At The Pioneer Woman’s Ranch
It’s been over a year since the we three piggy, party-throwin’, spooning, street gals have been together in the same city. So finally, after months and months of coordinating, we bought our tickets, corralled the family and headed to Oklahoma.
When Ree sent over driving directions to the ranch, it was like 2 pages long. She’s written about her house being in the middle of nowhere, but I guess I’ve been living city life a leeeetle too long, I was all prepared to punch in her address in our GPS. But there’s no address to the Lodge and even if there was an address, the GPS wouldn’t know where it was!
Ree explained that the cows knocked down the street signs, so we were given landmarks to look out for as directions.
Scott drove and I instructed the boys to look out for the landmarks with me. I think this was one of them:
We’re getting closer…..
Gotta check in the rearview mirror that Elise and her boyfriend Guy is still behind us!
We’re almost there!
It’s starting to look like a PW’s site…..so close!
Look! A cowboy grill! We’re here!
The Lodge view is absolutely breathtaking.
Our welcome committee was Yo Yo the dog and the gray and white cat who kept trying to get into the house. Both Scott and Elise are crazy allergic to cats, so she was off limits.
Ree was finishing up cooking and her text to me said, “Make yourself and home and go jump on the beds!”
So we did.
I realized that I look a little nutty when I jump like a monkey on a bed. Thank goodness that photo is blurry and you can’t see the loony expression on my face.
I hope she wasn’t joking about wanting us to jump on her beds. We jumped on all of ’em!
Ree and the family came with dinner! Oh those boys are so precious – Todd and Bryce hit it off immediately with my boys – all it took was a flurry of exchange of electronics and flying helicopters that battle each other. The girls, Page and Alex are so tall and beautiful!
This was after a couple glasses of wine. We’re still standing.
“Just a little butter on the bread!” Well, “little” by PW standards, at least. She called this “Butter Bread”…..with the word butter in 8 foot tall letters. The butter bread goes in the oven for 30 minutes – so that the butter slowly melts and settles into every available space inside the bread and not just on the top layer.
My favorite part of regular garlic bread is the top buttery layer of crunch….can you imagine and entire inch of bread – top/middle/bottom made of that?!
When we booked our travel, I had totally forgotten it was Nathan’s birthday, so literally 2 days before we arrived, I emailed Ree to rescue me. Help?!
Bad mom…..bad mom!
Of course she came to the rescue….Nathan got caught sampling the cake.
So did Todd….busted!!!
The boys got to decorate the birthday cake with M&M’s and candles.
Happy 7th Birthday!
So who wants to wake up at 6am to feed horses with Ladd?
Scott, Elise and I slinked down in our seats a little. 6am?!
It was all up to Elise’s boyfriend, Guy, to raise his hand and sacrifice himself else our hosts would think they had a Lodge-ful of wussies. Fortunately, it was Guy’s sort of thing and he happily woke early in the morning to feed thousands of wild horse. Oh the photos he took!! Guy said it was exhilerating to be so close to these beautiful, wild mustangs.
After the feeding, Ladd came by with a laptop and announced, “Let’s buy cattle.”
It’s a live auction streaming online….I think he was trying to convince my husband to buy some too. Let’s all be cattle ranchers!
We looked a little hodge-podge in our cobbled-together cold-weather outfits – Andrew brought his rubber rainboots. I’m wearing one of the kids’ hats that is too small and squeezing my forehead together.
That’s Charlie and Walter!!! Cutie-patooties! Charlie likes his belly rubbed.
In the afternoon, Ladd asked us if we wanted to go “work the cattle” – and this time we all raised our hands. And then I realized that working cattle meant getting on a horse, which I had only done once before when I was young, flexible and even then I was terrified! Horse are big, powerful and there’s no seatbelt! They have built-in eject mechanisms!
Cowboy Josh gives Scott a 15 second horse riding lesson, “Hold tight and don’t fall off.”
But these little ones are pros….
Elise, Ree and I stayed behind with my boys and waited until they all came back with a couple hundred cattle. Look how obedient these cows are!
I said to Ree, “Look! They are playing follow the leader!”
She said, “No, they’re playing avoid the horse.”
One of the cousins showed Nathan how to ride a horse for the very first time. My baby! Riding a horse!
Hold on tight…..oooooh worried mother…..
Uh, come back! Where y’all going!? Don’t go too far!
Elise had no problem riding – she looks like a natural on that horse.
The calves were separated in a different pen. And it was only THEN that I realized “working cattle” meant much more than hearding them from one pasture to another. Working cattle also meant branding, inoculation and fixin’ the boys.
That’s Ladd and his brother Tim with 2 cowboys — and there on the ground, that brave, brave girl in the hoodie is 12 year old Page. She can wrestle calves! (Boys you better watch out!). Page is my hero.
Oh, let’s see this photo with some iPhone editing magic….
Isn’t that just too cool!? I’m using Snapseed app (hat tip to Cool Mom Tech) with the Tilt Shift filter (don’t know what tilt-shift is? it’s normally a very expensive and special lens that makes things look like a minature scene — check this out!)
Another photo with Instagram filters….
Guess who’s no longer a cattle wrestlin’ virgin?
Yup, that’s Guy right smack in the middle of things.
As the day progressed, I finally got the courage to get on the big, scary horse. Because of my recent knee surgery, I had to have 3 people help me up and push up my butt. I had to make sure everyone put away their cameras when this was occurring.
I let the horse walk me around – I got the same 15 second cowboy horse lesson and I was so focused on balancing and not falling that I didn’t hear a word of instruction. So the horse just did her thing and I held on.
Scott was busy rounding up a stray calf that escaped from the pen, the cowboys were still wrestling calves and there was no one around.
Uh, hello!? Can someone help me get off this horse!?
So I had to take the conference call on the horse.
ON THE HORSE.
Holding the phone in one hand, grasping the reins with the other while leaning forward and squeezing my thighs tight against the horse (Kegel FTW!) so I woudn’t fall off while the horse was trotting around.
That night we all slept well….Charlie and Walter came by and spent the night too. They snore loud!
The next morning was totally surreal – Elise and I sitting on the couch at the Lodge watching Ree’s Christmas Special on Food Network. Hey! That kitchen is right there! We’re sitting on that couch right now!
Ree pampered us with massages and manicures with Kay and Lana at the Lodge.
Guy snapped this photo of Scott in his robe after his massage. So very Town and Country!
Our last morning was rewarded with one of the most spectacular sunrises I’ve ever experienced.
Elise sat on the couch with Andrew to watch the show.
It was a wonderful, magical vacation for all of us. What a blessing to have such beautiful friends. Next year, it’s my turn to host, perhaps a beach house and we’ll surf instead of work cattle!
I couldn’t leave this post about Pioneer Woman without cowboy booty photos……