate in the middle of batter in each ramekin (will it turn into a molten chocolate cake?)
-add raspberries to batter
-applesauce instead of banana? Reader Renee suggested adding 1T oil to applesauce to keep moist

182 Responses to “Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake”

  1. Sage Cat — 8/5/07 @ 10:03 am

    Not only do you have a beautiful site with gorgeous photos and yummy recipes, but you came up with a Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake!

    You’re my hero. ;)

  2. Ellie — 8/5/07 @ 10:11 am

    Darn you, woman! We get no Betty Crocker love here in Australia :( :( :( After all that anticipation from seeing the photo on Flickr….noooooooooo!

    Love your calorie counting, btw ;) Very clever!

  3. LunaPierCook — 8/5/07 @ 10:16 am

    “Negative calories”, eh? Sooo … the more I eat … the thinner I become … Mary!! I’m off to Kroger again!!!

    I would dump this into a wide shallow bowl and add a scoop-or-two of real Denali Moose Tracks ice cream. And maybe some raspberry sauce and a squiggle of Hershey dark chocolate syrup! :-D

  4. deb — 8/5/07 @ 11:42 am

    Sheer brilliance. I love the way you think.

  5. DaveX — 8/5/07 @ 11:44 am

    I’ve been enjoying your blog for the past week or so, thought I’d leave my first comment…

    Any chance of blogging on a delicious-looking chocolate cake like this, but without the eggs? My family is vegetarian, and half of us are allergic to eggs as well.

    Also– I loved the coconut entry. Sounds like my first experience with those stubborn things!

  6. Glenna — 8/5/07 @ 12:01 pm

    Gawd, I love the way you think!

  7. argus lou — 8/5/07 @ 12:48 pm

    Negative calories! You’re too funny, Steamy.
    Try putting in sour red currants, jarred cherries or dried cranberries?

    And for blogging about it, minus another 12 calories, girl!
    (While you’re at it, minus another 15 calories for taking the luscious photos) ;-)

  8. brilynn — 8/5/07 @ 1:23 pm

    You know, you could have told us you slaved for hours over this cake and that it’s a family secret never to be shared and we would have believed you…

  9. meeso — 8/5/07 @ 1:35 pm

    This post has me laughing, and salivating!!!!

  10. Amy — 8/5/07 @ 2:16 pm

    Sheer brilliance! The cake, the calorie counter, everything! Adding dark chocolate to the center of the cake is definitely more negative calories, dark chocolate is good for you! Raspberries too, even more negative calories. :D

  11. Brilliant!!! Interesting recipe and outstanding math skills! :)

  12. Kitt — 8/5/07 @ 2:45 pm

    You are an evil temptress, you know that?

  13. wmw — 8/5/07 @ 3:09 pm

    Can you Fed-Ex 300 of that to me???After eating all of them I should be half of what I am now with all the negative calories combined! LOL…….

  14. But wait, there’s more! I’ll also burn calories by walking to the store in the August heat to buy a Betty Crocker cake mix; after eating my first serving, making several trips back into the kitchen to steal a few extra bites; fending off others who want me to share; and of course, all that mouth movement as I devour this decadent treat–I think that puts me at -132 calories. You are indeed a genius!

  15. Melinda — 8/5/07 @ 3:29 pm

    I read your post out loud to my husband…he hates it when I do that. But he thought it was good fun and hilarious too
    I like the way you count calories and what you eat with them.
    Can you do ‘negative calorie ice cream and alcohol’ ?

  16. Could I get you to balance my checkbook, and while you’re at it would you call American Express for me, and re-negotiate my mortgage, and…
    LOL

  17. Kat — 8/5/07 @ 7:25 pm

    no betty crocker here either :( love your calorie counter, I should get one too!

  18. JEP — 8/5/07 @ 7:41 pm

    I am a dietitian—this is so clever!! BTW—don’t let my patient’s read this :)

  19. Lynn — 8/5/07 @ 10:55 pm

    My grampa always used to say that you burned up more calories eating ice cream than were in the ice cream because your body had to warm it up. If you put a scoop of ice cream on your brilliant cake, it would positively be diet food. Bring on the infomercial!

  20. Sarah Marie — 8/5/07 @ 11:49 pm

    Love your calorie counting math! This looks delicious, and so easy. My husband would gobble it up! I’ll have to try it soon.

  21. Renee — 8/6/07 @ 12:20 am

    Jaden, if you want molten lava cake, mix 1 1/2 cups skim milk with a package of chocolate pudding and pie filling (4 serving size, the kind you have to cook on the stove). Mix it really well, and pour it over the top. This works in the oven poured over brownie batter in a 2 quart baking round baking dish, but I’m thinking you might have to cook the pie filling before pouring it over the batter if you’re cooking it in the microwave. You might also want to consider a dollop of raspberry, apricot, or cherry preserves instead of chocolate.

  22. jo jo — 8/6/07 @ 12:59 am

    jaden – this reminds me of — do you remember that episode of “friends” in which monica saved the best chocolate chip cookie from phoebe but then phoebe ate it, and told monica that her grandmother said the recipe was from nes- lay tou – loose -ah. then monica goes nuts guessing the recipe until she finds out that it’s …………..

  23. jo jo — 8/6/07 @ 1:00 am

    jaden – this reminds me of — do you remember that episode of “friends” in which monica saved for years the best chocolate chip cookie from phoebe but then phoebe ate it, and told monica that her grandmother said the recipe was from nes- lay tou – loose -ah. then monica goes nuts guessing the recipe until she finds out that it’s …………..

  24. Big Boys Oven — 8/6/07 @ 5:06 am

    Ain’t it look gorgeous……… as gorgeous as the chef herself!
    There you are, …………..you can really bake well, we love it!

  25. Lydia — 8/6/07 @ 6:00 am

    Hats off to the math teacher who taught you how to subtract calories from chocolate cake! Brilliant!!

  26. nandita — 8/6/07 @ 6:02 am

    It is very difficult to believe that the luscious cake in the photo can actually be done in microwave in a jiffy, i have the same box of betty crocker at home – and i’m home alone, so may be i shall try this out – I LOVED your math for arriving at the negative calorie bit, TOTALLY AGREE!!!

  27. jacey — 8/6/07 @ 6:03 am

    Wow, that’s absolutely something I will like to try :) Yuuuummmmm!

  28. Lisa — 8/6/07 @ 7:13 am

    Well it’s no wonder how you keep your beautiful figure! Very impressive. :D

    I’d like to get in on those informercials.. I do an oustanding impression of Carol Merrill on the showcase floor!

    Also – thanks for the link to Side Salad – hysterical!

    xoxo

  29. Danielle — 8/6/07 @ 7:51 am

    My partner found this before I did, and he was laughing uproariously across the room before I opened up Bloglines to see what was going in.

    “Do you read Steamy Kitchen?” he demanded. “She’s hilarious!”

    So, you have a two out of three approval rating in our household (we haven’t shown your website to the cat yet).

  30. Inne — 8/6/07 @ 9:24 am

    I love your reasoning, Jaden! And I think you can substract some more calories for the photographing, writing and blogging about your chocolate cake.

    Must show this post to my partner – he doesn’t normally read any food blogs (apart from mine) but he read your coconut cracking post and thought it very funny.

  31. coffee — 8/6/07 @ 10:46 am

    Now you are too much dear Jaden!! ;) You are mighty good at math I must say…. How did you become a cooking instructor??!! :P

    The ramekien is to die for!!! Lusciouly moist…. I can see it all from here… Just fabulous.

  32. SteamyKitchen — 8/6/07 @ 1:39 pm

    Sage Cat- Great! This shall justify the superhero tiara that I just bought for myself!

    Ellie- use whatever cake mix you have!

    LPC- that cleverness just won you another -11 cal

    Deb- why thank you!

    Dave- try egg substitute? or applesauce instead of egg? I haven’t tried …but its worth experimenting

    Glenna- thank you!

    Argus- oh wow – I can deduct another 35 calories

    Brilynn- but like a child I cannot keep secrets…I get too excited and just want to blurt it out to the world!

    Meeso- thanks!

    Amy- you’re right – dark chocolate is worth another handful of calories

    EW Kitchen- my math skills are excellent, huh?

    Kitt- yes…evil temptress! That shall be my superhero name!

    WMW- order is on the way!

    Lisa- why didn’t i think of that???? I didn’t walk to the store, but I sure pushed the shopping cart when I shopped.

    Melinda- I vote for someone to come up with a negative calorie ice cream!

    Sandi- yeah, i sure wish life worked that way

    Kat- try with a different brand of cake mix!

    JEP- i’ll make sure that your patients don’t find my blog!

    Lynn- your grandpa is brilliant

    Sarah Marie- let me know how it turns out…I know your husband will like it!

    Renee- great ideas! I think I’m going to try brandy soaked cherries.

    JoJo- I didn’t see that episode, but now I want to find it. I wonder if I can find on youtube?

    BBO- does nuking in microwave count as baking?

    Lydia- I owe my success to my 2nd grade math teacher

    Nandita- can’t wait for u to try it. Email me when you have a post and i’ll link to it

    Jacey- thank you!

    Lisa – my new diet will be a worldwide fad

    Danielle- LOL! He’ll have to make this cake for you tonight

    Inne- hmmm…photographing the cake is worth at least another 38 calories, right?

    Coffee- Good thing I don’t teach math skills in my cooking classes!

  33. Amie — 8/6/07 @ 1:43 pm

    I make a similar cake using sour cream instead of milk and oil. I love adding peanut butter chips to the batter. Makes a glorious cake.

  34. suburbangourmet — 8/6/07 @ 2:55 pm

    Holy smokes! This is pure genius! I can’t wait to try this… Oh man, I’m impressed!

  35. That is just what I needed right now – too bad I can’t get through the computer screen!

  36. Jennifer — 8/6/07 @ 4:32 pm

    I’m trying this tonight. Most of the time, I see your photos, read your entry, and think “I’ll try that next time I’m in the mood for ____” and promptly forget. Not this time. I went out and got Betty Crocker cake mix on my lunch break. Also, I’ll be trying the applesauce variation since I have no overripe bananas. I love that this won’t get my apartment hot!

  37. Kirk — 8/6/07 @ 5:48 pm

    Negative calorie!!! Well I think I’ll have seconds…. Fabulous things come out of the Steamy Kitchen.

  38. Julie — 8/6/07 @ 5:52 pm

    You are my new favorite person lol….looks wonderful.

  39. Big Boys Oven — 8/6/07 @ 10:31 pm

    “BBO- does nuking in microwave count as baking?”

    Well as long it is a good cake even it was nuke in microwave it does count as baking. Looks so yummy, sure taste gorgeous.

  40. Big Boys Oven — 8/6/07 @ 10:31 pm

    “BBO- does nuking in microwave count as baking?”

    Well as long it is a good cake even it was nuke in microwave it does count as baking. Looks so yummy, sure taste gorgeous.

  41. Jeff — 8/6/07 @ 11:04 pm

    Turn around. Stick it out. Even white boys got to shout.

  42. tigerfish — 8/7/07 @ 12:45 am

    I would like to try that. Now I know why I can’t bake. Because… I have not explored negative calorie cooking!

  43. Carol — 8/7/07 @ 2:19 am

    HA!HA! I love this post, Jaden, you never cease to crack me up, Yeah, I WISH there actually was such a thing as a Negative Calorie Chocolate ANYTHING!
    Oh, but those horrible offal images, I should have been warned, my stomach did a flip, a somersault, urghhhh. I think I need to go lie down..

  44. Ed Tep — 8/7/07 @ 3:18 am

    Jaden – I am blown away by the pictures on your blog. They all look amazing! And I can’t wait to try the negative calorie chocolate cake. Perhaps with a scoop of negative calorie chocolate ice cream.

  45. SteamyKitchen — 8/7/07 @ 8:10 am

    Amie- peanut butter….ooooooohhhhh….add a spoonful in the middle of each ramkein!

    SGourmet- Its a very very Suburban-Gourmet-ish recipe!

    Patricia- oh, thats my next invention

    Jennifer- i hope you take pics and post…let me know and I’ll link to it

    Kirk- have thirds while you’re at it!

    Julie- aww shucks…thanks

    BBO- ok. sounds good. the next time that Food Network calls I’ll let them know that I’m a baker too!

    Jeff- baby got back!

    Tfish-exactly!!!

    Carol- i warned you missy…but nooooo….you couldn’t resist clicking!

    Ed- and a glass of negative calorie Port

  46. joey — 8/7/07 @ 10:10 am

    This post is pure genius! I am definitely trying this! It looks like something from a fancy restaurant! ;) Ooooh…I am still shaking my head in wonder! Negative calories…you will be mine! :)

  47. Gertrude — 8/7/07 @ 11:51 am

    Ms Jaden, i am a huge fan of your blog and all the food that you cooked. Been showing all the yummy dishes on your blog to my husband and he wanted me to make him this neg. calorie choc. cake. He said it won’t feel guilty eating it ;)

  48. leslie — 8/7/07 @ 12:50 pm

    Please tell me how I never found this blog before today.

    I LOVE your writing style – hilarious. And beautiful food too.

    *runs off to add to faves*

    I see negative calorie chocolate in my future…..

  49. Chubbypanda — 8/7/07 @ 7:49 pm

    Mommy, I’m scared! j/k. It looks remarkably good, considering how it was made. Nurture over nature, eh?

  50. Elaine — 8/7/07 @ 8:35 pm

    Oh my, I was wondering how you’ve calculated a neg calorie for this sinful looking molten chocolate cake…aaand based on your calculations, you’re right…it is negative! O_O

    holy moly, if this isn’t the holy grail of food! :P

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