Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake

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Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake

I know…you’re all wondering….

What an elegant dessert….
a souffle, perhaps?
molten chocolate center?
did it take hours to make?

I am pleased to present to you, my Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake.  Never before in the history of desserts has there ever been such an luscious cake that is this good for your inner chocoholic self.

Yes. you heard me right. Not just “low fat” “low calorie” or even “no calorie”

Its NEGATIVE CALORIE.  Meaning, you earn credits for eating this dessert.

So, what makes this cake negative calorie?  Well first off, I made it with:

and replace the 1/2 cup of oil with this:

and nuke for 5 minutes in one of these:

WTF?!?!?  How dare she post a recipe on a food blog using Betty Crocker and a microwave?!?  Isn’t she violating section 4.6.2 of the Food Blog Code of Conduct? 

So, smack me silly with a violation, but I know that one night this week…oh…right around 9:00pm….when no one is watching…you are going to try this cake.  You’re asking yourself if this Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake from Betty C. tastes as delicious, luscious, moist and rich as it looks. Here’s your answer:

Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake

But..but…but….how do you get negative calories with that???

 

Ok. brace yourselves.  Try to follow along now:

Betty Crocker Calories per serving 280
Replace the oil with a banana -40
Saving oven energy and using microwave instead -86
Saving time (10 minutes in micro vs. 40 in the oven) -43
Not having to look up a fancy recipe -05
For using up the ripe smushy banana – instead of tossing it -32
For not having to use your electric mixer – mixing by hand burns calories -47
For pleasing your inner “Instant Grat-Brat” (I want cake NOW!) -10
For being so clever – who else would combine BettyC+banana+micro ? -23
For using something very healthy and full of antioxidants (reduced Pomegranate Juice) -28
For…um….just because I said so -8
Grand Total -32

Can you see me on late-night infomercials pushing my Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake Diet???

Move over Atkins…here comes something steamy-er….

In case you don’t have ramekins, just pour in a 9×11-ish glass Pyrex pan (something microwave safe please) until batter reaches half way up the sides.  Microwave for 11 minutes medium-high, check for doneness. Cut into nice squares and enjoy.

Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake

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Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake

Servings: 8 Prep Time: 3 minutes Cook Time: 5-8 minutes
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I always make this with Betty Crocker Super Moist Cake Mix Dark Chocolate (the one with a Hershey's logo on it). I'm sure it will taste just as good with other brands of cake mix, but this is my preference. The ingredients below are based on the back of the box (with the exception of the banana) If you use a different brand of cake mix, follow their instructions for ingredients, replacing the banana for the oil or butter. Of course, if you aren't on a diet - ditch the banana idea and just use the oil/butter as the recipe calls for.

Note on the banana: It should be a super-ripe brownish banana...like in the photo above. If you don't have a super ripe banana and can't wait - just use the oil/butter...the recipe just won't work well with a firm, yellow banana.

Note on the microwave times: Each microwave is different. Use the times I have below and test with toothpick. Just note your final time so that you won't have to check for doneness next time.

Ingredients:

1 box Betty Crocker SuperMoist Cake Mix (Dark Chocolate) - or your fav cake mix
1 very ripe banana, smushed well with a fork
3 eggs
1 1/3 cups water
Cooking spray to spray the ramekins

Directions:

In big bowl:  Smushed banana + eggs + water (whisk well)
Stir in cake mix (Stir vigorously for a couple of minutes until well mixed)
Pour into ramekins (sprayed lightly with cooking spray) until filled 2/3 full

Every microwave is different - here are some guidelines:
For 2 ramekins:  microwave on MEDIUM-HIGH (I set my microwave on power strength 8 ) for 5 minutes
For 3-4 ramekins:  6 minutes
For 5-6 ramekins:  7 minutes

Check with toothpick to see if cake is done.  Mushy cake mix stuck to toothpick? Add another 30 seconds.  Cake crumbs on toothpick? Done.

If you'd like, top with warm chocolate sauce and maybe a little drizzle of reduced pomegranate juice:

Reduced Pomegranate Sauce

Other ideas that I haven’t tried yet:
-drop a big chunk-o-chocolate in the middle of batter in each ramekin (will it turn into a molten chocolate cake?)
-add raspberries to batter
-applesauce instead of banana? Reader Renee suggested adding 1T oil to applesauce to keep moist

Comments 201

  1. Pingback: Rivotril.

  2. Harley

    An alternative I loved was using canned pumpkin pie filling, mixing with cake mix and no other ingredients, and baking for around half the time on the package (maybe nuking will work?)

    Either way: Heavenly.

  3. Pingback: My New Heroine: Jaden Magically Makes Calories Turn Negative « off the (meat)hook

  4. Sandra

    So…I was just looking up a recipe for cooking a tender steak and stumbled upon this hillarious bit of genius! I’ll most likely try this “negative calorie” recipe but will definately remember the laugh I’ve gotten from visiting this site tonight.

  5. Dark Chocolate Lover

    Great! Now you have made me go out and buy a boxed cake with hydrogenated oils in it. White flour is a no no. I threw my microwave out 6 years ago. How do you suggest cooking it to keep it moist without using the dangerous microwave. I have nothing else on my mind for the last 48 hours but the picture of that cake. DCL

  6. Pingback: Negative Calorie Foods: Fact or Fiction? | Ask The Fitness Nerd

  7. ~M

    omg, looks delicious. and easy! Do you have any idea how much chocolate cake mix, eggs, and banana would be needed for just two ramikins. I’d love to be able to take a spoonful of mix + the appropriate amount of the remaining ingredients and just make 2 ramekins full. Instant portion control for a young couple! :)

  8. SteamyKitchen

    no, sorry I don’t!

    you can mix the entire batch, scoop out what you want in your ramekin and rest of batter in refrigerator.

  9. Dan

    Since when does saving time, saving energy, or not having to look up a fancy recipe burn calories? Or just because you say so??? Something tells me this cake is not negative calories.

  10. katherine

    LOL….That cake looks way to good to be that many calories.I mean,if you wanna see and eat a cake that good…you will have to go to Olive Garden and look on their dessert menu.

    But I don’t buy this for a second.

  11. Chocofairy

    OH MY GOD!
    I’ve almost got a heart attack! Seeing the title and the first photo together made my brain explode!
    Very great idea! I must try it!
    And I love your calories count ^^

  12. A KNESAL

    Jaden; Our cakes would be only a delicious! Negative… ‘one'(1).

    We can’t claim..> “For being so clever – who else would combine BettyC+banana+micro ? -23″

    And; …> “For…um….just because I said so -8″ (Proprietary)

    Thanks! Jaden

    PS! Will rubbing Bananas ripen them quicker?

    Now where are my Ramekins?

    1. SunmayLo

      Im pretty sure that rubbing them wont make them ripen faster; it will however damage the peel making it appear riper. if you take a fork and make marks on the peel it will brown in the spots that were broken from the prongs because the sugar in the peel browns. you just have to wait to have it ripen.

  13. Sarah

    This recipe looks delicious! And so quick and easy. I love the idea of using the banana! I imagine you are right in your post, this is prob something that I will whip up at about 9 pm to satisfy my chocolate craving :)

  14. Morgan

    By using that sugary banana (especially a super ripe one)… You’re sticking just as many calories into it as if you were using oil. And NOT doing all of those things listed is really just one more excuse to sit on your fat tush and NOT burn extra calories.

    This… Is dumb.

    Now, I understand you were trying to be all cute and stuff… But, seriously?

    hmmm….no sense of humor? I’d love to see how boring you are in bed ~jaden

  15. Lisa

    Your theory is completely wrong.
    You don’t subtract calories just because. Yes, you can say that Betty Crocker starts with 230 and subtract from there for things like not using oil. However, you can’t just say that you subtract calories because you “were being clever” or “not looking up a recipe”. Honestly, Looking up a recipe would cause you to move around looking for a recipe, and therefore burn more calories. Sorry, but you would have to be a moron to believe this.

    SERIOUSLY? Did sense of humor die this week? ~jaden

    1. sad git

      Just making sure its clear, as I think some people have missed it – this is a joke! The cake is 280 kcals, as stated in the table. It would be negative calorie if you ran fr an hour while eating it!

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  17. Sharon

    Morgan says:
    March 8, 2009 at 2:02 pm
    “By using that sugary banana (especially a super ripe one)… You’re sticking just as many calories into it as if you were using oil.”

    No, by any means a banana is lesser in cals thn oil compared in the same quantity.
    The banana she had used is at most 100 cals, and substitutes 1/2 cup of oil (which is about 7.5 tablespoonsful) and each tablespoonful of oil needs at least 100cals.

    Source: http://www.dietbites.com/diet-cooking-oil-calories.html

    “And NOT doing all of those things listed is really just one more excuse to sit on your fat tush and NOT burn extra calories.
    This… Is dumb.
    Now, I understand you were trying to be all cute and stuff… But, seriously?”

    Hello, like why are you concerned about her burning or not burning calories? What are you to Jaden? If you comment tht she is dumb, please just leave to one of other 315849135 food websites. She did NOT charge any fee for you viewing her website so why is she supposed to customize to your needs. Just grow up and stop being jealous of Jaden.

    I found those comments annoying so pardon me from being nosey. However, I LOL for the neg cals part. It was ultimate cute !

    HUGS to you! xo, jaden

  18. Nikkita

    Hahaha You’re awesome.
    And I love how people are taking your subtractiveness so seriously.

    Thank youuuu for brightening me day.

  19. Pingback: Impress her with your microwave! « Legally Eating

  20. Ed

    Yeah, she’s making a joke, I get that but actually, that’s not what puts me off – it’s the rude retorts to other people’s comments! Jeez, can’t you just tell them to lighten up instead of saying things like ‘no shit dimwit’ or ‘I cant’ wait to see how boring you are in bed’.

    And to Sharon saying that people shouldn’t leave those comments – well, if Jaden only wanted comments of adoration, she shouldn’t have enabled comments on the post!

  21. Samwise

    Good Lord yall are some uptight people.

    Why do you care what retort she makes to your comment? You have every right to leave a nasty comment – and so does she! It’s her blog!

    And if you’re that concerned about all the real calories that’s in a freakin CHOCOLATE CAKE (aka something that will always have more calories than what you want), you shouldn’t be looking at this recipe in the first place!!!!

    Go eat a piece of lettuce instead. >.>

    Jaden, I thought this was cute and funny. Anyone who actually believes you think you can magically substract calories for silly reasons is a dumbass – and I personally wish they had their posting privileges revoked so that the world would be a nicer place.

  22. Rose

    I guess the only explanation for the comments is most folks find this article while their searching for a low cal cake so it’s disappointing when they realize you’re pulling their leg. The best way to cut calories in a piece of cake is to cut yourself a small piece of cake.

  23. gmarie

    I, for one, found this post extremely enjoyable. Jaden, I love your views on calories and I can’t wait to try this recipe with Hawaii’s Apple Bananas-they are so good I don’t eat regular bananas anymore! Will let you know how they fare. Take care and keep up the great posts.

    Aloha & Mahalo from *)*_Hawaii_*(*

  24. Rishfa

    Just adding banana instead of oil doesn’t make cake negetive calorie.. it can’t be true

  25. Melissa

    Wow…so many negative comments. I thought the calorie count was cute! I constantly think of ways I’m burning calories…taking the stairs instead of the elevator, walking with my kids, etc….so I could appreciate the HUMOR in the calorie count.

    Cute post, nice recipe, although this would only be one I may make once a month and then work out obsessively for the next week. :)

  26. Linda

    Wow, a bunch of no-humor (probably very low on blood sugar, more celery, anyone? ) cranky folks here. Are you really that uneducated – nothing is negative calorie. Should have understood its going to be a fuuny recipe right from the title. Enjoy a piece and go for a walk or stop drooling by your PC in search for miracle weight loss foods. Have a fun day !

  27. Cindy

    Omg. I can’t believe people are so freakin’ uptight!
    Jaden, I stumbled upon your website after searching for a good pho recipe. I’ve spent the last hour reading your recipes and comments. Love the food porn, love your sense of humor. And I only clicked on this recipe because you were so clever with the title (likewise with co co fro yo by a fo blo – cute!)
    Can’t wait to try some of these recipes!

  28. shanzu

    HEY! i didn’t know we could substitue oil with a banana.. thanks for the million dollar idea :) love u for it.. if u have more of such awesome ideas then plz plz plz msg me on facebook http://www.facebook.com/shanzupanzu

    for now tell me has anyone actually tried this recipe? i haven’t but i wanna know how it is before i try :P heheh

  29. Darlene

    Loved the post. I can’t believe people would get SO upset over such an obvious joke! Love you blog and your recipes. Spot on about the 9pm thingy.

    And you can only make up part of a packet of the cake mix at a time and nuke it in a mug for 3 minutes. Oh, I probably shouldn’t have told you that. lol

  30. John Un

    Haha! I see what you did there! Pretty clever idea. I thought for a while it was one of those crazy ideas that the amount of energy the body needs to metabolize the food is greater than the calorie content. That concept is bogus, but I really like yours! And -8 calories just because you said so…damn that’s gold right there! Man I wish I could give you a comedy award ‘cuz you deserve one!

  31. Leslie

    cute post – actually got a kick outta reading the comments! LMAO, jeeez people! – would REALLY like to know if it truly works though? Gun shy on baking cakes in microwave – esp. after reading the one post from the non-chocolate lover.

  32. MJ

    Negative calories caught my eye esp with a photo of a delicious, yummy looking chocolate cake…never even thought that is how it becomes a negative calorie cake!!! Cute Jaden!!! Despite other people’s negative comments about it, I think it’s pretty cool to be able to make a cake this fast. Will try to make it one of these days… Thanks Jaden!

  33. jag

    i just read some of the older comments and haha. yes I do understand that the author doesnt actually think the cake has negative calories.

  34. Sunny

    Surely this is a joke.. yes, okay it is. Happy to hear that it is delicious though! I can’t wait to try it.. something you can pack ingredients for and take to work with you for cake in a cup. YUM!
    -Sunny

  35. Alison

    I adore the sneaky swap-out of banana for oil. Such a simple, fresh tip. Of course…there’s a time and a place for the oil/butter version, but I love the guilt-free approach of your recipe-less recipe.

    Check out my new blog, Glutton For Reward: http://gluttonforreward.blogspot.com/.

  36. Emi

    where are the negative calories? Its the same amount (if not more). you are just taking away calories for no reason!

  37. Keven Danzy

    I just wanted to drop by and say that your work is simply amazing. You obviously appear to be pretty knowledgeable on the subject. I have already grabbed your rss feed and added it to my library to keep myself abreast with your latest articles as you put them up. Keep up the excellent work.

  38. sweets in bulk

    I love your article.Thanks for sharing. I have to loose weight but i love chocolate cakes so much, good thing there is a negative calorie cake. Brilliant idea.

  39. Miranda

    I agree. This is not negative calories no matter which way you look at it. You essentially lied to get more people to look at your recipe. This does look like a good cake, but you lost major points with me pulling that stunt.

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