I’m the newest guest author at my friend Elise’s blog at Simply Recipes!

My first recipe is Chinese Shrimp Fried Rice.

Come on over and read the secrets to light, fluffy and flavorful Chinese Shrimp Fried Rice — secrets that my Mom taught me.

Before we tie a big, fat bow on this year’s box of ups, down and go-arounds, I‘d like to give props to Spam, the wondrous food that started my relationship with Creative Loafing (the newspaper that I write a weekly food column for) earlier this year when I dared editor Max to lose his spam virginity to me. And yes, I was gentle. I fed him luscious morsels of Spam nestled in mounds of snowy, fluffy, white rice.

It’s not an easy task, convincing people to willingly eat meat that comes in its own coffin, especially after hearing the “STHLURP” as it slithers out and the “STHLUNK” as it lands on the counter top in a quivering, solid, gelatinous mass.

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On Thanksgiving, we packed the kids in the minivan and headed to Orlando to my brother-in-law’s for a “Boston Market Takeout Thanksgiving.” Oh, don’t groan, it really wasn’t bad at all. While you were all scrubbing layers of grease off your pans, all we did was crumple up take out containers. The best part of celebrating the holidays with people who don’t cook is knowing that the entire turkey carcass is MINE…..ALL MINE.

Such a silly thing to be smug about, but I consider the endless potential of leftover bones just as exciting as the roasted turkey itself. And since we only have turkey once or twice a year, I act like Tom of Tom & Jerry with icons of turkey flashing in my eyes. I could make stock (freeze and use throughout the year), gumbo, casserole, soup and my favorite….Turkey Congee (rice porridge)

Normally, when I spend holiday dinners with other cooks and chefs, it’s a silent game of strategy. But how would you politely and tactfully be the first to lay dibs on the turkey bones if you are a guest? Since many of you will have turkey again for Christmas dinner, I’m going to share my secrets with you. But if you click through to read…you’ve just waived away your right to use these tricks against me. Deal?

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Hey guys! I just wanted to quickly say hello and to let you know that we’re having a great time.  So far I’ve managed to stay out of trouble and haven’t been arrested for indecent language or deported for eating more than my fair share of Hairy Mitten Crabs. I have so much to tell you about, but maybe a little bite at a time….

Steamed Rice Recipe

I’m writing this post after climbing a portion of the Great Wall of China earlier this afternoon, where I had one of the most humbling moments in my life. But let me back up for just a sec and explain why I’m China in the first place…..

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I witnessed something yesterday that compelled me to post something that was NON-ANIMAL:

At stoplights, most people will chat on the phone, daydream or play air drum to the radio. Me? I sit there and rehearse different apologies to say to my kids’ daycare teachers, “I am SO sorry Mrs. so-and-so….my Mom warned if I ate too many spicy chilies during my pregnancy that my kids would turn out the same…sadly, I did not listen.”

For those of you who have small “energetic” children, I doubt I need to explain that having not one but TWO 3-foot tall firecrackers is like a cowboy trying to walk with 30-pound spurs on each leg….

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