When I married my husband, I knew I was also marrying into generations of family holiday traditions. In fact, I think it was written in the marriage contract, squeezed right between not touching his BBQ grill and promising to love him even when he’s 80 years old and I still look 35. The first Christmas together was a little stressful, but I kept notes of all the little things I needed to remember – like what kind of candles to buy for the German pyramids (skinny, small), the placement of hand blown glass ornaments on the tree (big ones on bottom), and what kind of cookies are served Xmas morning (shortbread).
I did ok when both kids were too young to really understand the holidays, so I mostly winged my way through it. I mean, would they really remember that I spaced out opening their chocolate Avent calendar the first 2 weeks of December? Oh, and that I ate all their chocolate for them because pediatric dental visits are expensive?
Last year though, both kids were of speaking age, meaning that they could rat me out if I forgot something or did something wrong. There’s nothing more embarrassing than a 2 year old shrieking to Grandma, “SANTA DOESN’T LIKE US!” …continued…
Grandma helped the kids, who were in their flannel jammies set out a plate of cookies, glass of milk for Santa and a bowl with mini corn on the cobs for the reindeers. A perfect little treat from perfect little kids.
After they went to bed, the family elves scurried to the living room to set up the train set, while I stayed in the kitchen to clean. As OCD I am about tying up the end of the bread bag after you’ve taken a slice of bread, I am even more neurotic about food left on the counter. Bare, exposed food is left out to defend itself against germs, bacteria and late night infomercials about men with small pee-pees.
On the big morning, the kids ran straight to the kitchen counter. They didn’t see anything so they opened the trashcan to look for crumbs. Sitting right on top of the pile of trash were cookies uneaten and corn untouched.
Oh shit. There goes another $10K in future therapy bills for them.
I’m prepared this season. I got a pack of Post-its to remind myself what I need to do, including my midnight snack of gnawing corn, chomping cookies and gulping milk. But of course, my husband gently reminded me the yesterday that I really should remember leave some crumbs on the plate as Santa’s mittens are quite bulky, so most likely he’d be a little clumsy eating. To which I replied, “Well, can’t I leave antibacterial wipes and the Shark-Vac next to the plate?”
Mimi’s Shortbread Cookies
Ingredients
- 1/2 cup butter, at room temp
- 1/3 cup powdered sugar
- 1/4 teaspoon vanilla
- 1 cup flour, unsifted
Instructions
- Cream butter on high until light yellow. Turn speed to low and add in powdered sugar. When mixed, turn speed to high and add vanilla. Turn back to low speed and add flour, 1/3 cup a time until crumbly. Use hands to gather dough together. Knead dough on a lightly floured counter until nice and smooth. For shortbread pan: spray lightly with nonstick spray, firmly press dough into pan. For heavy baking sheet: turn baking sheet over, spray back of sheet with nonstick spray. With floured rolling pin, roll into a circle, 1/2” thick and 8” wide directly on baking sheet. Use hands to nudge into round shape with smooth edges. You may find it easier to wrap and refrigerate dough for 20 min before rolling.
- Prick surface with fork. Bake 325F for 30-35 minutes until lightly browned. Cool on pan for 10 minutes, loosen edges with knife. If using shortbread pan, flip pan over onto rack. If using baking sheet, carefully slide cookie onto rack. Cut into wedges while warm so it doesn’t crack.
***
Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who nominated me for one of the annual Well Fed Network food blog awards! I can’t believe that 11 months ago, I started this dinky blog thinking that I could hide out on the Internet and just use it to keep track of recipes. Wow, was that small thinking on my part!
I’m very honored to be a finalist in 3 categories – Best New Blog, Best Photography and Best Writing. 3 categories! WOOHOO! While I know winning all three would be a long shot (and I think some of my competitors in the writing and photography are pretty damn awesome) will you at least vote for me so that I won’t go down in blog history as, “the chick who was a finalist for 3 categories but didn’t win shit.”
That, my dear, would suck.
So, if you vote for me, I’ll promise to write a letter to Santa, Buddha, God, Jesus, Lady Godiva, Annapurna…or whoever you want, saying wonderful things about you. Good karma will come your way.
Voting ends Friday, December 14th 11:59 pm. Vote right here, baby!
xoxo, Jaden
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Negative Calorie Chocolate Cake
An Ode To Spam____A little note from my sponsor____
Are you hosting a dinner party? The table setting is one of the most important elements to set the tone of the party. Impress your guests with beautiful dinnerware, flatware and wine glasses. Before the guests arrive, be sure to use quality cutlery and cookware to make cooking easier and faster. Sharpening knives as they begin to dull will keep your knives like new.
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Did you try this recipe? Please leave a star rating in the recipe card below and leave a review in the comment section! I always appreciate your feedback and I know other readers do, too!
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Loved your Christmas story! Did this all with my children and now am practicing on grandchildren. Shortbread cookies are the best. Did you get the CubbyBear stainless flatware for the kids?
What template are you running on this site ? I really like it. Could you post where you got it from ?
I love your site and your wit, too. I also agree with Ken on the Savory Spice Shop recommendation…when I searched the web trying to find HBI garlic and Syrian Aleppo Peppers for the Dukkah recipe this was one of the few places I could find it! Great product and service! (and great Dukkah!)
http://www.savoryspiceshop.com/aboutus.html Love the site and love your style. The above link is to a shop that sells the worlds best spices! check them out!
wow, that was a truly entertaining post Jaden! btw, my vote’s already there, I just wanted to say that those berries besides the cookies are getting all my attention!:)
The cookies look absolutely marvellous! How on earth did you get them into such perfectly uniform shapes?
Oooh, I loved shortbread cookies growing up. Then I found out all the butter that goes in them. Still, I will treat myself to them now and then. So I think after your pictures, I’ll treat myself to some now!
BTW, I love your redesigned site. You’re like your own very corporation!
Just finished voting for you in all three categories and putting a candle on Lady Godiva’s altar!
Good luck!
🙂
Voted! Just pray I get some good photography skills as you…. My new canon has been packed and thrown somewhere in the store room after a week of usage! I just can’t do with so so so many functions!!! SIGH!! 🙁
can’t wait until the cooking class this week!!
(hey…did you know you can’t vote multiple times from the same computer…pity…) 🙂
Your kids will survive, better than you can imagine. It’s you that we have to worry about. Doing crazy stuff like gnawing corn at midnight?
Of course I’m voting for you. How could you not win?
Of course I’ll be voting for you…you’re awesome 🙂
YUM. I heart shortbread, and I’m always looking for a good recipe. This one looks great. I am off to vote!!
Thanks for stopping by, btw, it was a heartstopping moment when I realized I’d been visited by a CELEBRITY!!! Too awesome.
You ROCK, Jaden!…keeping my fingers crossed though I know you wouldn’t need them….If you still have time to bake Shortbread and care to try mine, send me an e-mail…I’ve had compliments and by far, the most memorable one was the one coming from the F and B manager of one of the largest chain of Hotels….he said that it was the BEST Shortbread he’s had and he has eaten his fair share in all his travels worldwide!…The downside to this….once you start making them and giving them away to your neighbours like I do, you will find yourself in the same spot I am now…telling yourself, “How in the world did I get myself into this!”…because your list will just keep on getting longer each YEAR!!!!
Kudos! And these cookies look awesome.
Hi Jaden, u r already a winner to me! ur blog is great, dont worry, have faith in them! One vote from me! Good luck!
Nice looking shortbread.
Congrats!!! !
I voted for you in three categories! If there were more, I didn’t find them.
Tim
OMG! I looooove your shortbread pan. But then, I love all things Scottish. 😛 I made this recently too! It’s almost exactly the recipe I use except I use brown sugar in place of powdered. And it is fab!
You never have to bribe us honey. My votes are in.
By the way, I read this and it gave me a great sense of comfort as I am exactly the same way: As OCD I am about tying up the end of the bread bag after youve taken a slice of bread, I am even more neurotic about food left on the counter.
Thanks for checking out my new photos!
That shortbread recipe is too easy! Even I could do it (I think).
Your pics are gorgeous and so I shall vote for you. Bea’s got too many of those awards anyway – she doesn’t need yet another one!
“Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony and a plastic rocket…”
I done voteded!
Come to think of it, why were you not short-listed as well for Funniest Blog?! You’re funny as heck, Mrs Steamy. ;-P
i voted! best luck to you…you rock!
My votes are in, good luck Jaden! You are already a winner no matter what. Now please tell Santa I want a new lens for my DSLR. 😀
When I was little, I never believed in Santa, anyway. Mall Santas were obviously fake, and the basic idea just seemed roughly as credible as my Dr. Seuss.
Until, that is, a friend of our family — who happened to be a professional clown and Santa during the holidays — stopped by my grandparents house. “How’d you like that sled I gave you when you were a kid, Cora?” and etc.
So I did believe for a few years after that.
You have reminded me that I need to get my butt in gear and into the kitchen.
Not sure if you have tried this, or even if you enjoy the falvors…but a few years ago in a Martha Stewart Living magazine she has a recipe for rosemary and pine nut shortbread…ever since I cannot think about shortbread without them…fantastic.
My votes are in…good luck Jayden…you deserve to have a few “wins” under your belt!! Can’t wait to meet you on Friday!!
Those are smart kids! I remember the year I found out that “mom” was “santa” — it was the year I realized that Santa had the exact same hand writing as my mom! I was so mad! I drew angry pictures of Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny and posted them in the middle of our living room in protest!
After the years of therapy, your kids will thank you for the fact that you loved them enough to pretend 🙂
I just voted, hope you’ll win at least one if not all of them 🙂
congratulations!!!
Congrats Jaden, on all the nominations… I was surprized to find you not in the best humour category!!!!!!!!!!
Good luck… I’m sure you will win at least one of these…
Congratulations! This post is hilarious — I know a blog is good if I have to be nervous about reading it at work for fear of laughing out loud. 🙂
Those are beautiful and easy… wow…….. Congrats on the nomination!
The cookies are so simple! Even I can make these 🙂
Congrats on the nominations. I’m off to vote…
I voted! Hubby gets the job of eating the cookies and drinking the milk at our house. 🙂
Loved your story Jaden..it started my day off right. I never ate the cookies but I put them back in the container…who’s to know. I did drink the milk though! I love shortbread so I will attempt it again this year. It is one of those things we love but I haven’t found the perfect recipe..always a crumbled mess that I just press into a pan… I don’t think I have the right touch …it is like making pastry for me. I need to find a re4cipe I can make in the food processor. Congratulations also for being nominated!!!
I voted just now for you. You certainly deserve to win! 🙂
You crack me up every time I read your posts. Another $10K in future therapy bills, mini vac and handi wipes for Santa! HA!
Happy Holidays!
congratulations Jaden. Well-deserved! 🙂
Oh my, the traditions can make a mom so frazzled!
growing up we didn’t have any Christmas rituals like that. Heck I asked my mom once how Santa came to the apartment in Chinatown. She told me through the range exhaust. Of course, it was pointless as we never got gifts from Santa. My brother and I were never recipients of gifts from Santa. Unless he was Chinese and gave us oranges. Hubby never got the Santa traditions from his mom. We made them up for my kid. With a twist. He swore Santa wanted Ching Bo Leung soup from his Popo, so we went with it. Dad ate the cookies, and mom drank the soup. Benedryl was our friend the night before Christmas. Here’s a trick you can try as they get older. Take a picture of the tree all decorated late at night after they have gone to bed. Hubby went surfing on the internet, found a photo of Santa he liked, and photoshopped the old guy in a photo of our decorated tree. He blurred Santa as if he moved too fast, and wrote a letter. The night before Christmas set up the tripod with your camera. In the morning when the kids come rushing to the tree, they will find the photo with the letter, telling the kids better luck next time. Of course the letter should include some funny things like the cat tried to climb his pant leg, or the dog sneezed on him, Mom came running out with the windex, in fear of soot on her carpet. This worked for 3 years! Make sure the photo is new each year of course.
Good luck with the blog contest. I’m sure you will be a winner.
OMgosh, I laughed out loud when I read your post this morning – I can relate all too well!!
Happy Holidays!
@ Susan: As to that remote, remember, in their house Scott’s not the one with the ownership of the sharp implements … 😉
What? Your husband lets you touch the remote control?
Thank you for submitting your shortbread to Eat Christmas Cookies.
There is no food blog hotter than Steamy Kitchen this year. It is well deserved, dearest Jaden. -Susan
Jaden, thanks for a fun and informative blog. It’s the best. Please send that letter to Santa. Regardless of how the voting turns out, you’re a winner.
Hey, Mrs Steamy, you got all my votes! (I even tried to vote twice for you in Photography but they were on to me.) ^_*
All the best for a wonderful, enjoyable and stress-free festive season to you and your loved ones. Think of the snow and cold in Switzerland!
i’m a 20 year old college student that has been following your blog semi-religiously for the last two months without posting (what? me? lurk?)… it’s about time to speak up and give thanks. steamy kitchen has helped me procrastinate on mannnny papers, so it was no contest when voting for those 3 categories. love your writing and the modern asian flare!
Laughed…then voted (4 U)…then checked my supply of butter…I ‘m makin’ some shortbread! Finally made the Dukkah from way back when and am lovin’ it! Also enjoyed many of the recipes from the Vanilla contest..especially loved Virginia’s Irish Cream recipe…get the paddles out….clear!! She’s right BTW..don’t share!
Headed to Portland today for some great food and The Shins concert! Happy birthday to ME!
Know Your Onion!
Done, done and done … back when you told me a couple days ago! 🙂 Hey, we put you in there, gotta get you in the rest of the way, ya’ know? I mean, you know how uninvolved I am in politics … 😉
BTW y’all, in case you missed Jaden’s ‘Twitter’ box, the green ‘what am I doing’ block in the top-right of this page … LA residents, have a look!
I’m OCD about stuff like that too. Voted for you 🙂
I just voted…u r sure a winner!
You make me smile with every single post, you OCD freak, you! 😉
I voted… but you are already a winner!
Thanks for being so dang funny.
Nags- Yes its that simple! MiMi got this recipe from the package of her shortbread molds and has made it this way for years. I’ve made it 3 years in a row now and its by far the best I’ve ever had. Probably because it is so simple.
that shortbread has a ridiculously simple recipe. are u sure u didnt miss out any ingredient. and yea, i will vote, i will vote!
Congratulations, Jaden! I’m off to vote now!