The world has gone bacon crazy, and unfortunately it has nothing to do with the food item actually made from pork belly. I’m talking about products sold in tubes, squeeze bottles, jars, cans and tablets, all flashing the word “Bacon!” as it’s only selling point and not an ounce of real pork in its ingredients. Apparently, that one word is so powerful, the products are still flying off the shelves!

I’ve seen “bakon” vodka (Twitter member @MarcSeattle said it tastes like “bac-os mixed with motor oil”), zero-calorie bacon flavor spray packaged in a hairspray-like bottle by celebrity chef David Burke, cardboard bacon air freshener that you can dangle from your rearview mirror and even bacon-flavored lip balm. When did pretending to staple two strips of fatty pig to lips become sexy?

I recently visited a friend who happens to be a vegetarian. Before I could even put my purse down and exchange pleasantries, she excitedly thrust a jar at me, “This is my newest obsession…bacon flavored mayonnaise…Baconnaise! Isn’t it genius!?” Though I have to admit, it’s not that bad in a sandwich. And I get the excitement, especially for those who are omnivores-turned-vegetarians but miss the whole meat flavor thing.

For me, I’d rather have the real deal. Spraying “bacon” flavoring on my eggs in the morning just seems so pathetic! And there’s no better way to enjoy steak than to slather it with a butter made of real bacon and real blue cheese!

Step-by-Step: Bacon and Blue Cheese Butter

First thing you’ve gotta do is cook your bacon and then mince it up in teeny tiny pieces. You should also crumble your blue cheese if it’s not crumbled already.

Soften your butter to room temperature — I use unsalted butter because the bacon and blue cheese are already salty. Smash, smush and mix with a fork.

Grab a large piece of parchment paper and plop down your bacon near the edge.

Now time to dust off your cigar-rolling/cigarette rolling or whatever rolling skills you have and roll the butter tight in the parchment paper, smoothing and evening out the butter so that it becomes a nice, tight, even log about 1 1/2 inches in diameter. Though, really, size doesn’t matter in this case. If you want a bigger butter log, go for it. But make sure you’re rolling and smoothing tight because you don’t want air bubbles or lumps.

Twist the ends tight (to compact butter even more). Refrigerate until firm, an hour should do the trick …or if you run out of time, stick it in the freezer for 20 minutes.

Ladies and gent…may I present to you umami-ness….Bacon and Blue Cheese Butter. Open that baby up and slice into 1/2-inch coins. You can use this butter on vegetables, fish, baked potatoes….ooooh….baked potatoes….

….or top a hot, just-taken-off-the-grill steak with a slab of this precious Bacon and Blue Cheese Butter.