I’m getting so close…I can smell it! So far, I’ve written 90 recipes and shot over 65 photographs…but I’m a little behind - and still have 30 more photographs and another 15 recipes to go.

I must give great thanks to a hardcore team of testers who have been relentlessly testing, suggesting and tweaking my recipes for the past couple of months. I’m sure by now, they are all Asian’d out at dinnertime! But big hugs and eternal thanks to Katherine, Susan, Phil, Susan, Daphne, Arlyn, Diana, Michael, Patsy, Shasta, Renee, Helen, Kim, Claudia, Regina, Silvia, Joon, Jaime, Susan, Joel, Richard, Bonni, Marion, Audrey, Carmen, Christine, Brian, Rory, Tina, FriedApplePie, Gail, Robin, Lexi, De Hendrix, Tauie, Danielle, Jennifer, Sarah, Ashley, Cindy, Lisa, Jeff, Owlhaven, Barry, Juliana, Madam Chow, Kathleen, Lynn, Sara, Sowjanya, DmOrtega, Melanie, Suganya, Patsy, Andrea, Wiffy, Margy, Patti, Ed, Valerie, Eneri, Marvin, Jude, Joel, Emily, Lynne, Sandy, Courtney, Will, Anne, Melissa, Shana, Micha, David, Nicola, Margy, Jim, Laura, Ric, Tiffanie, Claire, Betty, Thuy, Kindra, Xavier, Shasta, Patti, Foodiebear, Lauriel, Dickie, Cinzia, Li-Chia, Su-Eng, Jacqueline and Christina.

While the testers have done a fantastic job, I’m a little behind. I still have about 15 more recipes and another 25 photos to take. I will say that I totally underestimated how long it would take to write this book. I mean, I write on this blog twice a week and write for the newspaper weekly and it’s like no big deal. And you have to understand that I CRAVE spontaneity and loathe anything that has to do with deadlines, long term planning or being a responsible human being.

Let me tell ya, the ONLY hesitation I ever had with agreeing to write a cookbook was having this massive, dark cloud hanging over me called a deadline. Not just a regular “due by next Monday” thing, but a MASSIVE BEAST of a deadline called 18 month project. Read the full story

This weekend, we decided to take the kids to DisneyWorld to celebrate Andrew’s 5th birthday. I had absolutely nothing to do with Scott’s selection of attire and this just goes to show you how much this man loves me, by wearing the SteamyKitchen shirt that I made him.

Traveling with kids and especially going to theme parks where it takes 3 hours just to walk back to your car because you have to catch the train to catch the monorail to catch the parking tram to then forget where you parked your car in the sea of 50,000 minivans and then head back to the park the same way. So you want to make sure you’ve got it all and when the kids were babies, we used to pack everything in 30 foot trailer and drag that behind us rickshaw style. Yes, I was one of those freakish parents who wanted to be prepared for any situation. Hungry for deep fried ice cream with bubblegum jewels while pretending to be a pirate? I’ve got you covered.

And every year that goes by, we are able to lug less and less. No more diapers, wipes, strollers and 5 changes of clothing. We’ve graduated to a DELUXE fanny pack, as modeled by my husband:

Sorry for the porn music…I just couldn’t resist.

As we were in Tomorrowland, I saw something that made me shriek with laughter. It’s very rare that I come across a situation that makes my body uncontrollably convulse into the most annoying human in on the planet. And especially at Magic Kingdom, where the park is really designed for kids. Yes, it’s really cool to watch the kids totally have fun, but there’s just something about people wearing big, furry, fuzzy costumes with heads the size of a giant water tower that makes the mother in me uncomfortable. Are they hot? How can they breathe? Can they see? How much do they get paid to wear this 50,000 pound costume in 95F Florida summer with 10,000% humidity? All these questions and I start feeling sorry for these people and I have an urge to unzip their costume and throw a bucketful of ice cubes down their backs.

We had just come from AdventureLand, where were rode the Pirates of the Caribbean ride and the boys wanted pirate toys. They chose the light-up pirate gun and I happily paid the $10 each for them, because the other thing they were eyeing was the $40 dress up costume (and you know I’d have anxiety issues over that!)

So we get to TomorrowLand…you’ll have to watch the short clip. I just love the part where Nathan (3 1/2yrs old) doesn’t even say a word, calmly picks up his gun and shoots the robotic trash can.

Of course, I’ve just disqualified myself from winning the Mother of the Year award since I egg on my other kid to shoot him too. I just have one thing to say to defend my obnoxious behavior. When alien forces attack planet Earth, I’m standing behind my kids.

(btw Andrew is wearing a big “Happy Birthday Andrew” button)

Did you see the guy at the end talking and controlling the trash can? He was so sly, dressing in regular street clothes and looking very Keanu Reeves. He wore a messenger bag slung across his broad, hunky shoulder, one hand in the bag controlling the trash can and the other hand holding a voice-changing microphone.

Ok, enough blabber, I’ve got a lot of work to do! In two weeks, 08/08/08 is not only my BIRTHDAY!!!! but the start of the Beijing Olympics and I want you to be prepared. I mean, prepared for cooking good, authentic, easy Chinese food - not necessarily my birthday, though all gifts of the chocolate or coffee nature are welcome with open arms - so I’ll be posting quite often and you’ll see a series of Chinese recipes and menu ideas!

The next time anyone asks me, “don’t you want another kid?” or “are you going to have another baby to try for a girl?”

All I have to do is flash them this photo:

The playroom that was I had spent the previous 2 days sorting, scrubbing and organizing:

I think they are building a secret railway from our home to DisneyWorld.

Thank you Scott for cleaning up this mess afterwards!

Update:

AHA!!! Found this article today! “Stay at Home Moms Worth at Least $117K/yr”

GOOD LORD! What brand of happy pills is she on?

WIth 18 children, I’d be using a lot more than my index finger scolding that child!

I’m finally going home tomorrow! Don’t get me wrong, I love visiting my parents, but I miss my husband and my bed. I want my bathroom towel warmer, I want my secret stash of chocolates that I hide in the refrigerator drawer labeled “vegetables.” I want to know that when I push those tiny, rubbery buttons in this particular order “170”at any given point, that someone whose sole goal is to pleasure me appears on TV and brightens my evening.

Simply put, I NEED MY COMFORTS THAT KEEP ME SANE.

Alright, enough whining, because really, I did have a fantabulous time in Los Angeles, I got to meet this woman. But really - don’t be fooled by her cute, blonde hair and (ding!) gorgeous, sparkling smile. She’ll flip your legs over head and have your body splayed on the floor in 2 seconds flat, with one-hand behind her back whipping egg whites. Mental note: don’t be stupid and challenge her to an arm wrestle after 3 glasses of wine.

I took the kids to Knott’s Snot’s Berry Farm one afternoon and after the 156th time on the choo-choo train that goes around and around and around and around on a track the circumference of a blow-up kiddie pool, I wanted to just grovel to the kid selling shaved ice cones to puulleeeeze spike my razzlin’ raspberry cone with some gin, vodka or your choice of whatever stashed in your back pocket.

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