Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice. If you or someone you know is struggling with ketamine or substance use, please consult a licensed medical professional.

Earlier this year, I wrote about my experience at a ketamine retreat, complete with guided journeys, meditation, waterfall hikes, and yoga. Ketamine cracked something open in me. It softened pain I didn’t know I was still holding onto. It made space for the grief, clarity, and relief I’d been chasing for years. But that wasn’t the end of the story.

A few weeks later, I found myself using ketamine more frequently. First to maintain the glow. Then to cope with stress. And eventually, just to feel normal again.

Somewhere along the way, slowly but quietly, I crossed a line.

When the Red Flags Start to Feel Familiar

The first thing I noticed was the brain fog, and soon, I felt unfocused more often than not. Then came the feeling that I was living in dull colors. Everything lost a bit of its texture, and at first, I blamed it on age, stress, and menopause. Soon after, I started noticing that I needed to urinate much more frequently, a tell-tale sign of the bladder dysfunction that comes with increased ketamine use.

But deep down, I knew what was going on. As a former alcohol addict of nearly 30 years, my body was sounding the alarm, again. I had two choices: confront the truth, or face the very real and possibly permanent damage I was already doing.

Let’s drop the stigma and get real for a second, because if we’re not willing to have honest conversations about how powerful medicines can also become dangerous patterns, then we’ve missed the point of healing altogether.

Ketamine Addiction Doesn’t Always Look Like Addiction

That’s the hard part. Addiction to ketamine is sneaky, and in some ways more dangerous than other substances because it’s often masked as healing work. It often hides behind therapy language and wellness packaging. People don’t see themselves as addicted. They see themselves as “doing the work.”

You might tell yourself:

• “I’m doing inner child healing.”

• “This helps me cope with anxiety and depression.”

• “I need this to access my emotions.”

• “Ketamine is doctor-prescribed, so it’s safe.”

If you’re using ketamine to escape your life, not face it, then the medicine has become the master, and you’ve given your power away.

The Physical Damage Is Real, and Often Irreversible

Licensed ketamine providers instruct patients to take their dose 1-2 times per week, but many people are abusing the substance daily, and at that frequency, ketamine can cause lasting harm, especially when warning signs are ignored.

Documented risks include:

• Ketamine-Induced Cystitis, which causes constant urgency, pelvic pain, and in extreme cases, irreversible bladder shrinkage that requires surgery. Some users lose their bladder completely.

• Cognitive Impairment, which means memory issues, difficulty focusing, and emotional dullness, often mistaken as the side effects of aging, burnout, or menopause.

• Cardiovascular Strain, in the form of elevated blood pressure and heart rate, as well as an increased risk of stroke or heart events.

• Organ Stress. Liver and kidneys carry the burden, especially when use is frequent or mixed with alcohol or medications.

• Psychological Dependence. It’s not just about craving a high, it’s about slowly forgetting how to cope without it.

   

If you’re wondering if it’s happening to you or someone you love, here are some signs to look out for:

• Someone who was once calm and grounded is now irritable or foggy.

• Constant bathroom trips and disrupted sleep.

• Increased dosing, paired with denial that anything’s wrong.

• Combining substances to chase the high.

• A subtle disconnection from life, people, and even joy.

And in the wellness world, it’s easy to miss, because it’s wrapped in language that sounds intentional, therapeutic, or spiritual. And I’m speaking from personal experience.

This Medicine Requires Honesty

To be clear: ketamine therapy can be a game-changer. When used under proper medical supervision and integrated with real therapeutic support, it’s helped countless people break through treatment-resistant depression, PTSD, and chronic anxiety. For some, it’s the first thing that’s worked after years of trying everything else. That’s not just valid. It’s life-saving.

However, this medicine requires honesty with yourself, with your therapist, and with the doctor prescribing it. If you’re considering ketamine therapy, or are already using it, this isn’t about shame or fear. It’s about staying grounded and aware.

If you have a history of addiction, dissociation, or compulsive behaviors, bring that to the table from the beginning. If you start feeling like you need a session to get through your week, say something.

What I Did Next

Once I recognized the signs of dependency, I contacted my primary care provider. I told her everything: my symptoms, my concerns, my dosage. Together, we decided to run a full panel of blood work.

The results came back with a dangerously abnormal marker, something that could be  connected to my ketamine use. We don’t know for certain, but the warning was enough to shake me.

That lab report was my wake-up call. I needed to get honest with myself, fast. And I needed to change the direction I was heading in.

The story could’ve gone another way. But I chose the truth, again.

And that truth cleared the fog. Not instantly, but enough to see the next steps forward—to not just stop, but to start replacing. Because healing isn’t just about what you leave behind. It’s about what you build in its place.

Replace & Redirect

Cravings don’t just disappear. They demand a destination.

As a former addict, I knew that if I quit ketamine without replacing it with something else, I would just create a void. And voids don’t stay empty for long. The old loop can sneak back in a different form.

So I didn’t just stop. I redirected. I traded the pattern for something that served my body, mind, and heart better: learning two new skills: one for my body (weightlifting) and another for my bank account (building wealth with real estate). Being obsessed with learning new skills is the same strategy I’ve used to walk away from sugar, from alcohol, and from spirals of self-sabotage.

What worked for me may also work for you. Instead of white-knuckling through temptation, focus on retraining your nervous system to find safety, reward, and regulation in something healthier and more productive. 

Instead of breaking a bad habit or pattern by fighting harder, build something stronger in its place that actually serves you.

Healing with ketamine is possible, but it has to start with clarity, not self-deception. And that means checking in with yourself regularly and making sure you’re still choosing the medicine… instead of the medicine choosing you.

Helpful Resources:

• SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) – 24/7, free and confidential

• Psychology Today: psychologytoday.com (filter by substance use/ketamine experience)

• Urology Care Foundation: urologyhealth.org

• Fireside Project: firesideproject.org (psychedelic peer support)